The “Page 56″ Meme
(Idea yoinked from Culture And Anarchy).
1) Grab the nearest book;
2) Open it to page 56;
3) Find the fifth sentence; and,
4) Post the text of the sentence along with these instructions.
The nearest book was Linsey Hanley’s “Estates” (borrowed from Our Louise and resting in the pocket of my coat on the back of my chair), which I’m glad indeed to have read (well… very very nearly finished. The bus tonight will do for it). It’s an exploration of the world of council housing in Britain: of the stigma now attached to what was once (briefly) one of this country’s prouder achievements, and of the ‘walls in the head’ that arise from shutting people off in an isolated and un-mantained area before going on to tell them that they’re some kind of failure for having to live there.
The definition of ‘sentence’ in the instructions is perhaps more ambiguous than one might have expected: I’d have assumed it meant ‘the fifth sentence on the page”, but the abovelinked post that I got this from appears to read it as the fifth line down the page (I say ‘appears’ – theirs is a Tolkein book, so who bleedin’ well knows). (EDIT: Woah there Nelly, it’s been all a-changed).
If, then, the former:
“The LCC’s actions would still have lasting significance in that it was the first example of the state, operating at a local level, stepping in to do what once only charities, The Church and philanthropists had been prepared to do.”
Although if the latter:
“…slum had been demolished, never to be replaced.”
These may not be the most spectacular excerpts (it’s not dryly written at all, nor is it a purely historical account. There’s a lot of personal material about her own experiences in Chelmsley Wood and Tower Hamlets) but it is nevertheless an amazing book that everyone should read.
Everyone should also do this meme. This is my idea of fun.
Lots Of Things To See And Do In The West Midlands: September 2009
There wasn’t an August, but it really doesn’t seem like there’s never much that’s particularly exciting in August. This particular list is even less exhaustive than usual, and also even more music-dominated than usual, but that’s what I’ve managed to come up with. Sorry. The comments box is as open as ever for the awesome stuff I’ve missed, if you feel like using it.
Standard disclaimers: I can’t ensure that these events will go ahead, that they’ll be good, or that I will be going to them. This is just a list of things I found that looked like they might be interesting, so please do not contact me to ask for your event to be included. That’s not the way it works.
Wednesday the 2nd until Saturday the 19th – ‘Cabaret’ (Birmingham Rep Theatre Company) @ The Rep Theatre, Birmingham – Wilkommen, bienvenue, welcome, c’mon in. Or similar. We saw this production last year and it was quite good. Certainly less afraid of facing up to the nasty side of it all than a lot of big-budget touring musicals would probably be. I’m not sure about the extent to which the cast is the same as that one, but Wayne Sleep is definitely still playing The MC.
Wednesday the 2nd – Seasick Steve @ JB’s, Dudley – One of these occasions when the booking at JB’s really surprises you. Apparently it’s their 40th anniversary do and proceeds will be going to cancer charity ’The Proton Effect’. Scott Matthews is also on the bill, in proper Black Country fashion.
Thursday the 3rd – Maths @ The Flapper, Birmingham – Chaotic metally punk, or even screamo if you feel the need. They’re quite good from the bits and bobs I’ve heard, but more importantly than that they call themselves ‘Maths’ rather than ‘Math’. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate that, in these times of everyone wanting to pretend to be an American.
Friday the 4th till Sunday the 6th – The Moseley Folk Festival @ Moseley Park, Moseley, Birmingham – Headlined by Saint Etienne (folk you say?), Beth Orton and Jethro Tull, whilst also featuring Swarbrick:Carthy, Ade Edmondson’s band, Keli Ali, Cara Dillon and a load of others. Bert Jansch won’t be there as originally advertised, due to ill-health.
Friday the 4th till Sunday the 6th – Birmingham Punks Picnic @ a few places in Brum – Cannon Hill Park on Saturday afternoon for cheap cider (no doubt), then gigs in the evening: The New Inn in Balsall Heath has Drongos For Europe and more on Friday then GBH, Runnin’ Riot and others on Saturday, whilst The Wagon & Horses in Digbeth has a line-up that includes Assert on Sunday.
Saturday the 5th and Sunday the 6th – “Off The Cuff” music event @ The Flapper, Birmingham – On the one hand it doesn’t look like Rolo Tomassi are doing this anymore (unfortunate) and their MySpace page doesn’t actually tell you which bands are playing on which day (stupid), but on the other hand some of the acts will be playing on a docked barge on the canal outside (brilliant).
Monday the 7th – Tori Amos @ Symphony Hall, Birmingham – She’s ace, although she wasn’t that good when I saw her live a few years ago. But she is ace.
Thursday the 10th – The Drifters @ The Wulfrun Hall, Wolverhampton – To repeat what I said in a previous LOTTSADITWM: “Or a version thereof, at least. No Ben E. King or Clyde McPhatter, for obvious reasons.”
Thursday the 10th till Sunday the 13th – the opening of the new version of the Birmingham Academy @ The, erm, new version of the Academy, Birmingham – The previous toss-hut has closed its doors to be demolished (well, good) and a new ‘un is due to open. Let’s be positive – while it’d be outright stupid to hope that most of the problems with the old place will be rectified, perhaps the new place will be a better building and so perhaps some of the structure-related stuff will be better. Any sort of improvement would be a blessing, really. The opening doings involve four days o’ gigs headlined by Birmingham bands who have achieved fame (relatively) recently: Editors on Thursday, The Twang on Friday (apparently with nine other bands, although obviously it’d make life far too easy if the Academy website were to tell us who they are), The Streets on Saturday, and Ocean Colour Scene (bless) on Sunday. Lovely to see ‘em showing their commitment to the full ethnic make-up of Birmingham’s music so early on.
Friday the 11th till Sunday the 13th – Artsfest @ all over Birmingham – Annual free-family-fun-weekend that everyone bar me seems to hate. Typically there’s no sign of a line-up/timetable yet, but there is a list of ‘themes’, including the anniversaries of the death of Matthew Boulton, the birth of Charles Darwin, and the creation of… Barbie. I’m not making this up. (EDIT: The leaflets are out now, got one through the door today. Still nothing on the website, though). (EDIT EDIT: The timetable is on the website now. See comments below, too).
Friday the 11th – Electric Wizard @ The Hare & Hounds, Kings Heath, Birmingham – Dooooooooooom.
Sunday the 13th – The Men They Couldn’t Hang @ The Robin 2, Bilston – They really should get TMTCH on at the Moseley Folk Festival, now that I think about it.
Friday the 18th – Boxing (First Team) @ The Civic Hall, Wolverhampton – Steve Saville has a go at Scott Lawton for the English lightweight title, and if you’re into slebriteez then Angel McKenzie from ‘Big Brother’ faces our own local Lyndsey Scragg. I am completely confident that Lyndsey will absolutely wreck her, so let me know if you can find anyone running a book on it.
Sunday the 20th – The Digbeth O’Lympics @ various pubs in Digbeth – Although the website just shows you a flyer and doesn’t tell you what the events are (‘not wanting to let on about the line-up’ seems to be the theme this month, doesn’t it? Event promoters, you’re all rubbish. All of you), but in this case I don’t suppose it matters that much. Have a pint instead.
Tuesday the 22nd – Massive Attack @ The Academy, Birmingham – Currently running back at two members, I think. Possibly.
Tuesday the 22nd – Theo @ The Hare & Hounds, Kings Heath, Birmingham – Fantastic loop-pedallin’ maths-rock one-man-band who rocked both your socks and mine at Supersonic this year. He’s first on the bill, with Fook Boottons headlining.
Wednesday the 23rd – “Under Milk Wood” (Guy Masterson) @ The Arena Theatre, Wolverhampton – Dylan ‘That’s lovely, you see, isn’t it’ Thomas. This claims to be “perhaps the ultimate rendition” of it, with a very strategically placed ‘perhaps’.
Thursday the 24th – The Wildhearts @ The Academy, Birmingham – Will my unbroken run of failing to attend any Wildhearts and/or Wildhearts-related gigs since June 2001 continue? The sensible money would say ‘yes’.
Saturday the 26th – AMMA @ Banks’ Stadium, Bescott, Walsall – The latest in the always-fantastic series of amateur MMA cards put on by Marc Goddard and co. The most recent bill I can find is here.
Monday the 28th till Saturday the 3rd of October – “Dinnerladies” (The Comedy Theatre Company) @ The Grand Theatre, Wolverhampton – The telly series was one of the greatest telly serieseseses ever, I think (by which I mean that it was really good, and not that I’m trying to damn it with faint praise). Obviously I don’t know how good this is.
Monday the 28th – the live version of “I’m Sorry I Haven’t A Clue” @ Symphony Hall, Birmingham – I was really quite overjoyed to walk past Mornington Crescent tube station when I went to London in February.
Wednesday the 30th – ‘Canal Music’ @ outside The Flapper, Birmingham – This is a lovely idea for a tour: Lisa Knapp and Leafcutter John are playing a series of gigs up the length of the Grand Union Canal. It ends in Birmingham (obviously), outside The Flapper. I don’t know if they’re actually playing from the barge or not. If they are that’ll take a bit of the novelty away from the “Off The Cuff” thingy mentioned above.
Lots Of Things To See And Do In The West Midlands: July 2009
Summer is here, ayit. Blimey it’s hot.
Standard disclaimers: I can’t ensure that these events will go ahead, that they’ll be good, or that I will be going to them. This is just a list of things I found that looked like they might be interesting, so please do not contact me to ask for your event to be included. That’s not the way it works.
Wednesday the 1st – Wayside & Woodland night @ The Hare & Hounds, Kings Heath, Birmingham – An interesting-looking evening of ambient/electronica/post-rock/kindathing. Features (amongst many other things) a DJ set from Xela, who I was into for a good while before I realized that he was the son of a bloke who worked at our place.
Thursday the 2nd till Saturday the 4th – “The Tiger Who Came To Tea” (Nick Brook & Kenny Way Ltd) @ The Belgrade Theatre, Coventry – I’ve always wanted a tiger to turn up for tea at my house. “Tea time mayhem” and “clumsy chaos” are promised. Tigers are awesome.
Thursday the 2nd – “Pilot” (various theatre companies, hosted by Stan’s Café) @ The A.E. Harris Building, Jewellery Quarter, Birmingham – Nine short plays, many of them site-specific. Anything touched by the hand of Stan’s Café is usually very good indeed.
Friday the 3rd until Sunday the 12th – The Birmingham International Jazz Festival @ various different venues, mostly in Brum – Featuring such outstandingly named acts as “The Fantabulous Sheepwash Playboys” and “The Shuffling Hungarians”.
Friday the 3rd – The Big Bang @ The Victoria, Birmingham – Album launch gig for the good quality local darkness ‘n’ rollers.
Saturday the 4th till Sunday the 26th – Yukio Fujimoto’s “The Tower Of Time” @ Perrot’s Folly, Edgbaston, Birmingham – The ticking of 1,111 clocks builds as you climb the tower, approaching white noise as you get to the sixth floor up. Yukio’s pocket-calculator music at last year’s Supersonic was ace.
Saturday the 4th – The Jewellery Quarter Festival @ all over The Jewellery Quarter, Birmingham – Including a guest appearance from Matthew Boulton, which should be quite the time-travelling spectacle.
Saturday the 4th – The Kings Heath Big Party/York Road Street Party @ Kings Heath Park and York Road, Kings Heath, Birmingham – All sorts of music and fun and laughter, with ‘an old fashioned charabanc’ to transport you between the two sites. A street party in the York Road near me would be an horrific thing to imagine, but I’m sure the one in Kings Heath is lovely.
Saturday the 4th – ‘Fudgestock’ @ The Public, West Bromwich – Various bands play to raise money for Breast Cancer Awareness. This is undoubtedly a good thing, but dear lord what a rubbish name for an event.
Saturday the 4th – “For You” (Music Theatre Wales) @ The Rep, Birmingham – AKA ‘The Iain McEwan Opera”.
Saturday the 4th – “Goldilocks And How Many Bears?” (Krazy Kat Theatre Company) @ The Rep Door, Birmingham – This one is BYOB: Bring Your Own Bear (if you need to borrow one then make sure you don’t fall victim to ursury usury. Arf).
Sunday the 5th – boxing (First Team & Warrior Promotions) @ The Tower Ballroom, Edgbaston, Birmingham – Including the D. Mitchell vs Martin Concepcion rematch that was meant to be happening last month.
Sunday the 5th – Latin American Festival @ Victoria Square, Birmingham – With salsa, limbo and tango shows, ‘funky feathers’, amigos and American Mercenaries bringing down non-right-wing governments.
Monday the 6th – Prefuse 73 @ The Hare & Hounds, Kings Heath, Birmingham – Our Louise has trouble distinguishing between Jill Scott and Gil Scott-Heron. Introducing an artist named Guillermo Scott Herren (for that is Prefuse 73’s real name) into the equation seems deliberately unfair.
Wednesday the 8th till Saturday the 11th – “The Importance Of Being Earnest” (Stourbridge Theatre Company) @ Himley Hall, Wombourne – “A HANDBAG?” See also: the 30th of this month.
Friday the 10th – Einstellung / Mothertrucker @ The Flapper, Birmingham – You could see this as a warm-up for Supersonic, I suppose.
Saturday the 11th till Thursday the 18th – “Dad’s Army” (Oldbury Repertory Players) @ The Oldbury Rep, Langley – Don’t tell him your name, Pike.
Saturday the 11th – “The Black Maze” (Stan’s Café) @ Cannon Hill Park, Edgbaston, Birmingham – A maze in the back of a wagon. Stan’s Café are ace.
Wednesday the 15th until Saturday the 19th of September – “Little Shop Of Horrors” @ The Hippodrome, Birmingham – Feeeeeed me, Seymour.
Wednesday the 15th – Carina Round @ The Bar Academy, Birmingham – I’ve probably already said pretty much everything I’ll ever be able to say about ‘Rina.
Friday the 17th – boxing (First Team Promotions) @ The Civic Hall, Wolverhampton – Apparently dubbed ‘The Summer Slammer’, which sounds like more of an MMA name to me.
Sunday the 19th – Birmingham Eid Mela 2009 @ Kings Heath Park, Kings Heath, Birmingham – Including kabbadi matches! Oh my life that will be awesome.
Tuesday the 21st – The Autumn Store night @ The Victoria, Birmingham – A warm-up indie-pop do for the Indietracks festival in Derbyshire.
Wednesday the 22nd – “The Traveling Picture Show” (7 Inch Cinema) @ The Light House, Wolverhampton – 7 Inch Cinema’s touring film programme for kids and adults. Involves bugs, beasts, magic boxes and red balloons.
Thursday the 23rd till Saturday the 25th – “The Woman Who Cooked Her Husband” (Highbury Theatre Centre) @ The Old Joint Stock Theatre, Birmingham – Adulterous chappy gets munched. “One from the vaults…”
Friday the 24th till Sunday the 26th – Supersonic 2009 @ The Custard Factory, Digbeth, Birmingham – My Favourite Annual Event, headlined this year by Head Of David, Corrupted and Goblin, alongside (of course) many many others. I may or may not write a post on its own about it in the next couple of weeks (it’s probably not likely, in all honesty, although you never know) but for the time being have a little listen to this Soup’n’Sonic themed podcast (disclaimer: I haven’t done so myself yet).
Friday the 24th – Roy Ayers @ The Hare & Hounds, Kings Heath, Birmingham – The less famous version of Stevie Wonder, perhaps.
Saturday the 25th – Testament @ The Wulfrun Hall, Wolverhampton – Air guitar on the mic stand in no small amounts (this is a good thing).
Sunday the 26th – Geocaching taster day @ Nimmings Wood Car Park, Clent Hills, Hagley – A ‘high tech treasure hunting game’. You’re given GPS equipment and have to find the hidden containers dotted around the place, by the looks of it.
Tuesday the 28th – Emiliana Torrini @ The Glee Club, Birmingham – Dunka dunka dugga dugga dun dun.
Thursday the 30th till Saturday the 1st of August – “The Importance Of Being Earnest” (Tread The Boards Theatre Company) @ The Old Joint Stock Theatre, Birmingham – “A HANDBAG?” See also: the 8th of this month.
Lots Of Things To See And Do In The West Midlands: June 2009
A short one this month, which is more my fault than that of the rest of the world. Having given it a last read-through before posting, I’d also like to note that I’m giving some serious consideration to toning down the stupid commentary henceforth. I probably won’t, though.
Standard disclaimers: I can’t ensure that these events will go ahead, that they’ll be good, or that I will be going to them. This is just a list of things I found that looked like they might be interesting, so please do not contact me to ask for your event to be included. That’s not the way it works.
From Monday the 1st and onwards into July – Bass Festival @ various venues in Birmingham and other cites too – This year’s theme is “Inspired by Africa and Africans”. All sorts of things are a-going on, so have a little look at the What’s On page.
Monday the 1st – Manic Street Preachers @ The Civic Hall, Wolverhampton – Intermittently worthwhile student-radical Welshers. Must all be about five hundred years old by now.
Tuesday the 2nd – The Horrors @ The Academy 2, Birmingham – Hyped so much that even I’ve noticed, but you can have a listen to their new album here (scroll down a bit, try not to get too distracted by the picture of Rollins needing a wash) and I quite like it. 80s-style indie rock: bit of J&MC, bit of (a much more polite version of) The Birthday Party, derivative but great fun.
Tuesday the 2nd and Wednesday the 3rd – “Tempest In A Tea Cup” (Side By Side Theatre) @ The Arena Theatre, Wolverhampton – There seem to be a few offshoots of ‘The Tempest’ knocking around the theatrical world lately. This one features dysfunctional MPs and is set in a kitchen and a standard lamp. Apparently.
Friday the 5th till Saturday the 13th of June – “The Government Inspector” (Crescent Theatre Company) @ The Crescent Theatre, Birmingham – Wait for it, wait for it… Corrupt politicians and their cronies are afraid that their embezzling and wrongdoing will be exposed. Also there’s a play by Gogol (hithangyew).
Saturday the 6th – Pritchattsbury Festival @ Pritchatts Park, Edgbaston, Birmingham – Apparently in its sixth year and the biggest festival in Brum, although no-one seems to have heard of it. Those playing include Just Jack, Lethal Bizzle and The Rumblestrips, although I’m getting sick of this “using ‘-bury’ as a general suffix for a festival name” lark. Just as Watergate would now be Watergategate, that thing in the West Country is presumably now Glastonburybury.
Saturday the 6th – Joan Of Arc @ The Rainbow, Digbeth, Birmingham – Featuring ex-members of a pile of those types of bands that everyone else has heard apart from me, but never mind that: they sound like they have an interesting mix of wonky springy indie-rock, twingly-twangly guitar instrumentation that’s probably ala all those aforementioned bands although possibly not, and that kind-of-folksy-but-not-really American half-effort singing that is usually annoying but sometimes endearing, as per here. One day I’ll meet someone to whom my descriptions actually make sense, and it’ll probably bring about the apocalypse or somesuch.
Saturday the 6th – Schostakovich’s Fifth Symphony (CBSO) @ Symphony Hall, Birmingham – Nuts to that Stalin character. This’ll learn him.
Monday the 8th – Mark Thomas @ The Town Hall, Birmingham – The selection of policies for a “People’s Manifesto” continues. You can look at the full list here – I particularly like “Margaret Thatcher should pay for her own funeral”, “To replace organ donor cards with an opt out scheme”, “That the 1967 Abortion Act should be introduced to Northern Ireland”, “If MPs want a second job in order to gain a greater understanding of life outside of government, then the constituents should be able to vote and choose which job they think would best expand their MPs horizons”, and “Those who peddle homeopathic remedies should only receive homeopathic medicines when they have major illnesses”.
Tuesday the 9th – Lady Sovereign @ The Academy 2, Birmingham – Hooray for short people! I don’t know, you lot with your ‘leg room’ and your ‘ow I’ve banged my head’.
Wednesday the 10th – The Drones @ The Hare & Hounds, Kings Heath, Birmingham – Awesome Australian indie rock’n’roll band who awesomely and Australianly actually use the word ‘daggy’ in this interview. Awesome. And Australian. And also it’s an interesting read outside of that.
Friday the 12th – Boxing (First Team) @ The Civic Hall, Wolverhampton – Steve Saville defends his Midlands Area lightweight title against Gary Reid, which is very far from a definite win for him. Lyndsey Scragg, meanwhile, has drawn Ugandan Agnes Adonga in a fight for something called the GBC women’s super-flyweight title, and Dean Harrison is on the card too.
Saturday the 13th and Sunday the 14th – “24 Hour Scalextric Grand Prix” (Stan’s Café) @ The A. E. Harris Building, Jewellery Quarter, Birmingham – I always think ‘Scalextric’ sounds like a mispronunciation along the lines of ‘skellington’ or ‘sumbarine’. But it’s not. A 24 hour race, anyway, with running commentary through the whole thing. 7 Inch Cinema will be showing some pictures, too.
Saturday the 13th – The Flyover Show @ Hockley Flyover, Hockley, Birmngham – Urban jazzman Soweto Kinch’s second annual all-dayer under the A-Road, which makes for a really cool venue. Artists on include Ty, Bashy, and even Linton Kwesi Johnson.
Saturday the 13th – ‘Sci-Fi Fete’ @ St Mary’s Church, Castle Bromwich, Birmingham – A science-fiction themed church fete is not something you see every day.
Saturday the 13th – Æthenor / Einstellung @ The Hare And Hounds, Kings Heath, Birmingham – Brought to you by Capsule, whose ranks are now (in a way) bolstered by P’Ashton. An example of intertwingling, perhaps.
Tuesday the 16th – Boxing (no bleeding idea) @ The Arden Hotel, Solihull – Sorry about that, but it’s the best link I can find. The world of boxing, yet again, decides that the best way to make sure its shows are full of punters is to make sure everything is a bit more difficult for them than it might otherwise be (although in the name of not being quite so relentlessly negative I’ll say that I am quite happy that this now exists. That has nothing to do with this card, of course). This will apparently feature Kell Brook vs John O’Donnell in a British welterweight title fight and Gary Buckland vs Henry Castle in an eliminator for the British lightweight. Quite why those particular fights would end up happening in Solihull is beyond me, but there we are.
Thursday the 18th – Billy Bragg @ The Civic Hall, Wolverhampton – Braggy normally does the Wulfrun when he plays in Wolves, but this one is at The Civic. Climbing the capitalist ladder as ever, tsk.
Friday the 19th – “The War Of The Worlds” @ The NIA, Birmingham – UUULLLAAAAAAAAA.
Friday the 19th – UFO @ The Wulfrun Hall, Wolverhampton – Doctor Doctor, there’s a fly in my soup. You don’t hear those jokes nowadays. I think that’s a shame. This is also quite possibly a very oblique reference.
Friday the 19th – The Sweet @ The Robin 2, Bilston – Or a version thereof, anyway. That’s right. That’s right that’s right.
Sunday the 21st – “The Secret Life Of Bees” @ Clent Hills, Hagley – Beeeeees. This is a walk and talk about bees, I should add, not a play built from the novel of the same name or anything like that.
Monday the 22nd – Shonen Knife @ The Hare & Hounds, Kings Heath, Birmingham – Japanese girly pop-punkists who were really young when they started but have been going forever and so probably aren’t really young any more, if I understand this ‘chronology’ lark rightly (see also: 1st of the month). My favourite (possibly apocryphal) story about them is that – when they first started – the guitarist couldn’t play her instrument while standing up, having only ever practiced whilst sitting down. I think there’s something really lovely about that.
Tuesday the 23rd till Saturday the 27th – “The BFG” (Fiery Light/Royal & Derngate) @ The Rep, Birmingham – I approve of Roald Dahl as an author for children. I don’t approve of children, obviously, but if they have to exist then Roald Dahl is a good author for them to read. Then when a bit older Rushdie’s “Haroun And The Sea Of Stories” and Gaardner’s “Sophie’s World”. Continue with Alice and Hitchhikers, and then they’re ready for Kafka. I reckon.
Tuesday the 23rd – A Hawk And A Hacksaw @ The Hare And Hounds, Kings Heath, Birmingham – Them having a song called “God Bless The Ottoman Empire” gives Johnny Punter a good reason to go to this gig. Them having one of those websites (I’ve linked the MySpace instead there, to spare you) that does the ol’ “resized pop-up window” thing gives a good reason to try and spite them by not going. I thought that crap had died out. Messing about with my screen without asking me is not the best way to endear yourself to me, dunno about you.
Wednesday the 24th – Blur @ The Civic Hall, Wolverhampton – Whoo and also, if you find yourself so inclined, Hoo.
Wednesday the 24th – Hot 8 Brass Band @ The Hare & Hounds, Kings Heath, Birmingham – It seems to be an evolving tradition for the H&H to host a hip-hop influenced brass band every month. Not that I disapprove of this.
Thursday the 25th – B.B. King @ The NIA, Birmingham – ‘The legendary bluesman’, as professional music writers would insist you refer to him.
Thursday the 25th – Jeff Beck @ Symphony Hall, Birmingham – “So, Jeff Beck pops his head round the corner and mentions that there’s a little sweetshop at the edge of town…”
Friday the 26th till Sunday the 5th of July – Moseley Festival @ sundry locations in Moseley, Birmingham – All sorts of stuff in that there spot with those there people. I’m having trouble picturing a ‘Rocky Horror’ night at The Prince Of Wales, though. Also: it’s a bit of a digression, but Eye On Moseley has made me laugh more than any other blog I’ve seen in quite a long time.
Friday the 26th – Pendulum @ The Wulfrun Hall, Wolverhampton – They display an astonishing ignorance of arachnid physiology, it’s true, but they nevertheless make your body goi stiff an your spine goi numb. Come fe get some.
Sunday the 28th – Boxing (Warrior Promotions, I’m guessing) @ The Tower Ballroom, Edgbaston, Birmingham – One of these afternoon ones, I’m also guessing. Featuring a rematch between Dee Mitchell and Martin Concepcion: trust me when I say that their first fight was fantastic, up there with other four-round classics of our times like Gethin vs Carey and Davies vs Rasani.
More ‘Phoenix Nights’ than ‘Ironside’
If you’d asked me three months ago, I would have hoped I wasn’t un-sensitive towards wheelchair users but I couldn’t honestly have claimed to have spent an excessive amount of time thinking about their predicaments. Things are oh-so-very different now. Louise’s achey-breaky knee has finally given up good and proper, and so for the last six weeks or so we’ve been rockin’ the chariot look.
I cannot emphasis enough the amount that it has made me look at world differently. Even before I actually had a go at pushing it I started viewing doorways/corners etc with a wary eye. Once I had been pushing it a while, an initial impression only got all the stronger: you really don’t realise how crap the pavements are until you have to push a be-wheeled adult with a bump-sensitive leg along them (this is not the same thing as a pushchair). Forgive my French (I don’t usually swear much), but the bastard Jewellery Quarter with its bastard driveway cobbles every twenty yards or so can bastard itself right bastard off.
A little exercise, then, for your own amusement: next time you’re out and about, just have a think about getting around wherever you are while pushing a wheelchair. I’m not trying to make some big point about disabled access, this is a personal thing. It’s a hidden world for the bipedafunctional amongst us, until one thinks about it specifically.
It does all help the old ‘faith in humanity’ game a bit, though. People are actually completely lovely for the most part and will go out of their way to help. Particular thanks should go to the Crescent Theatre and Stan’s Café as larger bodies (I’ll get around to writing something about the plays of both of theirs that we’ve been to see soon-ish, but suffice it to say here that in both cases they were both wonderfully helpful), but also to every single person out there who’s held open a door or whatever else. You’re all good ‘uns.
Lots Of Things To See And Do In The West Midlands – April 2009
Ah, April. Spring has begun and a young person’s attention naturally turns to… erm, things to see and do. Obviously.
Standard disclaimers: I can’t ensure that these events will go ahead, that they’ll be good, or that I will be going to them. This is just a list of things I found that looked like they might be interesting, so please do not contact me to ask for your event to be included. That’s not the way it works.
Thursday the 2nd till Sunday the 5th, then Thursday the 9th till Sunday the 12th – “Black Tonic” (The Other Way Works Theatre Company) @ The Radisson Hotel, Birmingham – Audiences of two at a time (so make sure you book) are led around a hotel to solve the mystery, centered around sleeplessness and shiftworking.
Friday the 3rd until Saturday the 11th – “Talking To Terrorists” (Crescent Theatre Company) @ The Crescent Theatre, Birmingham – The last of three plays in The Crescent’s ‘Terrorism’ mini-series. More words on that soon. They’ve been really good to us just recently, so more words on that soon too. This one is made up of monologues (I think) adapted from interviews with people directly affected by Terrorism in one way or another, and sounds like it might be a dark horse for best-of-the-three.
Friday the 3rd – Boxing (First Team) @ The Civic Hall, Wolverhampton – Featuring the return to the local First Team cards of Stourbridge’s Sam “The Man” Horton, and the pro debut of Walsall’s amateur ‘starlet’ Bobby Wood.
Sunday the 5th – ‘Easter Wonderland’ @ Botanical Gardens, Harborne, Birmingham – Walking in it.
Tuesday the 7th – Tina Turner @ The NIA, Birmingham – Quite possibly the first popular music artist I was ever a fan of, all those many years ago. Didn’t quite fall for her to the same degree I did for Sabbath when I first heard them a few years later, but still.
Wednesday the 8th – “Yasser” (Theatre International) @ The Arena Theatre, Wolverhampton – An Arab prepares to play Shylock in “The Merchant Of Venice”, and finds that he may understand the identity of the maligned Jew more than anyone else.
Thursday the 9th – The Prodigy / Dizzee Rascal @ The NIA, Birmingham – Fire start look sharp.
Friday the 10th – Baroness @ The Hare & Hounds, Kings Heath, Birmingham – A Capsule do. The first time I saw Baroness really was quite something. Something loud, that is. The always-bosting Mothertrucker are also on the bill.
Friday the 10th – Paul Merton’s Silent Clowns @ The Alexandra Theatre, Birmingham – Him what be funny on the telly and whatnot, screening bits from the silent comedies of Charlie Chaplin, Buster Keaton, Laurel and Hardy etc. with a live pianist in that lovely old traditional fashion.
Friday the 10th – Boxing (Warrior Promotions) @ The Holiday Inn, Birmingham – Yah boo sucks to dinner shows.
Friday the 10th – St Matthew’s Passion (Ex-Cathedra) @ Symphony Hall, Birmingham – I know there’s an annual Brum performance, but isn’t it usually by the Birmingham Bach Choir rather than Ex-Cathedra? Or am I confused?
Saturday the 11th – Terrorvision @ The Wulfrun Hall, Wolverhampton – I curse myself and the world for the fact that I didn’t get a ticket before this one sold out.
Sunday the 12th – Beres Hammond / Maxi Priest @ The Civic Hall, Wolverhampton – 10CC don’t like reggae. On the other hand, nuts to 10CC.
Sunday the 12th – Flyover Show preview @ The Drum, Newtown, Birmingham – The Flyover Show (brainchild of Soweto Kinch) was wonderful next year, and I’m glad there’s going to be another one (May sometime). Here you can have a preview of some of the works being created for it.
Sunday the 12th – Horace Andy @ The Hare & Hounds, Kings Heath, Birmingham – Skylark away at a surprisingly small venue. The fact that it’s the same night as Beres Hammond/Maxi Priest will no doubt be a pain in the arse for many, but there we are.
Sunday the 12th – Bat For Lashes @ The Town Hall, Birmingham – Khaaaan~! (That’s her surname, didjaseewhatIdidthere).
Thursday the 16th – Supersuckers @ The Barfly, Digbeth, Birmingham – Lemmy once said that if you don’t like Supersuckers, you don’t like rock’n’roll. Then again, Lemmy says a lot of things.
Friday the 17th until Saturday the 25th – The Rivals (Crescent Theatre Company) @ The Crescent Theatre, Birmingham – The Sheridan comedy, including a big sword-fight.
Saturday the 18th – Ramesses @ Busk, Birmingham – Dooooooooooom.
Tuesday the 21st – Gomez @ The Wulfrun Hall, Wolverhampton – Gomez are a band who achieve the rare feat of being incredibly studenty but somehow not annoying. Good on ‘em.
Wednesday the 22nd – PJ Harvey and John Parish @ The Town Hall, Birmingham – Big fishy little fishy swimming in the water.
Wednesday the 22nd – Bridge And Tunnel @ The Flapper, Birmingham – Interesting indie-punk type of band, distantly reminiscent of Hot Water Music. Apparently they’re named after a regional slur, and you know I’m all about that sort of thing.
Wednesday the 22nd – The Wailers @ The Academy, Birmingham – Playing “Exodus” in its entirety. Movement of Jah people. Bob Marley won’t be there, for obvious reasons.
Wednesday the 23rd – Gary Numan @ The Wulfrun Hall, Wolverhampton – Ah, Gazza, he of the cars and friends electric and frighteningly obsessive fans.
Thursday the 23rd with things afterward – St George’s Day @ everywhere – There’s assorted stuff going on all over the place, some of it free and some of it not. Brum has free stages in Chamberlain and Victoria Squares on the 25th (lots of Morris dancing and a Beatles tribute band, apparently); Wolverhampton looks to have Dragons a-plenty.
Thursday the 23rd – AC/DC @ The LG Arena, Marston Green, Birmingham – They tell me it’s a long way to the top if you wanna rock’n’roll. I don’t think there’s anything particularly rock’n’roll about trying to climb to the top, but on the other hand it seems a safe bet to assume that AC/DC know more about these things than me.
Thursday the 23rd – Basement Jaxx @ The Academy, Birmingham – I curse myself and the world for the fact that I didn’t get a ticket before this one sold out, too.
Thursday the 23rd until Saturday the 25th – “Home Of The Wriggler” (Stan’s Café) @ The A.E Harris Building, Jewellery Quarter, Birmingham – From the people who brought you the absolutely amazing likes of The Cleansing Of Constance Brown and Of All The People In All The World. Tales from a Birmingham of the near future are relayed with all light and sound powered by the actors themselves.
Friday the 24th – Boxing (Sports Network) @ The Civic Hall, Wolverhampton – This was supposed to have Kell Brook vs Mark Lloyd for the British welterweight title, but that was rejected by the board (for a second time). This was then supposed to have Kell Brook vs Young Mutley for saidsame title, but Brook is apparently injured (no name fighters ever seem to be available to fight Mut just lately, do they?). So… I gather Mutley is still on the card, and Donnie Broadhurst will be defending his commonwealth title against the dreaded TBC too.
Friday the 24th – Elvis Costello and The Brodsky Quartet – Symphony Hall, Birmingham – Young Declan gets his quasi-classical groove on.
Saturday the 25th – AMMA @ Bescott Stadium, Walsall – These amateur MMA cards are always fantastic, but this one has an extra special main event: longtime fave of this blog Danny Korbely is due to face northern prodigy James Saville, in a full pro-rules bantamweight match. You don’t get to see two of the country’s best young prospects clash in their first professional fight every day of the week. The latest version of the card is here.
Saturday the 25th and Sunday the 26th – The Specials @ The Academy, Birmingham – Without Jerry Dammers, but I suspect this is probably as close to the original line-up as you’re going to get.
Monday the 27th – S.C.U.M. / An Experiment On A Bird In The Air Pump @ The Little Civic, Wolverhampton – Mentioned mostly for the magnificent name of the supporting artistes, although in a musical sense the goth-revivalism (Siouxsie/Bauhaus/Birthday Party/etc) of both them and the headliners could be fun.
Tuesday the 28th – The Nightingales @ The Little Civic, Wolverhampton – August and venerable Brummie post-punk sorts. Trivia from Wikipedia: by the time they’d first split up, they’d done more Peel sessions than anyone other than The Fall.
Wednesday the 29th – Asva @ The Hare & Hounds, Kings Heath, Birmingham – Surreal doom/drone? Have I got that right? I think a lot of people said they were really good at Supersonic last year but then I could be confusing them with someone else. Another Capsule affair. (EDIT: This is apparently cancelled. Please disregard).
Wednesday the 29th – Bob Dylan @ The NIA, Birmingham – Presumably not in need of a silly blurb from me.
Alcohol restrictions at a St Patrick’s Day event: that’s taking the mickey (arf)
My sources tell me that the orders originated from the bridge of the nuclear submarine that Birmingham City Council keep under the River Rea (y’know, the one poised and ready to launch a tactical missile against The Spotted Dog). The engines hummed as Mike Whitby sleepily shifted his weight deeper into his orthopaedic deckchair. His top hat slumped to the side slightly, obscuring some of the sequins that he’d lovingly sewed on in the shape of the letters “I ARE TEH LEADER”
“Could I possibly have a cup of Bovril?” he burbled. As his Bovril Lackey scurried off, the council’s two oracle interpreters on duty that day leaned closer together to confer.
“Bovril? Cup? If I’m translating correctly, that must mean that we’re to institute an alcohol-free zone on Bradford Street.”
“I agree. I’ll send out a wire immediately.”
Something seemed to disturb Whitby from his reveries. Growing agitated, he began to mutter under his breath – “Forward! Forward!” The crew of the submarine braced themselves for what they knew was coming next. Leaping to his feet, he insisted everyone else also stood and joined in with the singing of Birmingham’s civic anthem (“If It Happens Again I’m Leaving” by UB40, as any fule kno).
The interpreters were again quick to act.
“Singing? Standing? We’re clearly being told to allow alcohol back in on Bradford Street.”
“And that twitch?”
“Initially I thought it was just shellshock from the Battle Of Harborne, but now I realise he was telling us to allow plastic glasses only.”
“I concur. I’ll send out word.”
Calming down, Whitby sank back into his chair. He scanned his eyes around the room and was comforted by the presence of some of his favourite possessions – a snowglobe with a city in it, for example, and a local heart (preserved in a jar of formaldehyde). “I remember when this was all just luxury apartments” he murmured to himself, as his eyelids slowly lowered and he drifted away to the happy little world inside his own mind.
“Hear that?”
“Yup. We’re back to no alcohol. I’ll let ‘em know.”
…and so it continued…
***
Apparently Birmingham’s St Patrick’s Parade is the third largest in the world after New York and Dublin (I also gather Brum has more yards of cut than Valencia, or something like that). As part of the general weekend-before festivities for this year there was an outside stage on Bradford Street, with some bands ‘n’ such. It looked like fun. Since the stage was meant to be out on the street I got myself some cans at our end, before hopping over to Birmingham. A spot of shopping (stylin’ new shoes included) preceded me wandering over to Digbeth.
Picture the scene, then: the stage was by The Anchor, and blocked off with barriers so that you could only get near it via an entrance near The White Swan. When I arrived, they weren’t allowing alcohol any nearer to the stage than the barriers there. This basically led to a small number of people up in front of the stage, a huuuge gap (about 150 yards, say?) with no people, then a big crowd knocking around at the crossroads by The White Swan. Exactly as you’d expect.
Not long after I’d got there they decided to start letting people in with booze in plastic cups, so a fair few folks headed forwards. That didn’t help me, obviously, but I finished my can and moved into the enclosure in time for the start of The Father Teds. They weren’t searching bags at this point.
The Father Teds were great fun – too-ra-loo-ra-li fun Irish business with “Dirty Old Town” and “Irish Rover” and so on and so forth, not done in any particularly new or innovative way but entertaining. A very good festival band, I’d call them, perfect for those times when you’re out in the sunshine and having a drink. Oh, wait.
Out I came. I braved the madness (it was every bit as busy as you’d imagine) in The White Swan to buy a pint of lager – I had lager in my bag already, as I’ve said, but I wanted the plastic cup to pour my own in. When I got out of the maelstrom I was delighted (oh so very delighted, as I’m sure you can guess) to find that apparently minds had been changed. The Maginot Line of alcohol prevention was back in force.
The Destroyers started, and I found myself watching them at a huge distance. The Baron and Lady Baron turned up and couldn’t get in either, but it’s always nice to see them as they are just about the loveliest people going.
I finished my pint and headed in. No! Wait! They’re checking bags now. I wasn’t going to open any of my cans inside the enclosure, but that was of no account. Back to the crossroads I was sent. After a while it was decided that the plastic cups were allowed back in, but I was by then known as a can-carrier.
It was a case of The Destroyers at extreme distance, then. I could just about see them if I squinted, and happily the wind was blowing the right way so you could still more-or-less hear them. They’re quite a surreal band at the best of times, but I have to say this eyestrain set was the most surreal time I’ve ever seen them. Out Of Babel still sounds enormous at range, happily, but eventually I gave up. There didn’t seem much point anymore and I left. I have no doubt that the “you can! You can’t!” changed back and forth another several times as the afternoon and evening progressed.
The idea that a St Patrick’s Day do should be an alcohol-free affair seems a silly one, but if for some reason it’s necessary to make people (who are going to drink anyway unless you shut every licensed premises in a five-mile radius) neck their pints as quickly as they can so they can get back to the action then a consistent policy is needed. The constant chop and change was a cock-up of genuinely massive proportions. I’m not blaming the security lads, who were friendly and affable throughout whilst having to follow constantly-changing orders. Whoever was in charge, though, should probably be repeatedly shot until they apologise and promise not to do it ever again.
Birmingham City Council seem to have some odd philosophy based on the separation of sound and alcohol in Digbeth – you can have a pub as long as it stays deathly quiet or you can have a big stage with bands as long as it remains unusually sober. Never the twain should meet, it appears.
Similar complaints can be found here and here and probably other places too.
Hounds and other towns
I am without a doubt A Cat Person, but I do like the doggies too. Louise, meanwhile, is very much A Dog Person and nearly died of excitement in the run-up to us going to Crufts.
Thursday the 5th, it was, for “Hounds and Terriers” day (I usually refer to all dogs as hounds in a general rather than technical sense, but I’m trying not to here to avoid confusion). So many cute pooches. We had a long look at the Parson terriers (Jack Russells, my sort-of-namesakes. They’re usually almost as irritable as I am, but the ones here were well-behaved) and miniature daschunds being judged (I’m none the wiser as to the judging criteria but it didn’t really matter when so very many of them were so very lovely), but the best bits were the actual events in the arena. The agility (i.e. the little assault course larks) is so much fun! It’s absolutely hilarious and really should be on the telly. I’d never heard of flyball before but that was also a massive amount of fun to watch.
We went to visit Matt’n’Chel in Leamington Spa on the 6th and 7th, and I mention this here mostly to recommend the wonderful Rasoi restaurant. In terms of food, décor, and service it was wonderful. The website there doesn’t seem to mention the lunchtime (it’s in Leamington so I’ll be posh and say ‘lunch’ rather than ‘dinner’) menu, which is very reasonable indeed (we had three lovely one-course meals and three soft drinks for inside twenty quid). I’m told it’s busy in the week, but it was more-or-less empty when we went early afternoon on Saturday. Go go go if you find yourself in Leam, you won’t regret it.
Also: my run of happening to be on the winning side in Trivial Pursuit continues. My secret is to make sure I’m teamed up with someone really clever.
