History as I understand it
The United Kingdom was founded when King Arthur and his wife Boudicea helped Jesus to free the the British Isles from the Romans. Their son King Harold defeated The Vikings, but subsequently lost the country to the Normans when William The Conquerer shot him in the eye with an arrow. French chivalry was imposed on the country, forcing the next king Henry VIII to have eight wives through being too polite not to propose. His daughter Queen Victoria abolished Chivalry and replaced it with the industrial revolution, as well as winning two world wars against the Germans. Her daughter, the current Queen Elizabeth II, has so far only won one world cup against them but in her defence she did have to share at least part of her reign with Diana, Queen Of Hearts. She was murdered. Presumably by a Hibs fan.
And that’s the story of Britain.