There’s a doings a-happening over at the Blue Whale Studios blog. They’re inviting their extensive network of Street Peeplez to compile lists of the top ten Birmingham bands of the decade, and will presumably later compile them together into big one master list that’ll provide accurate and definitive answers to the questions that keeps us all awake at night: “Which bands were The Bestest? Can you prove that? Can you prove that with science?”

Several lists have already come in and they make for an interesting read. They’re all whiter than Casper The Friendly Ghost, obviously, but many good bands are lauded.

I’m not going to provide my list of the top ten Brum bands of the decade, because I despise the Birmingocentricism that has poisoned social discourse in recent centuries. I will instead do a list of top ten local bands instead. As the learned DJ Kool taught us: it ain’t where you’re from, it’s where you’re at.

Disclaimer~! Since this concerns the period 2000-2009, I will count down from nine to zero rather than ten to one. This is the only sensible course of action.

Disclaimer~! There are actually eleven. I really didn’t want to exclude either of the last two.

Disclaimer~! They’re not all bands, as such.

Disclaimer~! I’m not including Carina Round, as a result of her moving to the colonies. Only a chap with a really really long tape measure would be able to describe her as local nowadays. She wins the international prize.

9) Copter / Einstellung

Joint ninth place because I really didn’t want to leave either out. Einstellung (often referred to as The ‘Ung. By, erm, me and no-one else) play what might well end up being called Krautpunk – repeat-repeat-repeat German 70s style business, but with a driving motive power that breezes you along. Copter, meanwhile, soul’n’roll at you until you involuntarily start shouting “Testify mah bruthah” in an unconvincing American accent. This is a good thing. Well… it’s a good thing in context, anyway.

8) The Courtesy Group

Hawaiian shirts, poetry, Fall-esque post-punk and onstage fruitloopery. I’ve just ordered their long-time-coming album and I can’t wait.

7) Jamelia

Yes, I know. Including some kind of superstar (haw, see what I did there?) on a list of local bands is a bit feeble, and I acknowledge that. She is a Brummie, though, has had some amazing songs, and “Money” really has to be one of the most pleasingly odd things I’ve ever heard. *Cough*She’salsoreallyquiteunbelievablygorgeous*Cough*

6) Deadsunrising

West Bromwich metal. If I need to add anything to that then there’s something wrong with you, not me or them. One of the most manically exciting live bands I’ve ever seen; their first last ever gig (they turned out to have a few last ever gigs) would be amongst the top ten best live sets I’ve ever seen from any band ever.

5) Pram

I’d like a bit of Pram, please (I like ‘em in good condition etc. etc.) The word ‘soundscape’ is hurtling towards us and there’s nothing I can do to stop it. Pram’s music is always very effectively dreamlike, occasionally veering over to being very effectively nightmarish. Music that sounds like it should be a score for the sort of film that stars a creepy child and is set in some eerie old art deco hotel.

4) Mothertrucker

Instrumental doom metallers with a sense of humour and some bleedin’ enormous riffs. Rubbish name, though. Their ex-drummer has by now pretty much conclusively proven that he’s better than me at chess.

3) Modified Toy Orchestra

Circuit-bending, i.e. pulling a toy apart and having a go at the circuit board with a soldering iron until it makes pretty noises. Since these noises must have existed in potentia, this is possibly an example of the collapse of quantum probability fields. I missed their last gig at Vivid (well… I was there, but left early due to being sick of You People. Yeah, all of you) but it’s been interesting to see them grow from a demonstration of a formal art project (as they were at their first gig, in the Custard Factory theatre space at Supersonic 2005. Fans of pointless trivia will be delighted to hear that their set was shortened due to a bomb scare) to a rockin’ groovin’ band.

2) Beverley Knight

Another famous one and I apologise for that, but Our Bev is just ace. How she dashes about on stage with such abandon whilst wearing heels so high is a mystery. You’ve probably heard some of her songs on the wireless but if that’s all then you won’t be prepared for how fantastically high-energy her gigs are.

1) Mistress

Sludge/grind metallers of rare and incredibly potent strength. I’m serious about ‘rare’ – you simply don’t often encounter bands with as much oomph as Mistress. Appropriate tribute was paid by Johnny Bounds of Birmingham: It’s Not Shit – “I sat sipping a can of Tennents and was scared shitless by their sheer power”.

0) The Destroyers

Number zero and best. It really seems so clear and obvious to me that they’re the best band of recent times, never mind best local band of recent times. Balkan/gypsy/fiddler-on-the-roof oom-pa-pa makes up the base of it all, but they’re willing to combine that with seemingly anything (Italian folk, funk, bhangra, hip-hop, something from a Hammer Horror soundtrack – if you can name it, they’ve probably had a stab at it at some point). They’re one of the most fantastic live bands you’ll ever see. Paul Murphy’s voice is like chocolate whisky. They wear ludicrous hats. They are The Bestest and this can be Proven With Science.

1) A government department has a particular job to do.

2) This job is contracted out to a private firm, for no obvious reason beyond the fact that this is the sort of thing that apparently has to be done nowadays.

3) The private firm find themselves unable to devote the manpower needed to do it properly (or perhaps – a cynic might say – choose not to devote the manpower needed to do it properly because they know they’ll easily get away with it in this “private good, public bad” world).

4) The original public body ends up having to assign staff to help out the private firm that is still being paid public money to do the job.

Sweet baby Jesus and all the angels. Thatcher couldn’t have imagined it even in her most excitable of dreams.

I’m sure there must be lots more lovely Christmas stuff, but I can’t seem to find very much of it. Nuts to New Year. This is the West Midlands, not Scotland.

Standard disclaimers: I can’t ensure that these events will go ahead, that they’ll be good, or that I will be going to them. This is just a list of things I found that looked like they might be interesting, so please do not contact me to ask for your event to be included. That’s not the way it works.

Until Saturday the 6th of Feb – “George’s Marvellous Medicine” (Birmingham Stage Company) @ The Old Rep, Birmingham – Mixing up everything in your medicine cabinet is not recommended at home, kids. Unless you’re genuinely thirsty.

Until Saturday the 9th of January – “A Christmas Carol” (Birmingham Rep Theatre Company) @ The Rep Theatre, Birmingham – Seems fair to me to say that “Marley was dead: to begin with” is the second greatest opening line in all of literature.

Between Tuesday the 1st and Saturday the 19th – A whole tonne of Capsule stuff to celebrate ten years of ‘em @ various venues in Brum – There’s loads of stuff. I’ll list the lot (and just link to their event pages) for the sake of completeness, so this doesn’t mean I’m seriously recommending SunnO)))~!111: Monotonix, Esquilax, Beestung Lips and Cum Dogs at Vivid in Digbeth on the 1st; Tunng, Six Organs Of Admittance, Lightning Dust And Bella Emerson at the Town Hall on the 2nd (this is the one I’m most looking forward to); Lightning Bolt, Tweak Bird and Pete Prescription at Vivid on the 8th; Sunno)))}}}]]] and Om at The Asylum in Hockley on the tenth; Pram and Light Trap at Vivid on the 11th; a free afternoon film showing at Vivid on the 13th with a buffet and pictures provided by 7 Inch Cinema; Beak, Einstellung and Thought Forms at Vivid on the 16th (Edit: That one is cancelled. Poo.); some sort of evening social or suchlike at Vivid on the 17th; and a final partay with Modified Toy Orchestra, PCM, Calvados Beam Trio, Una Corda and Stinky Wizzleteat at Vivid on the 19th. You owe me a pint if I’ve managed to put all of those links in without cocking up the code at all. (EDIT: There’s also one in association with Heat And Light at Vivid on the night of the 13th, with Sudden Infant and Nic Bullen).

Tuesday the 1st – Alice Cooper @ The Civic Hall, Wolverhampton – Giving a golf seminar, perhaps.

Thursday the 3rd till Saturday the 12th (but not the 7th) – Aston Hall By Candlelight @ Aston Hall, Aston, Birmingham – This year themed around the Victorian household entertaining a royal visitor.

Thursday the 3rd till Saturday the 5th – “The Just Price Of Flowers” (Stan’s Café) @ A.E. Harris, Jewellery Quarter, Birmingham – Inspired by Brecht, but not actually one of his (apparently there has been some confusion). Parallels are drawn between modern-day financial nuttery and 17th century Dutch tulip nuttery.

Friday the 4th – Chris Addison @ The Wulfrun Hall, Wolverhampton – Ollie Ollie Ollie, Oi Oi Oi.

Various dates between Saturday the 5th and Saturday the 19th – Verdi’s “Othello” (Birmingham Opera Company) @ The Argyle Works, Bordesley, Birmingham – Birmingham Opera Company’s version of “Idomeneo” last year was greater than great can be. Judging by the postcode, the venue for this should be somewhere in the general vicinity of here.

Friday the 5th – Frank Sidebottom @ The Wulfrun Hall, Wolverhampton – Fantastic showbusiness.

Saturday the 5th – Boxing (dunno who’s promoting) @ The Hilton Hotel, Coventry – Including Max “Max” Maxwell vs Martin Concepcion, in what must be Max’s 381,789th Midlands area title match (EDIT: or 4th, if you want to be boring and accurate).

Sunday the 6th – Madball @ Busk, Birmingham – Hardcore for tuphguyzzz. I will forever maintain that “Droppin’ Many Suckers” is one of the greatest names that anyone ever has called and ever could call an album.

Monday the 7th – The Unthanks @ The Wulfrun Hall, Wolverhampton – North-Eastern folkifiers formerly known as “Rachel Unthank And The Winterset”. I’m glad they’ve changed their name. OtherUnthankSister didn’t outwardly appear to do any less than Rachel, so it’s fairer this way.

Tuesday the 8th – Jodi Ann Bickley @ The Hare & Hounds, Kings Heath, Birmingham – Interesting and endearing poetry, happening at the same time as the ’Freestyle’ photography exhibiton.

Wednesday the 9th – Alexander O’Neal @ The Civic Hall, Wolverhampton – Or rather “80s soul nuisance Alexander O’Neal”, as the in-joke that you won’t get has it.

Wednesday the 9th – Seth Lakeman @ The Wulfrun Hall, Wolverhampton – Frequently fancied fiddler fascinates folks (with) folk.

Wednesday the 9th – The Bookhouse Boys @ The Hare & Hounds, Kings Heath, Birmingham – Like Tindersticks on holiday in Hawaii, or somesuch.

Wednesday the 9th – “Arc” (with Graft) @ The Vaults, Jewellery Quarter, Birmingham – The first of a new monthly art night, with a different set of artists each time. Here ‘Graft’ (whoever they might be) will bring a Jewellery-with-other-meanings exhibition from “The Institute Of Meaningful Interaction” and artist Mark Baldwin appearing as part of the structure of the building. Apparently. All very vague as a result of the fact that no sod seems to have a web presence because… I don’t know why not. I love The Vaults, though, it’s a great place.

Thursday the 10th – Madness @ The Academy, Birmingham – Mavva Brahn’s got her knees up, presumably in the process of skanking. This one is (unsurprisingly) sold out, but they’re also at The Civic on the 17th.

Friday the 11th – “Resistance, Revolt, Rebellion: A Double Bill of Civil Disobedience” (Kindandgenerous Productions and Emma Purshouse) @ The Arena Theatre, Wolverhampton – In Love And Taxes, current Brum poet laureate Adrian Johnson and Jessi of Eastfield bring songs and stories recalling the popular opposition to the poll tax. In “Are You Sitting Comfortably?”, Emma Purshouse tell poems of “rebellion, revolution and armchair inactivism”.

Sunday the 13th – Basement Jaxx @ The Civic Hall, Wolverhampton – Let’s all have a disco, let’s all have a disco.

Sunday the 13th – Depeche Mode @ The LG Arena, Marston Green, Birmingham – A band who I’d say have been quite the unsung influence on quite a fair bit of music in recent years.

Tuesday the 15th – Public Image Limited @ The Academy, Birmingham – Given that my LOTTSADITWM often feature metal and boxing, it seems only too apt that a band who put out an album called “Metal Box” should be in here. Also: post-punk legends, Country Life butter etc.

Wednesday the 16th till Sunday the 20th – “The Snow Queen” (Screamingvoiceyouththeatre) @ The Arena Theatre, Wolverhampton – Screamingvoice etc.etc. are absolutely ace, they really are.

Wednesday the 16th – Nile @ The Wulfrun Hall, Wolverhampton – Ancient Egyptian themed death metal, and I can’t see how you could possibly think that isn’t the best idea ever. Nothing I’ve ever heard by them is quite as good as the concept, but Krisiun are on the bill too and they’ll blow your earwax free (I mean that in a good way).

Wednesday the 16th – The Pogues @ The Academy, Birmingham – [Slur]Dirty old Towwwwwwwwwwn…[/slur]

Friday the 18th until Friday the 9th of January – Funworld @ The NEC, Marston Green, Birmingham – I don’t see how anyone could dislike a world of fun. It’s a huge indoor funfair (including, apparently, a “300ft bungee slingshot”. Indoors, I’ll repeat with vague concern) and has to win the all-time title for “event I’ve been handed the largest number of the same flyer for”.

Saturday the 21st – The Beat’s xmas party @ The Asylum, Hockley, Birmingham – 30 years since they started, apparently (see also the 27th).

Monday the 21st – The Wildhearts @ The Wulfrun Hall, Wolverhampton – My unbroken run of not managing to see any Wildhearts or Wildhearts-related gigs since 2001 will definitely continue here. They’re still ace though.

Monday the 21st – Musical Youth @ The Hare & Hounds, Kings Heath, Birmingham – Don’t take the mick, you know which way you need to pass it.

Wednesday the 23rd until Sunday the 3rd of January – “The Gruffalo (Tall Stories) @ The Town Hall, Birmingham – They had The Gruffalo plodding along as part of the Reindeer Parade in town recently. I thought he was cute.

Friday the 25th – IT’S CHRIIISTMUUUUUUS!

Sunday the 27th – Drongos For Europe’s xmas party @ the Asylum, Hockley, Birmingham – 30 years since they started, apparently (see also the 21st).

(Idea yoinked from Culture And Anarchy).

1) Grab the nearest book;
2) Open it to page 56;
3) Find the fifth sentence; and,
4) Post the text of the sentence along with these instructions.

The nearest book was Linsey Hanley’s “Estates” (borrowed from Our Louise and resting in the pocket of my coat on the back of my chair), which I’m glad indeed to have read (well… very very nearly finished. The bus tonight will do for it). It’s an exploration of the world of council housing in Britain: of the stigma now attached to what was once (briefly) one of this country’s prouder achievements, and of the ‘walls in the head’ that arise from shutting people off in an isolated and un-mantained area before going on to tell them that they’re some kind of failure for having to live there.

The definition of ‘sentence’ in the instructions is perhaps more ambiguous than one might have expected: I’d have assumed it meant ‘the fifth sentence on the page”, but the abovelinked post that I got this from appears to read it as the fifth line down the page (I say ‘appears’ – theirs is a Tolkein book, so who bleedin’ well knows). (EDIT: Woah there Nelly, it’s been all a-changed).

If, then, the former:

“The LCC’s actions would still have lasting significance in that it was the first example of the state, operating at a local level, stepping in to do what once only charities, The Church and philanthropists had been prepared to do.”

Although if the latter:

“…slum had been demolished, never to be replaced.”

These may not be the most spectacular excerpts (it’s not dryly written at all, nor is it a purely historical account. There’s a lot of personal material about her own experiences in Chelmsley Wood and Tower Hamlets) but it is nevertheless an amazing book that everyone should read.

Everyone should also do this meme. This is my idea of fun.

So let us talk about what this is and what this isn’t. This is a list of things due to happen that I’ve heard about and that I think look like they could be good. This is not some proper arts listing or gig guide that you can submit your events to. Cool? Cool.

Standard disclaimers (y’know, the ones that appear here every month that you would have thought were sufficient to render the previous paragraph unnecessary): I can’t ensure that these events will go ahead, that they’ll be good, or that I will be going to them. This is just a list of things I found that looked like they might be interesting, so please do not contact me to ask for your event to be included. That’s not the way it works.

Until Monday the 30th – Shout Festival @ venues all over Brum – I don’t know what Pride is if this is (as claimed) Brum’s first dedicated LGBT festival but there’s plenty a-happening, mostly theatre and sport: line-up here.

Up until Sunday the 8th, but not including Monday the 2nd – “Eat Your Heart Out” (Kindle Theatre) @ The A. E. Harris Building, Jewellery Quarter, Birmingham – Three cooks create a meal at the end of the world. A play including music and food for the audience (I think. Not 100% sure about that).

Sunday the 1st – The Bad Shepherds @ The Glee Club, Birmingham – Along with everyone else who was present at the Sunday of Moseley Folk this year, I absolutely adore their version of “All Around My Hat”.

Wednesday the 4th till Sunday the 8th – “The Event” @ various venues in Digbeth, Birmingham – Or rather a series of events. I like the sound of pigeon loft themed content at The Rea Garden.

Thursday the 5th till Saturday the 7th – Flip Animation Festival @ The Light House, Wolverhampton – With all sorts of animatory and computer gamery fun happening. You can even have a go yourself.

Thursday the 5th – Steve Earle @ The Town Hall, Birmingham – Doing a set dedicated to Townes Van Zandt. I’m told he was on fantastic form in Derby last month.

Friday the 6th till Sunday the 8th – Hellfire Festival @ The NEC, Marston Green, Birmingham – With Saxon, Fields Of The Nephilim, My Dying Bride, Anathema, Katatonia, Blakfish and a load more. #MetalNovember and I suppose a bit #GothNovember too.

Friday the 6th – Clutch @ The Academy 2, Birmingham – Real Maryland Rock and that’s all there is to it. There are a few gigs on this night, though. (EDIT: Oh me oh my it appears that Kylesa are also on the bill. #MetalNovember).

Friday the 6th – Alabama 3 @ The Academy, Birmingham – See? London cowboys, anyway, and I’m not talking about cockney builders.

Friday the 6th – Beverley Knight @ The Civic Hall, Wolverhampton – Yampy soulstress of high repute. Another victim of The Great Friday The 6th Gig Clash, but she is also at Symphony Hall in Brum on Monday the 23rd.

Saturday the 7th – Femme Metal Festival @ The Asylum, Hockley, Birmingham – Will it be challenging or reinforcing stereotypes? I’m never cynical as you know Ted. #MetalNovember.

Saturday the 7th – Damien Jurado @ The Hare & Hounds, Kings Heath, Birmingham – “If you tear down the dancehall places / Where’re we gonna see the beautiful faces?” he asks through the medium of swirly psychedelia. It’d probably be more apt for him to play in Digbeth than Kings Heath.

Sunday the 8th – Bill Bailey’s Remarkable Guide To The Orchestra @ The Town Hall, Birmingham – This promises to tell us what bassoon players are secretly obsessed with, and I for one would like to know.

Monday the 9th till Saturday the 14th – “Mrs Warren’s Profession” (Bath Theatre Royal) @ The Rep, Birmingham – George Bernard Shaw comedy, starring Felicity Kendall. Hopefully she’ll bring that pet bird of hers that flies around the outside of a flower while light music plays.

Monday the 9th and Tuesday the 10th – The Specials @ The Civic Hall, Wolverhampton – Definitely looking like we’re getting towards our last chances to see them, now.

Monday the 9th – VV Brown @ The Academy 2, Birmingham – Poppy garage soul’n’roll. Really fun, going on the few songs I’ve heard.

Tuesday the 10th – The New Beautiful South @ The Academy 3, Birmingham – I actually liked The Old Beautiful South, now you come to mention it.

Tuesday the 10th – Woods / Espers / The Cave Singers @ The Hare & Hounds, Kings Heath, Birmingham – Folk rockin’ (head knockin’ quick droppin’, they laugh ‘cos they mastered the craft etc).

Wednesday the 11th – The Drones @ The Hare & Hounds, Kings Heath, Birmingham – Were bloody amazing at the same venue in June. Wouldn’t give a Castlemaine XXXX for anything else.

Thursday the 12th and Friday the 13th – “The Waiting Room” (Other People’s Shoes Theatre Company) @ The Old Joint Stock, Birmingham – Three actresses wait together for their separate auditions. This sounds to me like the tradition of a play within a play, only it’s not actually in the play.

Thursday the 12th – Beyonce @ The NIA, Birmingham – The most famous person I’ve ever actually met. And that includes Pato Banton.

Thursday the 12th – Sham 69 @ The Robin 2, Bilston – Although apparently Jimmy Pursey isn’t in the band anymore.

Thursday the 12th – Worriedaboutsatan @ Ikon Eastside, Digbeth, Birmingham – Electronic/groovy-glitch types playing a gig in the name of the end of Ryoji Ikeda’s installation, through which he considers the nature of data between 0 and 1.

Friday the 13th – Einstellung @ The Flapper, Birmingham – Local Krautrocky repeatalots, and very good they are too. (EDITED: I originally had this on the 12th, presumably because I am a dur-brain. Ta to Big Dave C in the comments).

Friday the 13th – Deep Purple @ The LG Arena, Marston Green, Birmingham – DER DER DERRN, DER DER DERN-NERRN (#MetalNovember).

Friday the 13th – Martha Tilston @ The Glee Club, Birmingham – Folkstress with some fantastic album titles (I cannot find any fault at all with “Mouse Tales” or “Of Milkmaids And Architects”).

Saturday the 14th till Sunday the 22nd – The Grand Slam Of Darts @ The Civic Hall, Wolverhampton – And Bully’s SPECIAL PRIIIIIIIIIZZZE…

Saturday the 14th – “Culture Jam” @ Moor Straight Station Wine Bar (I did not know that such a thing did or could exist) and Volt Warehouse, Digbeth, Birmingham – Anglo-Lithuanian arts and music and fun. Now there’s a sentence you don’t get to say every day.

Sunday the 15th – “Celebrating Darwin: Is Human Evolution Over?” with Steve Jones (the biologist, not the one from the Sex Pistols) @ The Town Hall, Birmingham – The response that leaps to mind is “Eh? What makes you think that it even possibly might be?”, but then again I haven’t heard what he actually has to say.

Sunday the 15th – The Christmas Reindeer Parade @ Birmingham City Centre – Santa with his reindeer, a-parading. We’re also promised lanterns and marching bands.

Monday the 16th – Joe Lally @ The Hare & Hounds, Kings Heath, Birmingham – Your man there from Fugazi. Mentioning ‘Fugazi’ is not, as some would have it, some sort of assertion of elitist superiority. It’s just a question of them being the band he’s in, y’get’me?

Wednesday the 18th – “Hearts And Minds” (The Drum & Khayaal Theatre Company) @ The Drum, Newtown, Birmingham – There was another play called “Hearts And Minds” around here not so long ago, but this isn’t the same one. In this, young Asif is forced to contemplate to whom or what he feels loyal to.

Thursday the 19th – Slayer @ The Academy, Birmingham – Slayaaaaaarrrgh. #MetalNovember.

Friday the 20th – Alec Empire @ Busk, Birmingham – At! Ar! Ee! Tee! Nage! Riot! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!

Saturday the 21st – The Supreme Cat Show @ The NEC, Marston Green, Birmingham – It’ll be a bit like this, I imagine.

Saturday the 21st – Junius @ The Flapper, Birmingham – Pinchin’-from-the-80s atmospheric indie-rock, but a touch (only a touch, lets not go mad) less obvious about it than your Editors and your The Horrorses and your Interpols and whatnot. Not that I dislike any of those.

Sunday the 22nd – The Pantomime Horse Grand National @ Birmingham City Centre – Stick a fiver each way on Airbiscuit, if he’s running this year.

Wednesday the 25th then all the way till Saturday the 9th of January – “A Christmas Carol” (Birmingham Rep Theatre Company) @ The Rep, Birmingham – By far the thing I’ve seen the most different versions of over the years, between stage and screen. I doubt I’m alone in that. The Muppets were the best, obviously.

Wednesday the 25th – Skunk Anansie @ The Civic Hall, Wolverhampton – A band who aren’t exactly forgotten but (I think) deserve to be remembered a lot more widely than they currently are. Or were. Looks like they’re back together now.

Friday the 25th – Chuck Berry And His American Band @ The Alexandra Theatre, Birmingham – That’s how it’s advertised. A shame, really: I’d always thought he sounded his best when with his Estonian band. It’s Chuck Berry, anyway, I’m sure I don’t need to describe him.

Friday the 27th – Dio @ The Academy, Birmingham – Surely the most #MetalNovember of them all.

Friday the 27th and Saturday the 28th – “Tales Of Terror” (Happiness Patrol) @ The Old Joint Stock, Birmingham – Spooky stories from the theatre company that did an absolutely amazing version of Poe’s “The Masque Of The Red Death” last year.

Friday the 27th – Steeleye Span @ The Town Hall, Birmingham (no proper website as far as I can find, sorry) – Well, they’re no Bad Shepherds (see 1st), but their version of “All Around My Hat” is quite good too.

Friday the 27th – Discharge @ The Wagon & Horses, Digbeth, Birmingham – Not quite part of #MetalNovember, but there’s certainly some overlap.

Friday the 27th – The Heavy @ The Rainbow, Digbeth, Birmingham – Indie-hop-soul. Or somesuch.

Friday the 27th – Boxing (First Team Promotions) @ The Tower Ballroom, Edgbaston, Birmingham – First Team promoting at The Tower Ballroom seems to have been done deliberately to confuse me. At the time of writing it’s said to be Neil Perkins, Rob Hunt, Chris Truman, Nasser Al Harbi and Ben Wilkes all against the feared TBA. First Team then also have a doings at The Venue in Dudley the following night, with Alex Strutt, Jamie Ball, Richard Ghent, Dean Anderson, Spencer Evans and Rob Doodie all also against the dreaded TBA (once again as advertised at the time of writing).

Sunday the 29th – Motorhead / The Damned / Girlschool @ The Civic Hall, Wolverhampton – Motorhead tend to try to get around the fact that they’ve been playing near enough exactly the same set for FIVE HUNDRED YEARS by always having a good supporting line-up. This does, by and large, work. P.S. #MetalNovember.

Sunday the 29th – A @ The Academy 2, Birmingham – 90s Britrock sorts who never seemed to get quite as big as quite a lot of their contemporaries. Nowadays I would put that down to them having such a pain-in-the-arse name for search engines.

Sunday the 29th – Thea Gilmore @ The Glee Club, Birmingham – Last time I saw her she thought Wolverhampton and Bilston were the same place, but I suppose we shouldn’t hold that against her forever.

Monday the 30th – Regina Spektor @ The Academy, Birmingham – Like a young Tori Amos, only a bit Russian.

This has gone in the “Do Not Use These Companies” category as that’s probably the closest I have, although I wouldn’t really push it quite that far. I’m not suggesting this is worth anyone cancelling their subscription for (at least partly ‘cos I don’t seriously imagine any of the other providers would be all that much better), but it’s something that’s definitely worth knowing about if you’re a customer of Virgin Media. Forewarned is forearmed, and so forth.

Our internet went off on Tuesday morning (or was it Wednesday? One of the two), giving us nothing but “Page Cannot Be Displayed” messages in the customary fashion (even after the similarly customary turn-it-off-at-the-plug-and-see-what-happens-when-you-reboot technical wizardry). We rang up and were told that it was an area problem and would be alright within a few hours. This turned out to be true.

On Friday morning it was bost again. This time when we rang up we were told that it wasn’t an area problem, and that there must be something wrong with our modem or router or whatever. An engineer was booked to come to our house between 8am and 12 noon the following day.

I stayed in. Fortunately I didn’t have anything particularly important to do (although I did want to go down the shops). No-one had turned up by 12 (I somehow doubt you’re surprised to hear that) and so I tried ringing Virgin, but got fed up after sitting on hold for over 15 minutes.

There was still no-one by 3pm. I phoned again, waiting about 15 minutes but this time getting through. It seems that by this point they’d decided that it was in fact an area problem, and that the engineer’s trip to us had been cancelled so that they could send him to wherever they go to fix area problems. If you don’t leave a mobile number when the appointment is booked, however, it’s their policy not to contact you.

They had our landline number (it’s with them, for pity’s sake) but they don’t ring landlines and only send texts. They choose not to tell you that you don’t need to stay in for their representative if you don’t make it convenient for them. The process seems to run thusly: 1) You pay your bill; 2) you don’t get what you’re paying for; 3) they ask you to stay at home; 4) they change their mind but only tell you if you make life easy for them.

Astonishing. You know about it now though, anyway. I’m not sure how this information will help you if you don’t have a mobile or don’t like giving the number out or have whatever other reason not to obey their whims, but at least you know.

Ah, nuts. I was going to get right on top of this and post about it straight away. I suppose a month late isn’t tooooo bad by my present standards.

So, anyway…

The 02 née Carling Birmingham Academy has relocated itself (as most of the people likely to be reading this will already know) to the building that was formerly called “The Dome” and prior to that “The Big Night Out”. This is a measure that couldn’t possibly hurt – the old one was arguably the least likeable enclosed space in the Midlands, including prisons and such (although few will have noticed that I’ve been known to point that out before. Cough). Massive Attack were playing at the new effort on Wednesday the 23rd of September, and so that became my chance to experience the freshness. It’s very much a shame that this meant missing Theo playing in Kings Heath on the same night, but there we go. I didn’t come to earth to save you all without expecting some degree of necessary martyrdom.

Well then… it’s probably a bit better, although – as Ze Baron accurately pointed out – “a second hand septic tank would be a great improvement on the previous place”. I didn’t go up onto the balcony, so all of my observations are based on the ground floor of the main room, but if we take that as a given:
~ It looks marginally nicer, but it’s still ugly. It’s a big empty room with no endearing features.
~ There is a little bit more in the way of places to sit. Not a lot more, but definitely some (and I’m given to understand there’s loads of seats in the upstairs balcony bit that I didn’t visit).
~ It hadn’t even been open for a fortnight by this point and the floor (both the carpeted and dancefloor parts) was already even stickier than the (bad enough) one at the last place.
~ The bar staff seemed happier but the security blokes were still all a-screwface.
~ It’s wider than it is long, and this made it difficult to find a path across from one side of the room to another – the crowd in front of the stage stretched back far enough to meet the crowd of folks trying to get to the back wall bars.
~ With a change of premises and a previously unacknowledged change of owners, I decided to experiment to see if The Official Longstanding (And Very Important, Me Not Buying Drinks Will Bring Them To Their Knees, You Just Wait And See) Academy Drinks Boycott could be lifted. Well… it’s now £3.60 for Carlsberg, which is obviously ridiculously dear but (sadly) doesn’t seem excessive for a place like this. This should be taken as a condemnation of places-like-this in general rather than any kind of mitigation. It didn’t taste as clearly/obviously watered down as pints I’ve had from The Academy in the past have been, but new place is new and could still be making a special effort to impress. Maybe the official boycott is over (not sure yet) but I’m definitely not going to be buying a lot of drinks there.

I suppose I should probably say something about the bands while I’m here. Support came from Martina Topley-Bird (that’s the first time I’ve ever been able to avoid referring to her as “that Martina Topley bird” and will quite probably also be the last), who was suffering from not-so-great sound although I’ve heard plenty worse in my time. Some of her backing was really nice – mostly dreamy floaty sounds, sometimes more rhythmic and energetic. Her own singing, though, didn’t come across as well – she seemed to mostly be going for ‘sultry’ but ending up with ‘disinterested’. There were definitely some nice ideas in some of the beats, though, and she definitely built up some goodwill from me even if it rarely all came together and worked as well as it might have done.

If you’d asked me to make a list of the best bands of the last couple of decades then I might well have forgotten to include Massive Attack, which would have been very stupid of me. This would have been a stupid omission, though, and this fgig only confirmed that. Think about it for a minute: “Unfinished Sympathy”, “Safe From Harm” and “Angel” will do on their own, all of which we got to hear at this. You can then add “Protection” (which they didn’t do) and “Teardrop” (which That Martina Topley-Bird sang at this gig. I’m not saying she did a terrible job, but I know Liz Fraser and she’s no Liz Fraser) and I’m sure that’s enough for any band.

They sounded as you’d expect, anyway. That’s no bad thing.

I mentioned “Angel” back then, and yes: it was voiced by Horace Andy, as were a few other songs. I recall seeing him at The Custard Factory a few years ago and feeling really glad about it – not only was it great, but it also seemed like a chance to see a legendary artist that I probably wouldn’t get very many chances in my life to see. Here, naturally, he ambled onstage barely announced and even less heralded. The cognitive dissonance was soon drowned out by awesome basslines, but it was still strange.

Their backing (LED or LED-look) images were interesting – revolutionary/independence lovin’ quotes, prices of essentials compared to things found on MP expences claims, and (most disquietingly) commercial airline flights justaposed with flightpaths used to move extraordinary rendition prisoners.

Fantastic stuff as far as the gig went, anyway. In terms of the new Academy… well, not quite as bad, but we’ll see if it deteriorates. Or maybe it’ll even improve. Doesn’t seem likely, but you never know.

It’d really make a lot more sense if October was the eight month rather than the tenth, wouldn’t it? Oh well.

Standard disclaimers: I can’t ensure that these events will go ahead, that they’ll be good, or that I will be going to them. This is just a list of things I found that looked like they might be interesting, so please do not contact me to ask for your event to be included. That’s not the way it works. (EDIT: This paragraph is not some obscure joke. It actually means what it says. By all means add me to your mailing list or whatever-have-you, but sending me a message that specifically asks for your function to be posted on here will not lead to it being posted on here).

Thursday the 1st – An Evening With Joan Baez @ Symphony Hall, Birmingham – The evening they drove ol’ Dixie down.

Friday the 2nd till Sunday the 11th – Birmingham Comedy Festival @ various venues in Brum – Part of the grand Birmingham tradition of grouping together a bunch of events that would most likely have happened anyway and calling it a festival. There are still, no doubt, many chuckles and guffaws to be had – checky here for the line-up.

Friday the 2nd – Zu @ The Rainbow, Digbeth, Birmingham – I-talian jazzy metally… I dunno, just bloody lunacy. They were ace at Supersonic.

Saturday the 3rd – Boxing (Warrior Promotions) @ The Holiday Inn, Birmingham – Presumably a dinner show (boo hiss etc). The latest chapter in the ongoing Birmingham vs Black Country derby takes place here, with Eddie McIntosh vs Quinton “Greatest Name Ever” Hillocks.

Sunday the 4th – Kickboxing and MMA (Eclipse) @ Oceana, Wolverhampton – FC kickboxing and amateur MMA, I believe.

Sunday the 4th – Frank Carson @ The Town Hall, Birmingham – It’s the way he tells ‘em.

Monday the 4th – Boxing (Pat Cowdell) @ The Holiday Inn, Birmingham – Another dinner show (boo hiss etc).

Tuesday the 6th till Thursday the 29th – The Birmingham Book Festival @ various venues in Birmingham – This one actually isn’t as per the description of the comedy festival as above. The line-up can be seen here; there are plenty of highlights, including a discussion with the Tindall Street Press Booker Prize nominees on the 8th, talks about David Foster Wallace’s “Infinite Jest” (timely. More soon) and Will Self on the 17th, a thing about J.B. Priestley’s “English Journey” (with his son and, erm, Stuart Maconie. Isn’t he the fella from all of those Channel Four “I Love The Whatsit”/”Top One Hundred Whatsitcalled” programmes?) on the 23rd, and Karen Armstrong speaking about her new “The Case For God” on the 29th.

Wednesday the 7th till Sunday the 11th – Horse Of The Year Show @ The LG Arena, Marston Green, Birmingham – Neigh, neigh and thrice neigh.

Thursday the 8th – Lethal Bizzle @ The Academy 2, Birmingham – Bring some beef you lose some teef POW POW.

Friday the 9th – Boxing (First Team Promotions) @ The Venue, Dudley – I still have no idea where “The Venue” is.

Sunday the 11th – An Afternoon With Pam Ayres @ Symphony Hall, Birmingham – The afternoon they drove ol’ SouthofEngland down.

Sunday the 11th – The Destroyers / The Old Dance School / The Toy Hearts @ The Town Hall, Birmingham – Three of the finest local fun-folk/trad sorts, playing as part of The Town Hall’s 175th anniversary. The Destroyers are obviously the best band ever and you mustn’t say otherwise.

Monday the 12th – Echo & The Bunnymen @ The Wulfrun Hall, Wolverhampton – The band that actually could cut the mustard.

Friday the 16th and Saturday the 17th – “The Idiot Colony” (Red Cape Theatre) @ The Rep Door, Birmingham – A group of women are offered some respite from their confinement in a brutal asylum when they get to talk to each other in the hair salon. Based on true accounts.

Friday the 16th – “Revenger’s Tragedy” (Jadis Shadows theatre company) @ The Arena Theatre, Wolverhampton – With murder and incest and scandal in general. Also on at The Old Rep in Brum the following night and Hall Green Little Theatre (new to me) on the 23rd and 24th.

Saturday the 17th – Dizzee Rascal @ The Academy, Birmingham – There really is very little that’s more fun than saying “bonkers” in a deep voice. Try it right now and you’ll see what I mean.

Tuesday the 20th till Saturday the 31st – “The Grapes Of Wrath” (English Touring Theatre/Chichester Festival Theatre) @ The Rep Theatre, Birmingham – Waitin’ on the ghost of Tom Joad.

Wednesday the 21st – Therapy? @ The Wulfrun Hall, Wolverhampton – I’m still no closer to figuring it out: how many question marks does one use if asking a question in which the last word is the band name Therapy??

Wednesday the 21st – The Tennessee Three @ The Jam House, Jewellery Quarter, Birmingham – Not actually backing Johnny Cash here, for obvious reasons. Luther probably won’t be playing the boogie woogie here either, for similarly obvious reasons.

Friday the 23rd – Morrissey @ Symphony Hall, Birmingham – I don’t think he’s miserable at all, I reckon it’s all just a show.

Saturday the 24th and Sunday the 25th – Spandau Ballet @ The LG Arena, Marston Green, Birmingham – No, they are playing there. It’s (wait for it, wait for it) TRUE.

Sunday the 25th – Editors @ The Civic Hall, Wolverhampton – I still think “Snowfield” was a better name for them, but there you go.

Monday the 26th – The Proclaimers @ Symphony Hall, Birmingham – I don’t think they’re Scottish at all, I reckon it’s all just a show.

Tuesday the 27th – ZZ Top @ The Civic Hall, Wolverhampton – Ah come on now. You’re looking at me as though this needs explaining.

Tuesday the 27th – Billy Talent @ The Academy, Birmingham – Good quality Canadian melodic punk/emo types, and I just now see that apparently they were originally called “Pezz”. Do you remember those “Pez” sweeties, with their own little dispenser-type-things? They were ace. I recall having one with Goofy’s head on. So, anyway, Billy Talent.

Wednesday the 28th till Saturday the 31st – “Dreams Of Violence” (Out Of Joint/Soho Theatre) @ The Rep Door, Birmingham – Political activism (I can’t help but think of the “blowing up a panda” joke from ‘The Young Ones’ every time I hear that phrase) comes easier than a messy homelife for the main character of this play.

Thursday the 29th – Efterklang @ The Asylum, Jewellery Quarter, Birmingham – A Danish band who make music that sounds more beautiful live than you can imagine, and I’m assuming you’re someone with a fantastic imagination. Go to this.

Thursday the 29th – Marc Almond @ The Alexandra Theatre, Birmingham – Probably the best pop star named after a nut since Johnny Cashew. Or Slipknut.

Friday the 30th and Saturday the 31st – “The Houdini Exposure” (Little Earthquake theatre) @ The Arena Theatre, Wolverhampton – Know what I mean, ‘Arry. A dramatised version of his mission to expose séance Daniel Home as a fraud.

Just the Sunday (the sixth of September) of Mizoke Fizolk for me this year. Things started badly when it occurred to me that I’d forgotten to borrow The Annual Folk Festival Hat, but got better soon enough.

Moseley Park was as lovely as ever, and perhaps even seemed a bit more so due to layout changes: this year the side stage was over on the left as you look at it (where it was the first year, although still the bigger one they’ve used the last couple of times), and so we got a better view of the lake and its wildfowl. And, erm, the great big scary white balloons that looked uncannily like Rover from “The Prisoner”. There were clearly and obviously more punters than in previous years, but things never seemed crowded.

I’ll just mention the highlights, I think. Given that I’ve hardly written about anything at all that I’ve been to in the last six months I doubt I need to feel guilty here.

~ Wizz Jones: A legendary legend-like legend who is a legend that I hadn’t heard of in my life prior to this. Festivals of this nature always have such sorts. Laid-back folk and acoustic blues with lots of your finger-pickin’-good guitar, and really enjoyable. I especially liked his rendition of “King Of Rome” and think that there should be more songs about pigeon racing.

~ Hunter Robertson: Married a voice like an Appalachian bear burping after eating Tom Waits with some of that really fast clawhammer banjo stuff that sounds like music from a chase scene. This is all a very good thing.

~ Laura Louise: I made a point of heading over to the Bohemian Jukebox stage (the “slopey tent”, as LL had it. Extensive use was made of silver Lamé for décor, and I approve of this) for Laura Louise, having seen and liked her before with Carina ages ago, but I really wasn’t expecting her to be as good as this. Very, very nice use was made of a loop pedal (she felt the need to explain what it was, bless her, almost as though they’re not used by six out of every five solo artists going nowadays), a voice that you really wouldn’t expect if you just glanced at her (unfair as that may be), beatboxing, guitar-tapping for percussion, and what sounded like some really good songs at first listen. I must pay closer attention henceforth.

~ Bad Shepherds: Ade “Eddie” Edmonson’s band, playing (mostly) punk covers in a folk idiom. No mere joke band, either – they’re actually really good. Good enough for me to want them to have a better singer than Eddie, in fact, hilarious though he is. I really liked some of their versions, anyway: I thought “Down The Tube Station At Midnight”, “Against The Wall” and “Once In A Lifetime” all worked particularly well, although the highlight of the entire day was probably their take on the first verse of “All Around My Hat” (with no instrumentation, they all solemnly sang as one: “All around my hat/I shall wear the green willow/And all around my hat/For a twelve month and a day/And if anyone should ask me/The reason why I’m wearing it/Mind your fucking business/It’s my fucking hat”.)

~ Errrrrmmm: I popped over to The Prince Of Wales for a bit (all the green was burning itself into my vision. Also I fancied a change from the Purity ales, nice as they were) and saw a girl with blonde dreadlocks singing and guitaring, backed by a Destroyer on banjo and someone I’m sure I recognised from some band or other on fiddle. So, anyway, quite nice fun’n’frothy songs but I have absolutely no idea what her name was.

~ Mama Matrix: Ooh, I’d wanted to see these for ages but not quite managed it until this point. It seems as though history may condemn them to be known as Birmingham’s Other Gypsy/Balkan Band, although that’s not to be taken as any slight. They’re a lot more straightforward/song-based than *cough*, but lots of energetic fun nevertheless. Admittedly I was completely plastered by this point in the night.

~ Jethro Tull: Jethro Tull, eh? Blimey. Ian Anderson’s voice isn’t as clear as it once was (he now sounds like he has an extra mouth singing “hhhhhhhnnnnnn” at the same time as every word), but he does still stand on one leg to play the flute at times and clearly this is what’s important. The ‘Tull were great fun, and every bit as gloriously silly as you’d want. I’ve always liked their older/blues-rockier stuff more, but the stuff I like less sounded better live too (I also had to chuckle to myself when Ando proclaimed “Back To The Family” as the worst song he’d ever written. Stealth-self-aggrandisement indeed). And, y’know, he does still stand on one leg at times.

Supersonic 2009, 24th-26th of July (inclusive): I will recap this via three categories, I think.

The Good

~ Nisennenmondai (Saturday evening): Nisennenmondai did some sort of “Alice…” kinda thing where they’re tiny but start playing and it’s like they’ve eaten an “Eat Me” and grown by about four hundred miles. Either that or they just sounded really big. The best set of the festival, anyway, and they got the reception from the crowd to prove it. They live somewhere between Battles and Can with maybe a twist of Lightning Bolt too, creating a driving and constantly building instrumental sound. The nutty drummer makes a great contrast to the other two more demure types.

~ Theo (Sunday afternoon): Joint-second-best. Your man (on his Jack Jones) guitars for a bit, loops that, then slings the axe over his back and drums for a bit, before looping that etc etc. Eeeeeveryone is using loop pedals nowadays (I heard an ice-cream van layering it’s choons the other day. Or maybe I just wanted to, I forget) but it’s the quality that’s important, and this lad created a wonderfully intricate-and-detailed but still high-energy mathsrock business.

~ Earthless (Sunday evening): The other joint-second-best. They weren’t as Southern as I was expecting (I reckon I may have become confused between tracks on the Brumcast preview podcasts, although I’m not sure who that means I actually was thinking about. Someone I didn’t see, anyway). I’m hesitant to call them ‘stoner rock’ as others have, and will instead go with the “brutal psychedelia” appellation that a wise man suggested afterwards. Or something. Loooong songs with lots (and I really mean lots) of widdly-wah guitar, but all serving the purpose of taking you on an adventure into the heart of a rocking sun. Or something.

~ The catering situation: The food/drink provisions for the hungry/thirsty masses this year was better than one might ever have expected. The Hogan’s Organic Cider Crizzew were selling pints of their lovely apple beverage for £3 (dear, obviously, but not really all that obscene given that we’re at a festival-type-affair), and Purity (your young funky fresh real-ale that doesn’t market itself towards old men like other breweries who are all SQUARES anyway) had nearly-a-pint bottles available for £3.50. The generic kegged lager and cider from the main bars were £4 per pint, and thus only purchased by certain kinds of mor-ron, or perhaps those particularly and overwhelmingly committed to lager and lager alone (these probably aren’t the same thing, but may be). The Hogan’s was really nice though, you honestly should’ve tried it if you’re one of this lot who seem to be unhappy about having paid more for things that weren’t as good. The Thai food stall was nice if expensive (it doesn’t matter precisely what it is, if it’s served in a polystyrene tray then £5 is expensive for any kind of food. This was of course a lot nicer than practically anything else you’ll ever get in a polystyrene tray), and I can officially reveal to the world that a “100% Cornish BBQ” is in fact a burger/barbeque/etc stand that additionally-but-separately sells pasties and clotted cream. They don’t put them on the barbeque grill. They’re not certain kinds of mor-ron.

~ PCM (Friday night): UK drum’n’bass all in your face. A touch funkier and less head-wreckin’ than usual, I thought, with some squelchy rave-synth sounds that I don’t recall them using quite so much before. Great fun. I’m glad they didn’t use Bolt Throwerman again this time – that was fun at first but the novelty has run its course.

~ Tartufi (early Saturday evening): Hard indeed to describe, but worth the effort of checking out if you get the chance. Noisy pop, perhaps, marrying frequently-changing song structures to some really catchy hooks, and assortment of different instruments, loop pedals (yes, yes), and a ridiculously broad sound. Apparently they’re American. I thought someone had told me they were Belgian. They were probably on the verge of going into the ‘joint second best’ category with Earthless and Theo, but let down ever so slightly by occasionally trying a bit too tough to be ‘epic’ for their own good. Only occasionally, though.

~ Iron Lung (Saturday evening): I was amazed to learn that the band I saw supporting Municipal Waste in Dudley (“Doodley”, as they had it) last year are considered by many to be legends/really important. Quite good, anyway – fast shouty hardcore/grind (‘power violence’, if you will. Truly the most fantastic genre name this side of ‘krunk’), with inhumanly tight and precise stopping/starting/rhythm-changing. The singer-come-drummer is clearly a frustrated stand-up comedian, bless him.

~ Thorr’s Hammer (Saturday night): I wasn’t expecting a lot (oh, cynic), but I enjoyed them. Doomy huge riffs met a pleasingly happy onstage attitude, in contrast to the pomposity that so often attends this sort of thing. Runhild Gammelsæter (a dream of a name for a metal singer, it has to be said) was downright giggly, bless her heart. And also, yes: huge riffs.

~ Zu (Saturday night): I only saw the middle bit of their set, but it was bloody ace energetic jazz-rock sort of stuff, although that doesn’t really do them any justice at all as a description. Saxamophone, saxamaphone, with turbo-charged rhythms. I wished I’d stopped with them a bit longer, actually – in retrospect it would have been worth missing the start of Corrupted.

~ Corrupted (Saturday night): Dooooooom. Corrupted are one of those bands who are considered legends those who A) have heard of them, and B) are the sort of people likely to consider them legends. They sounded huge with a capital Hyoo. On the verge, perhaps, of overdoing it a touch with the post-rock style jangly guitar build-up bits (they never felt like anything more than a build-up, that was the trouble. If I’d been wearing a watch I would probably have checked it at times) but I suppose that when they kicked in the light & shade thing really did work. They did sound absolutely corruscating when hitting it, too. Bosting stuff and no doubt it’s an “Ah, yes, I saw Corrupted once…” tale to tell the doomster grandchildren.

~ Nancy Wallace (Sunday afternoon): I only arrived in time for her last song-and-a-half, but her voice & guitar and the (very attractive) violinist combined to make an absolutely lovely folksy sound.

~ Zzz (Sunday afternoon): A mix betwixt Depeche Mode, Suicide and Dead Or Alive. The chaos/noise bit they briefly had a stab at was absolutely and entirely unconvincing, but other than that they were great keyboardy fun.

~ Khyam Allami (early Sunday evening): Played traditionally-styled Syrian music on the oud (a bit like a lute? It makes that jruangly type of sound I associate with Middle Eastern music. “Jruangly” is a word I’ve just made up to describe that sound that sounds like “jruanglllle”). He seemed surprised but genuinely really happy to be well received, which was quite nice for all concerned. Then, he covered “Black Sabbath”. On the oud. Awesome.

~ The Memory Band (Sunday evening): Apparently they were playing “The Wicker Man” soundtrack, although I wouldn’t know since I’ve never seen it (yes, yes, we know, heresy and so on). Very effectively creepy nursery rhyme-ish folk, from my perspective.

~ Head Of David (Sunday night): Intriguing: their sound seemed to me to be closer to what would often be called noise-rock than what would often be called industrial, in spite of the fact that it was actually closer to the sort of panel-bashing rhythms that you’d associate with industry than it was to anything like free-form noise. Interesting semantic dissonance, ar kid – yow can tell they’m proppa folk from the Black Country like we.

~ Caribou (Sunday night): The last band, for me. They sounded absolutely nothing like the gentle psychedelia found on the recorded bits’n’bobs I heard, and were instead more like some energetic post-rock thing hopping up into big rhythmic drum freakouts. Good fun but I only saw a bit before needing to leave. A whole weekend o’tiredness was beginning to settle on me.

~ People: This is uncharacteristic for me, I realise, but I give shouts to the actual audience – firstly I didn’t have to negotiate too many unpleasantly dense crowds (no idea how many folk were there, but they were spread out a lot more nicely than they might have been) and secondly I bumped into a lot of lovely bredrins and sistrins who I hadn’t seen for ages/don’t see very often. Aaaw.

~ Boids: There was, of course, “There Are No Others…” (Or maybe there wasn’t. Weren’t. My head hurts. I suppose there was a titular absence of others, so “there was” is permissible) (see here, whichever way up) (anyway: BIRDS~!); there was also the bird-shaped-cushion I bought from one of the merchandise stalls to take back to Louise. I named him ‘Poultry’. He was later re-named ‘Percy’.

~ Bunny Bissoux’ “Petting Zoo” pictures: Really cute. I absolutely love the lion that you can see at the bottom-central-left here. I’m still claiming responsibility for giving Capsule the idea to have this made, too, whether or not the actual artist knows a thing about that (I suspect she probably doesn’t).

The Bad

~ Sunno))) (Friday night)))): When you can barely breathe for dry ice you know it’s time for Sunnoparenthesisification. Or a Sisters Of Mercy gig, perhaps. One of the two. I only watched a little bit before wondering off to see Scorn, admittedly, but after the intro tape had ended and their performance had started (figuring out the precise point at which this happens is not the easiest feat) they went “Buuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr” for the ten minutes or so I bothered with. As, obviously, is their custom. I think they could be interesting as a kind of endurance test if they actually were as loud as popular legend claims that they’re supposed to be, but on neither of the time-and-a-bits that I’ve sent them has this been the case (at least a couple of folks whose stuff I’ve read from the Collective Memory seem to have been carrying portable decibel meters and reckon that this hit that 130db-ish plane-taking-off range. I am as deaf as a post, admittedly, but that really doesn’t sound even approximately close to right to me))).

~ Diagonal (early Saturday evening): Erm, I know that I definitely saw at least some of their set but I don’t remember the slightest thing. I don’t recall them as specifically bad, but not making any impact at all can’t be a good thing.

~ Trying to keep the rain from falling into my cider whilst walking between stages on Sunday: A pain in the arse. The weather was OK otherwise, though.

~ Tiredness and aching: Clearly I am a complete and total Jessie.

~ Travelling by taxi: This was necessary for the journeys home on the first two nights. It’s not a cheap hobby.

~ Missing some of the bands that were worth seeing: I signed off Venetian Snares (who I would particularly have liked to see) and Monotonix as being casualties of playing in the middle of the morning, and now everybody seems to be saying they were particular highlights. Bah. I didn’t get around to getting my name down for the list-only Pram performance beforehand, either. Bah.

The Middling

~ Scorn (Friday night): Not as good as I wanted, but I think that may mostly have been due to me having the wrong kind of expectations – this was more of a ‘minimal electronics’ sort of affair than the thick swamp of dub that I was looking forward to. I spent a fair bit of the set chatting to The Infamous John Matie (I hadn’t seen him for a year) in the other room of The Med Bar and Scorn’s set made ace background music for that, though.

~ Rose Kemp (Saturday afternoon): Whilst it seemed like a theme for quite a few acts over the weekend, Rose Kemp took “sounding very different live to on record” to a ludicrous degree. Her voice was a hell of a lot more shrill than I expected, and accompanied only by big dragged-out doomy chords. At some points this came together to create a hellish sound, whilst at others it sounded like half baked hit-the-guitar-and-howl improvisation. There was also some very extensive swearing and amp-fiddling between songs. Lots and lots of each. It’s nice to have hobbies.

~ “Home Of Metal” talk (Saturday evening): After a fun little documentary about the project, there was an on-stage interview Johnny Doom, Nic Bullen and a couple of Sunno))) blokes. With the mics helpfully turned down really quiet. I left halfway through – I would actually have liked to stay and strain to hear for a bit longer (not being sarcy) but I absolutely did not want to miss any of Nisennenmondai.

~ The Accused (Saturday night): They sounded really Poison Idea-esque on the recorded bits I’d heard, but more like a generic sloppy 80s thrash band live. They did have their moments though.

~ Esoteric (Sunday afternoon): I think I was probably all-doomed-out by this point. They had effective chunky riffs and a big sound, but just didn’t really get to me. The atmospheric sample bits (dripping taps sounds etc) probably would have worked a lot better in less massive venue. Your man’s Prince/Madonna stylee headset mic was a nice touch, though, although there were no dance routines to make the most of it.

~ Arbouretum (sic) (early Sunday evening): I only saw a little bit of their set – 70s folky prog sorta thing. Seemed OK-ish.

~ Jarboe (Sunday evening): Ooh, she’s an enigma, that Jarboe. Or wants to be, at the very least. Hippy-doom this time around, perhaps (ah, it makes sense in my mind), but the way that she appeared to have such great regard for the magical spiritual worth of what she was doing really did get irritating.

~ 65DaysOfStatic (Sunday night): Post-rock with d’n’b styled imitation breakbeats. I liked bits of the bit of their set I saw, but (as a tweet from I-don’t-know-whom that seems to have fallen off the internet said) every song seems trying so very hard to be all big and epic. Their stage manner was very different but somehow related to that of Jarboe – in their case they seemed supremely convinced of their own ability to Rock The Hizouse. Plenty about them to get on the ol’ nerves, all in all, but they did have some fun moments.

* * *

Not quite matching up to last year’s best Supersonic evaaarrr, but still plenty good enough. Next one please. Again again again.

Check out The Collective Memory for a whole bag o’ links to things other people have said.