Oh. (Russ L going to and fro in the Earth)

It feels a bit feeble this time. This would mostly be because I’m a bit feeble myself and the end of the month crept up on me too fast. Also the Ian McEwan opera thing (what a combination) seems to have disappeared from The Rep’s site, so I’m assuming that’s cancelled. Sorry.

Standard disclaimers: I can’t ensure that these events will go ahead, that they’ll be good, or that I will be going to them. This is just a list of things I found that looked like they might be interesting, so please do not contact me to ask for your event to be included. That’s not the way it works.

All of the Wednesdays from before now until ages away - “These Are A Few Of My Favourite Things” (Various contributors) @ Ikon Gallery, Birmingham - Various people talk about their Favourite Things, in a DesertIslandDisks stylee. Most interesting to me looks like Catherine O’ Flynn, of “What Was Lost” (amazing novel, read it if you haven’t) authorship fame on the 9th of July.

Before now until Sunday the 13th of July – Vivid’s ‘Flux-Fest’ @ Various places in Birmingham - Something calling itself a festival? In Birmingham? The heck you say. It’s to honour the memory of your good ol’ Fluxus movement, anyway.

Friday the 27th of June till Sunday the 6th – Moseley Festival @ Various places in Moseley, Birmingham - Not to be confused with the Moseley Folk Festival in August. There’s a list of events here; Rich Batsford’s Music By Candlelight on Tuesday the 1st at St Mary’s Church sounds good.

Various dates between Saturday the 28th of June and Saturday the 5th – ‘Fourplay’ (new directors showcase) @ The Crescent Theatre, Birmingham - Four new directors doing four one-act plays over the course of a couple of different double bills. The Bald Prima Donna sounds like a laugh.

Tuesday the 1st till Saturday the 5th - ‘Topless Mum’ (Tobacco Factory Productions & Imagineer Productions) @ The Belgrade Theatre, Coventry - Careful now. I mean it. We’ll have no smut here. This is a play about the actions and responsibilities of tabloid newspapers, even if they are using the poncey southern spelling of ‘mom’.

Wednesday the 2nd – Pama International / The Slackers / The Pietasters / Mungo’s Hi-Fi @ The Robin 2, Bilston - The ‘Reggae For The People’ tour. The Pietasters weren’t especially reggae-ish last time I heard them (admittedly this was years ago) but they were very good.

Thursday the 3rd – Paul Heaton @ The Academy 2, Birmingham - Your man there from The Beautiful South.

Saturday the 5th – Eddy Grant @ The Civic Hall, Wolverhampton - Oi! He’s gonna rock down to Electric Avenue, although apparently (and disappointingly) that song is about an Electric Avenue in London rather than the one in Birmingham.

Saturday the 5th – Pentangle @ Symphony Hall, Birmingham - Apparently this is the actual proper version of Pentangle, rather than the “Jacqui McShee plus some other suckahs” version I saw a couple of years ago.

Saturday the 5th - ‘Cocomad’ (Cotteridge Festival) @ Cotteridge Park, Bourneville, Birmingham - With food and stalls and wood carving and some ace bands.

Monday the 7th – Duran Duran @ The NIA, Birmingham - Just don’t go on a pilgrimage to Saramoons where they used to drink, ‘cos although it’s still open it ain’t like that these days. Pointing this out seems to be a popular local meme of late.

Thursday the 10th till Sunday the 13th – ‘Taste Of Birmingham’ @ Cannon Hill Park, Edgbaston, Birmingham - NOM NOM NOM NOM.

Friday the 11th – Lupe Fiasco @ The Academy, Birmingham - And so we kick, push, kick, push, kick, push…

Friday the 11th till Sunday the 13th – Supersonic Festival @ The Custard Factory, Digbeth, Birmingham - Look, it’s Supersonic (hey hey hey hey). If I haven’t convinced you before now then I’m not likely to. Just go, yer nutter, it’s the best annual event out there.

Saturday the 12th - Weatheroak Charity Challenge & Pig Roast @ Wythall Park Community Centre, Wythall - Including five-aside football and “It’s A Knockout” (~!).

Saturday the 12th - The Jewellery Quarter Arts & Designer Craft Festival @ all over The Jewellery Quarter, Birmingham - Bizarrely under-publicised (or at least as far as my sphere-of-noticing-things goes), but it looks interesting. There are workshops and demonstrations and things of sculpting, jewellery-making, and of course Arfs An Crarts.

Saturday the 12th – Andersens @ The Sunflower Lounge, Birmingham - Cool-sounding (on the basis of their MySpace page, at least) Japanese psych-folk doings. Courtesy of The Autumn Store, who also bring you more fun ‘n’ frolics on the 22nd – have a look at their events page, whydon’tcha.

Monday the 14th – Jah Wobble @ The Glee Club, Birmingham -Dubby experimentally silly namey erstwhile PIL fella, doing what’s said to be a fusion of dub and Chinese melodies. Leslie Kong would be proud.

Wednesday the 16th – Wiley @ The Barfly, Digbeth, Birmingham - What do you do? Usually drink, usually daaaarrrrnce.

Saturday the 19th – Boxing (Sports Network) @ Aston Events Centre, Aston, Birmingham - Frizzank Wizzank defies his own self-imposed ban on promoting in Birmingham for the second time in two months. You’d almost think the Olympic boxing squad had two Brummies he wanted to sign or something. Featuring, anyway, Enzo Maccarinelli and Audley ‘Not In The Face!’ Harrison for ‘big name’ purposes and Matthew Macklin, Don Broadhurst and Thomas Costello for ‘actually getting the tickets sold’ purposes.

Tuesday the 22nd – Butthole Surfers @ The Wulfrun Hall, Wolverhampton - Another “if I have to explain it, you’ll never understand” one. Not on the 6th, please note; the date has changed.

Thursday the 24th and Saturday the 26th - ‘Assassins’ (Through The Window Theatre) @ The Old Joint Stock Theatre, Birmingham - A comical musical about the ‘fraternity of presidential assassins’ - the nine men who’ve tried to kill a US prez.

Thursday the 24th – Boxing (First Team Promotions) @ The Civic Hall, Wolverhampton - The latest local card with a bunch of our usual faves, including (at the time of writing) Rob Hunt, Rob Kenney, Scott Evans etc. No Dean Harrison or Lyndsey Scragg though, seemingly.

Friday the 25th – Soweto Kinch @ The Town Hall, Birmingham - Fresh from Flyover Show-esque success, that man Soweto presents this ‘Basement Fables’ show – the second part of his ‘A Day In The Life Of B19’ series.

Monday the 28th and Tuesday the 29th - ‘Like A Fountain Troubled’ (Untamed Shrew Productions) @ The Old Joint Stock Theatre, Birmingham - Of the counsellor more troubled than those she counsels, and the relationship between the two. The description on the OJS site makes it sound sort of ace and sort of crap at the same time, which is as nifty a promotional trick as many you’ll encounter.

This one seems to have turned out as another “even more music-dominated than usual” one, which is a shame as I don’t think that’s when it’s at its most useful. Ah well. As a fellow Yam once wisely noted, IT’S CHRIIIISTMAAAS!

Standard disclaimers: I can’t ensure that these events will go ahead, that they’ll be good, or that I will be going to them. Please do not contact me to ask for your event to be included. That’s not the way it works.

Wednesday the 28th of November till Sunday the 2nd of December – The BBC Good Food Show @ The NEC, Marston Green, Birmingham - I wonder if they’ll make me one o’ them fancy quail’s egg sammidges.

Saturday the 1st – The Destroyers @ The Hare & Hounds, Kings Heath, Birmingham - In aid of Jibbering Records’ seventh birthday.

Monday the 3rd – Eliza Carthy @ The MAC, Edgbaston, Birmingham - Daughter of thingybob and whatserface, but very good in her own right.

Tuesday the 4th – The Human League @ The Civic Hall, Wolverhampton - I’ve just (while trying to write this) found out that The Human League don’t have an official website, and that this is ‘official band policy’. Now why would that be?

Tuesday the 4th until Tuesday the 8th of January – Salvador Dali exhibition @ Halcyon Gallery, the ICC, Birmingham - Oh wow. Just… wow. You can buy some, too, if you have a few grand flying around spare.

Wednesday the 5th – Lucero @ The Bar Academy, Birmingham - Y’ain’t from round here, boy.

Wednesday the 5th – ‘Birmingham Storytelling Circle’ @ Scruffy Murphy’s, Birmingham - “For people who simply want to tell and listen to stories.” I still think that’s a really nice idea.

Thursday the 6th – UK Subs / Discharge @ The Barfly, Digbeth, Birmingham - Proper punk, albeit at The Barfly.

Thursday the 6th – “My Friend MEG, The Mindreader” (Prof. Paul Furlong, Aston Uni) @ Thinktank, Millenium Point, Digbeth, Birmingham - Magnetoencephalography, Google tells me. A talk about the future of Neuroscience at Thinktank (spit). It’s apparently free, so at least this is one bit of education that the bandits now in charge of Birmingham’s Science Museum won’t be tearing out of the hands of the general public. Yes, I’m bitter. And I’m not being flippant, bloody ‘Thinktank’ makes me hugely and extremely angry. I digress…

Friday the 7th till Friday the 21st – Hungarian Christmas Market @ Queen Square & Market Square, Wolverhampton - You might say that this strikes you as a poor cousin of the German Christmas Market in Brum, but that’s only ‘cos you’re too mainstream ‘n’ such. There are 1000 free portions of goulash being given away on opening day, along with some stooging around from some of the typical class of local radio sorts that usually stooge around at this sort of thing. Enticing.

Friday the 7th – Jeff Wayne’s “War Of The Worlds” @ The NEC Arena, Marston Green, Birmingham - Uuuulllaaa. This features, and I quote, “a 3 tonne, 30 foot high Martian Fighting Machine firing Heat Rays at the audience and scanning them with its bug-like eyes”.

Fruday the 7th and Saturday the 8th – “The Persian Revolution” (Anglo-Iranian Theatre Company) @ The Rep Door, Birmingham - The tale of The Iranian Constitutional revolution. Said to be dark and sinister but also surprisingly funny in parts.

Friday the 7th to Monday the 30th – “Santa Claus: The Musical” @ The Alexandra Theatre, Birmingham - A little girl strives to save Christmas from the threat of the evil Ice Queen. I hope she succeeds.

Saturday the 8th – IKF Amateur Kickboxing Championships (K-Star/AKA England) @ The Royal Suite, Perry Bar, Birmingham - I thought it was amateur full contact, but the bottom of the poster says it’s open to all styles and mentions Muay Thai, K1, San-Shou etc. I’ve no idea what the rules are, then. Apparently there’ll be some MMA bouts on the card too.

Sarurday the 8th – Birmingham Blitz Derby Dames vs London Rollergirls (Roller Derby) @ Cocks Moor Woods Leisure Centre, Kings Heath, Birmingham - I’m still not sure I understand what’s going on here. I hope Birmingham beats London, though.

Sunday the 9th to Sunday the 16th – “Holly Ghastly And The Thirteen Days Of Christmas” (Screamin’ Voice Youth Theatre) @ The Arena Theatre, Wolverhampton - Yet another one trying to spoil Christmas. I dunno, eh? What is it with these thespians? Once more, may her plans be foiled.

Sunday the 9th – Canal Boat Light Parade @ all down the canal from NIA to The Mailbox, Birmingham - Pretty lit up boats! Some of them threw out sweeties to the onlookers last year. It got busy, though. Make sure you get a good spot.

Sunday the 9th – “Magical Narnia Christmas” @ Haden Hill House, Cradley Heath - (I can’t find a more specific link than that, sorry, but there’s more nice xmas stuff at the other end of it). Go through the wardrobe into all sorts of Christmas-y larks. I’m told the Narnia books are thinly veiled Christian mythology (I didn’t pick that up when I was little, but then again I was – y’know – little. I have recently bought them for a re-read, actually, but it might be a while before I get round to them. I have a big ‘unread’ pile at the moment), so that may or may not please those who tediously refuse to accept the modern-day duality of the thing. It’s free but I think you have to pay to see Santa, so bear that in mind.

Monday the 10th – Rihanna @ The NEC Arena, Marston Green, Birmingham - Umbrella… ella… ella… a… a… honk… honk… HONK…

Monday the 10th – MIA @ The Rojac Building, The Custard Factory, Digbeth, Birmingham - Another disclaimer: I’ve linked her website, but I accept absolutely no responsibility for any seizures or epileptic fits caused by anyone being saft enough to click on it.

Monday the 10th – Carina Round @ The Bar Academy, Birmingham - Oh, I don’t know, I just don’t know. There was once a time when I wouldn’t have hesitated at all. She’s at The Little Civic in Wolves on the eleventh, too.

Monday the 10th - Rolo Tomassi @ The Little Civic, Wolverhampton - I like the one where they go “Squiddleybob squiddleybob DADADADADADA GRAAAGH diddlediddlediddleydiddle…”

Monday the 10th – The Damned @ The Wulfrun Hall, Wolverhampton - Hoary old punk veterans and their ‘first ever theatrical performance’ of ‘The Texas Chainsaw Travelling Horror Picture Show’. I don’t have the first idea what that might mean, but it sounds good.

Monday the 10th – Boxing (Pat Cowdell) @ The Holiday Inn, Birmingham - Look, it’s not just me who doesn’t like dinner shows.

Tuesday the 11th – The Young Gods @ The Barfly, Digbeth, Birmingham - Pending a lawsuit from The Young Knives for using one of their official band-name words, obviously. What, you think I’m joking?

Tuesday the 11th – Gogol Bordello @ Wulfrun Hall, Wolverhampton - Sold out. Those with genuine gypsy-punk skills may no doubt be able to gain access nonetheless.

Wednesday the 12th – ‘Christmas Ghost Stories” (7 Inch Cinema) @ Highbury Hall, Moseley, Birmingham - At Joseph Chamberlain’s erstwhile country retreat (within Birmingham nowadays, of course), this features obscure scary films such as are 7 Inch Cinema’s forte, music courtesy of Nic Bullen and various DJs, an installation by Scott Johnston, and a bar with a fire.

Thursday the 13th till Sunday the 16th – Jasper Carrott’s “Rock With Laughter” @ The NEC Arena, Marston Green, Birmingham - Featuring Jamelia and all sorts of other singists and comedists. It’s all for chari-dee.

Thursday the 13th – Apocalyptica @ Academy 2, Birmingham - Another one of those bands who seemed like an obscure curio about half a decade ago and then (next thing I know) they’re apparently all well-known and such. They play Metallica covers on cellos. The fact that this is sold out illustrates quite a few things that don’t make sense about This Modern Age.

Thursday the 13th – Frank Sidebottom’s Xmas Show @ The Little Civic, Wolverhampton - He’s uncannily convincing when he dresses up as Santa. Had me fooled, anyway.

Thursday the 13th and Saturday the 15th – Elgar’s Enigma @ Symphony Hall, Birmingham - Continuing the Elgar anniversary, alongside Grieg’s Piano Concerto and some of (presumably only some of) The Nutcracker Suite.

Thursday the 13th – The Capsule Christmas Party @ The Medicine Bar, The Custard Factory, Digbeth, Birmingham - With Qui, Moss, Beestung Lips, punch (if it’s mixed by the same person it was a couple of years ago it’ll be potent. Shame I didn’t get any, really…), and (not certain about this, but I’m willing to bet) some cake.

Saturday the 15th – High On Fire @ The Barfly, Digbeth, Birmingham - Beer und heavy metal, ja. Pelican are playing too but don’t let that put you off.

Sunday the 16th – The Pogues @ The Academy, Birmingham - I got far more excited than was seemly when I thought Braggy was supporting them, but fate did its cruel work yet again.

Sunday the 16th – Chrome Hoof @ The Bar Academy, Birmingham - Bassoons, Bacofoil, and what I believe I described as Krautrock-Disco-Metal.

Monday the 17th – The Wildhearts @ Wulfrun Hall, Wolverhampton - I probably should’ve got Throughsilver to do a guest LOTTSADITWM spot for this. Ah well.

Tuesday the 18th – Bad Manners / Splodgenessabounds @ The Barfly, Digbeth, Birmingham - Two pints of lager and a lip up fatty, please.

Tuesday the 18th and Wednesday the 19th, then Friday the 21st and Saturday the 27th – ‘Christmas Music By Candlelight’ (Ex-Cathedra) @ St Paul’s Church, Jewellery Quarter, Birmingham - Lit only by the singers’ candles, which sounds really lovely. You are, however, “invited to bring your own mulled wine and mince pies for the interval”.

Wednesday the 19th until Sunday the 27th of January – Aladdin @ The Hippodrome, Birmingham - Pantomime! Featuring Captain Jack! Or John Barrowman, as some people bizarrely seem to know him.

Thursday the 20th - John Cooper Clark / The Courtesy Group @ The Hare & Hounds, Kings Heath, Birmingham - The latest Curate’s Egg night. I have elsewhere expressed my misgivings, as amazing as TCG may be.

Sunday the 23rd – GBH / Drongos For Europe @ The Barfly, Digbeth, Birmingham - Proper punk, albeit at The Barfly (part 2).

Sunday the 23rd – ‘Scrooge’ alldayer @ The Rainbow, Digbeth, Birmingham - Not a version of ‘A Christmas Carol’ but a myoosickle event courtesy of those Robot Professor lads. For a £4 door tax there are seventeen acts (on two stages) according to the flyer, including the thoroughly bosting likes of Mothertrucker, Blakfish, PCM, and Grandscope. You can’t fault that for value.

Tuesday the 25th – Christmas @ Everywhere - Incidentally, a Merry Christmas to all of you at home.

I know I’ve been doing a lot of moaning on this here blog just lately, and I’m sorry about that. I attended quite a few things over the weekend, though, and enjoyed most of them. This post will therefore have a happier tone.

Thursday night (not really the weekend, I suppose, but I’m sure you’ll forgive me) saw me hurtling over to Kings Heath as fast as the buses would carry me after work, to see Efterklang at The Hare & Hounds. I wasn’t expecting a large crowd for this, but there turned out to be plenty in attendance for another Live Set of The Year Candidate. As with so many of the best bands they turned out to be very difficult to describe. They were lovely, and although I know a lot of people see ‘lovely’ as a weak adjective I personally have few higher compliments than to proclaim something as being a source of genuine loveliness. Sigur Ros seem like cheap comparison, but are somewhere – distantly, vaguely – in the right area. Solid, though, not fragile and floaty. I’m not making a lot of sense, am I? They play interesting, sprawling works, with developing themes and all sorts of different textures. And they wear bizarre trousers. If that’s not enough then I don’t know what is. Definitely a LSOTC, as I’ve said, and yet another band I need to get some recorded works by.

On the Friday night I went with The Parentals to go and see ‘A Christmas Carol’ at The Arena in Wolverhampton, courtesy of Oddsocks Productions. This has to be the thing I’ve seen the most versions of, between stage & screen (and the story itself, obviously). I’m happy to say, though, that this was one of the better – emphasising the silly comic bits and adding more of their own (I doubt Dickens would disapprove), but/and pricelessly funny. It really, really was. Musical interludes from the cast beforehand and during the intermission added an extra bit of niceness, the use of the scenery was ingenious, and unexpected bursts of actual acting took place at times too. It was fantastic all round, and I really hope to see some more Oddsocks plays at some point.

I haven’t completely lost my discriminatory faculties. Saturday night saw a trip to the Wolverhampton Road (that’s in Oldbury/Langley) Wing Wah, and it’s definitely gone downhill. It’s an all-you-can-eat Chinese buffet place, for anyone who doesn’t know, but there seems to be less of a selection than there used to be (they’ve re-arranged it all, but it definitely looks like less), and it didn’t actually seem as nice as on previous occasions. More grease, less flavour. Oh well.

The Frankfurt Christmas Market was visited on Sunday afternoon, which was as lovely as I’ve found it in the past but far too busy. I find it very difficult to enjoy myself when somewhere that dense with people. A nice drink in Bacchus followed. I love that place, but felt sorry for the staff this time. They seemed a bit undermanned.

Finally, it was time for Pam Ayres’ do at The Town Hall. Blessedly, they seem to have rectified the signs (see here). I was surprised by the audience (old. And I’m not being mid-twenties-centric, either – a lot of people would view this as an old crowd), but also surprised by Pam’s act. Very funny (that wasn’t the surprise), consisting mostly of raconteurship/stand-up sort of stuff, into which she sprinkled a few of her poems. I enjoyed it even more than I expected to, which is always nice under any circumstance.

There you go, then. As ever, tonnes of interesting and fun things happen if you bother to look out for them.

This nearly didn’t exist. We had a dead proper computer for half of the month, and I would have been damned if I was typing all of this on a sodding laptop.

Standard disclaimers: I can’t ensure that these events will go ahead, that they’ll be good, or that I will be going to them. Please do not contact me to ask for your event to be included. That’s not the way it works.

Thursday the 1st to Saturday the 3rd – Gigbeth @ various venues in Digbeth, Birmingham - I think I liked it more last year when it was free, but there’s all sorts of stuff a-happening.

Thursday the 1st to Saturday the 3rd – Flip Animation Festival @ The Lighthouse, Wolverhampton - Your chance to behave in an animated fashion. There are a few different things going on, illuminated in PDF form here.

Friday the 2nd – Meatloaf @ the NEC Arena, Marston Green, Birmingham - Part of the same tour that we attended earlier this year.

Saturday the 3rd – “Capsule & Cake” @ The Rainbow, Digbeth, Birmingham - Part of the aforementioned Gigbeth, so you’ll need one of their day/weekend tickets to get in. Amongst others, PCM, Bee Stung Lips, The Plight and Cutting Pink With Knives are playing.

Saturday the 3rd – “Project X Presents” @ The Rainbow Warehouse, Digbeth, Birmingham - Six hours worth of assorted things, including Einstellung, Rich Batsford, Reginald Hunter, Aashiq Al Rasul, and plenty more. Theoretically part of Gigbeth but it’s worth noting that you need a specific ticket for this to get in.

Saturday the 3rd – I.S.K.A. British Opens @ Cocksmoor Woods Leisure Centre, Kings Heath, Birmingham - Semi and light contact kickboxing.

Tuesday the 6th till Saturday the 10th – “Slava’s Snowshow” @ The Hippodrome, Birmingham - Sod your cynicism, this last year was honestly one of the most wonderful things I have ever seen on stage. Really, really magical.

Thursday the 8th – Gallon Drunk / The Courtesy Group @ The Hare & Hounds, Kings Heath, Birmingham - Part of the apparently undersubscribed ‘Curates Egg’ night. I can hardly complain, ‘cos I haven’t attended anywhere near enough of them myself, but you know how it works when we all ignore the interesting things and then wish we hadn’t… (Edit: I has a flyers).

Thursday the 8th till Saturday the 10th – “Reddington’s Rare Records – Music And Memories” @ The Alexandra, Birmingham - A production about the missed-by-many Reddingtons 2nd hand record shop, featuring music from King Pleasure And The Biscuit Boys and sundry other unnamed “special guests.” Sounds like it’ll be different, if nothing else.

Friday the 9th – Acid Mothers Temple @ The Hare & Hounds, Kings Heath, Birmingham - The march of the progress of Engrish advances. When unclear conversion is compared when there is Japanese psychedelia, the heart which is expanded simultaneously is small with method of affirmative quality, which it offers simultaneously. If there is no brain, it cannot understand that.

Saturday the 10th – Alice Cooper / Motorhead / Joan Jett @ The NEC Arena, Marston Green, Birmingham - On the one hand, this will rock like little else. On the other, the chances are slim-to-nil of the whole gig going by without someone’s hips going or their arthritis starting to play up.

Sunday the 11th – ‘Muay Thai Superfights’ (Showsport) @ The Civic Hall, Wolverhampton - The annual big Showsport card. I don’t follow Thai (I probably would if it was easier to do so) but even I gather that Michael Dicks vs Tim Thomas is a really big fight at the domestic level. This one also features the well-known likes of Richard Cadden, Reece Crooke, Liam Robinson and various more.

Tuesday the 13th – Heaven And Hell @ The NEC Arena, Marston Green, Birmingham - Heaven And Hell are basically the “Mob Rules” era line-up of Black Sabbath, which is pretty good on “excluding the two original members least likely to make it all the way through the gig” grounds. Will this fill the NEC, though? I wonder about that. Intense wondering takes place.

Tuesday the 13th – Bedouin Soundclash @ The Barfly, Digbeth, Birmingham - That’s right, them from off of the adverts and such.

Wednesday the 14th – “Meeting Joe Strummer” (Middle Ground Theatre Company) @ The Arena Theatre, Wolverhampton - Exploring the man’s life and times without simply being a biopic, apparently. I will be there if I don’t get Lost In The Supermarket on the way. Lord, that was a poor joke.

Wednesday the 14th – Amy Winehouse @ The NIA, Birmingham - I was going to continue my on-running LOTTSADITWM ‘Amy lookalikes’ joke here, but it seems a bit cruel now. Maybe when she’s better. It was either going to be Pete Burns or a shrub of some kind, if that helps.

Thursday the 15th – The Four Tops / The Temptations @ The NIA, Birmingham - So, between Alice Cooper, Motorhead, Joan Jett, Dio & Black Sabbath, The Four Tops, and The Temptations – is it “Good music but their hips packed up decades ago” month or something?

Thursday the 15th – The Lord mayor’s Mega Quiz @ The Great Hall, Birmingham University, Edgbaston, Birmingham - Hosted by Nick Owen of ‘Midlands Today’ world-fame.

Friday the 16th – Will Haven @ The Little Civic, Wolverhampton - Reunited. I saw ‘em first time around, ‘cos I’m good like that.

Saturday the 17th – AMMA @ The Holte Suite, Villa Park, Aston, Birmingham - Amateur MMA, with standing headshots. The last two AMMA events really have been fantastic. The card as it stands can be inspected here.

Saturday the 17th – The Supreme Cat Show @ The NEC, Marston Green, Birmingham - Aaaaw. Courtesy of ‘The Governing Body Of The Cat Fancy’, which is surely the greatest name for an organisation that I have ever heard in my life.

Saturday the 17th till Sunday the 25th – “Grand Slam Of Darts” @ the Civic Hall, Wolverhampton - I not a darts fan as such but I do approve of it. It’s a worthwhile pursuit, I feel. I’m told that some of ‘em have finally caught up with Phil “The Power” Taylor, so maybe it’ll even be competitive.

Sunday the 18th – Mono/Jesu/Mothertrucker @ The Medicine Bar, The Custard Factory, Digbeth, Birmingham - Mono’s “Heavy like Beethoven” slogan has to be one of the poorer attempts at saying “We don’t see ourselves as an everyday rock band” that I’ve heard of late. Still, this should be very good.

Sunday the 18th – Boxing (Pugilist Promotions) @ The Rojac Building, The Custard Factory, Digbeth, Birmingham - Apparently, there’s gonna be boxing somewhere in The Custard Factory. I don’t know precisely where but I’d guess at The Rojac Building (that’s the only place with sufficient floorspace that leaps to mind) (Edit: confirmed in the comments below). Whichever way up, this features D. Mitchell and Thomas Costello, amongst others.

Monday the 19th – Ladysmith Black Mambazo @ The Grand Theatre, Wolverhampton - Baked beans, get your baked beans…

Monday the 19th to Wednesday the 21st – Frank Skinner @ The NIA, Birmingham - (Insert usual story about him going to the same school as me, only earlier, and teaching at a college I went to, only earlier).

Tuesday the 20th – Mahler’s First (CBSO) @ Symphony Hall, Birmingham - Mahler once again proves that being a bit neurotic is not necessarily a bar to being completely ace.

Tuesday the 20th – Jill Scott @ The Academy, Birmingham - I really like Jill Scott and she was great last time I saw her, but £28.50 (!) for a gig at The Academy is taking the piss more than just a little bit.

Thursday the 22nd – Efterklang @ The Hare & Hounds, Kings Heath, Birmingham - Pretty and minimal sort of stuff. I think ‘twinkly’ is the word I’m looking for.

Saturday the 24th – Muay Thai (K-Star) @ The Royal Suite, Perry Bar, Birmingham - Featuring Damien Trainor vs Rungchai. As above, I don’t know my Muay Thai in all that much detail, but I gather this is a big fight and having seen their first match I’m sure Damien will be boiling over with the urge to set a few things straight. There might be a few MMA matches on this card too (I’m not sure about that).

Sunday the 25th – Pam Ayres @ The Town Hall, Birmingham - You know what I wish? I wish I’d looked after me teef. That’s what I wish.

Tuesday the 27th – “Bach To Beethoven” (CBSO) @ Symphony Hall, Birmingham - I can’t help but be reminded of Douglas Adams’ quote – “When I hear Beethoven I understand what it was like to be Beethoven, when I hear Mozart I understand what it’s like to be human, but when I hear J.S. Bach I understand the universe.”

Tuesday the 27th – “The Best Little Whorehouse In Texas” (Bilston Operatic Company) @ The Grand Theatre, Wolverhampton - You simply can’t argue with that as a title.

Wednesday the 28th till Sunday the 2nd of December – The BBC Good Food Show @ The NEC, Marston Green, Birmingham - Mmmmmmm… foods.

Thursday the 29th – Beverley Knight @ The Civic Hall, Wolverhampton - Our Bev comes home again.

Thursday the 29th – Ronnie O’ Sullivan vs John Higgins @ The NIA, Birmingham - As with the darts above, I’m not a snooker fan but it’s definitely a sport of which I approve.

Friday the 30th – Speakers Corner @ The Town Hall, Birmingham - Organised by Don Letts, this has seven artists (with Skinnyman being about the most famous amongst them) backed by a house band, discoursing on the subject of what it means to be free in modern-day Britain and the legacy of slavery.

Two restaurant trips took place recently, although both are establishments I’ve written about before. Earlier this week I went to the Chiquito in Bentley (between Walsall and Wolves). It was as good as usual and I have nothing to say that I haven’t said before. Definitely my favourite chain restaurant, though. We discovered that they have a magician there on Sunday afternoons. That sounds like fun to me.

Last night a trip was made to Café Soya for Father’s Day purposes (yes, I know Father’s Day is today). This is another one I’ve written about many times before. The food is always fantastic. It’s always seemed quite echo-y and loud in there, though, and that was really apparent this time. Others in our party complained about the waiters randomly refilling some of our glasses but not others’, but since I got the better of it I don’t mind so much.

On Friday night I went to The Hippodrome to see a bit of the Birmingham Royal Ballet, dahling. I’ve never really been that much of one for interpretive dance and I still wouldn’t pretend to ‘get’ it, but I’ve enjoyed the various bits and bobs I’ve seen over the last couple of years. This was the BRB’s ‘Summer 2007 Mixed Bill’ and tickets were my birthday present for Nyki.

Vivaldi’s The Four Seasons was first, given a sporting theme. I can’t say I was enthralled by this, although the little visual joke referring to that famous picture of the tennis player scratching her arse made me chuckle. The Nine Sinatra Songs (a few of which I’d already seen at last year’s Artsfest) were a lot more fun, though, veering between playful and intense like the great man himself. The violent “That’s Life” was great, as was the (deliberately) nervous and awkward “Something Stupid.” Having all of the couples on stage at once to provide a sort of sensory overload during the big orchestral swell at the end of the closing “My Way” was a great touch, too. Pineapple Poll finished things off, a nautical tale of a flower-seller girl falling in love with the captain of a ship and impersonating a sailor to get nearer to him, all the while pursued by the lovelorn potman from the local pub. Very silly but absolutely loads of fun. Happy ending, too.

So yes, I still don’t understand dance (as well you can tell from my attempts to write about it), but I had lots of fun.

A quick round-up post, methinks. I haven’t felt a lot of enthusiasm for doing this just lately (this may or may not be apparent from the even-lower-than-usual standard of writing), but I’m off on holiday next week (hurrah!) so I want to be up to date before then.

There’s been food and drink. Maxine took me to Las Iguanas as a belated birthday present (that’s not so bad. It was only at this outing that I actually handed over her Christmas present…), which despite being a generally South American (rather than specifically Mexican) place really reminded me of Chiquito. I don’t know why. It just did. I had a tiger prawns in lemon type thing for a starter, anyway, and steak fajitas for a main. All very nice. The tortillas were a little bit on the small side, though. Last Saturday, following another nice pie at The Old Joint Stock, I went with the parentals to the Moseley Beer Festival, which (despite going in the middle of the afternoon) I was expecting to be a hell of a lot more busy than it was. I’m told they were a lot busier at other times in the weekend, though. Quite a few nice things were sampled, with ‘Spring Zing’ from Hopback being a highlight.

There’s been music. I went to The Civic on Sunday the 8th. Very short preliminary sets from 4Sure (locals, of ‘X-Factor’ fame. I really wanted to like them more than I did) and Megan Rochell (someone get that girl a pie) passed by without fireworks. Boyz II Men were my main reason for going, although when I actually stopped and thought about for a moment I realised that the only song of theirs I knew was “End Of The Road” (I do love that a lot, though). A few more seemed familiar during their set, though, and they were quite fun. Not amazing but quite fun. Joint-headlining with them and on last was Brian McKnight, none of whose music or hits I could recall at all. Nothing he sang sounded familiar, either, but it didn’t seem any great loss – R. Kelly style “Lots of emoting, very little emotion” type stuff. Last night I went to Symphony Hall, to hear some Elgar courtesy of the Philharmonia under Sir Andrew Davis. I got as indignant as the next man about them taking old Eddie off the back of the twenty in this of all years, but the thought occurred that I’d never actually been to hear any of his music performed. We got “Prelude And Angel’s Farewell” from “The Dream Of Gerontius,” the “Sea Pictures” song cycle, and after the interval his 1st Symphony. I enjoyed the first two a lot, but got a bit lost during the actual symphony – there’s a lot, and I mean a lot, to try and follow. It might be one to sit down with a bit more; perhaps familiarity will make the themes easier to track.

So there you go. Nothing worth reading there, but I’m up to date now and can thus bugger off to Stranraer for a bit. Cheerio, gang.

We went to Café Soya for a meal prior to the aforementioned Destroyers gig. This is another one of those where I enjoyed it no end, but don’t have anything to say that I haven’t before. It’s definitely worth giving a try, though. I love the place.

Earlier this week I had my dinner (‘lunch’ if you really must) at The Old Joint Stock. This has long been probably my favourite pub in town, even if I don’t find myself in there too often – gorgeous high ceiling and nice décor, with a selection of well-kept ales that you don’t find in too many establishments around here. I’d never tried the food there before this, though.

I wasn’t disappointed. I had ‘Poachers Pie,’ containing venison, rabbit, duck and pheasant (all cooked till tender but not overdone) in a lovely red wine and redcurrant sauce. Absolutely delicious. The accompanying chips were enormous (more like potato wedges) and the accompanying vegetables not overcooked (the bane of my life, sloppy vegetables are). If I’m to desperately try and come up with something critical then the puff pastry topping the pie was a bit too crisp to actually be able to eat much of, disintegrating as it did into the tiniest crumbs at the slightest hint of cutlery pressure, but that’s pushing it really. Highly enjoyable when washed down with a pint of London Pride, and I hope to try a few more things on their menu as soon as possible. Russ L Recommends.

I’m sure The Destroyers will strike all of us who know of them as a good choice for the first live act to see in a new year. Aptly, a bit on them has just appeared on Created In Birmingham.

This set (on the 12th) was part of the weekly ‘Rush Hour Blues’ affair at the foyer of Symphony Hall, in the ICC. This is, as I’ve said before, a genius idea – a band playing at 5:30pm every Friday, free entry. If you work in Birmingham the traffic at that point in time will be beyond stupid anyway, so why not stop by? Well, the main reason not to stop by is that the majority of acts booked seem to be ‘musicianship’ bands who go diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly for about ten minutes at a time, at the expense of everything else. Still, it’s a fantastic idea, and occasionally they get someone a touch more interesting to play.

The Destroyers, then, who don’t sound anything like you might imagine given their name (no matter whether you see it as a misplaced scary metal moniker or as George Thorogood’s backing band). I’ve seen them twice before and been absolutely enamoured with their lively and dancy East European/Gypsy folk/klezmer both times.

I was slightly perturbed as we arrived and took up seats - they didn’t seem to have their customary silly hats on. This came as a great disappointment to me, and appeared to actually have an effect on them. Their first little turn (they played for a bit, had a break, then played for a bit more) wasn’t quite what I expected from them - pleasant enough, but a much more earnest and serious sound. It was presumably closer to the original sources, but much less fun.

During the break, a silly hat was spotted… then another… soon enough, headgear a-plenty was in sight. “This looks more promising,” I thought, and so it turned out. From the moment they began playing again they sounded more energetic, more raucous, and more… well, the aforementioned fun. This is the first time I’ve seen them where nobody got up and danced (perhaps not surprising, given the surroundings), but I certainly had to mouth a few “Hey!”s under my breath at the end of a few phrases. They were eventually joined again by Paul Murphy, as they were the first time I saw them. He adds a lot of wild-but-loveable ranting and raving to proceedings.

They really are a fantastic band, and one capable of appealing to a lot of different people who might ordinarily not be regular gig goers.

After that it was over the canal with us to Cielo, as great now as when it was when I last went a couple of years ago. Great food (I had fried calamari rings with a garlic sauce to start and pork & oregano with salami on the side for main, lovely jubbly), cosy but classy surroundings and nicely attentive service. Not as expensive as I’d expected, either. Highly recommended.

~ Russ L, who enjoyed this Eastern/Southern European combo evening a lot.

After the aforementioned boat-watching, the ol’ parentals and I went to Café Soya, just outside the Arcadian centre in Birmingham. I’ve mentioned this Vietnamese place in glowing terms before and will now do so again, since it really is fantastic. We had set menu ‘A’, and for £15.95 per head you first get a plate of starters with spring rolls, those dumpling-y things and those pastry twist things (those are the actual technical terms), alongside sweet-chilli and honey sauces to dip them in. The mains take the form of a bowl of egg-fried rice, a beef dish, a chicken dish (with cashew nuts. Absolutely divine), steamed vegetables, and a plate of sweet-glazed duck slices (I’m pretty sure we didn’t get the latter when having the same set menu for only two rather than three). There’s absolutely loads of each, and it’s all gorgeous (especially, as noted, the chicken ‘n’ cashew). You get a choice of suite on top of it all (if you can manage it after that), from which my fruit salad was made up of actual fresh (not tinned) fruit. I really cannot recommend the place enough.

Less fun was The Copper Bowl, in Coseley just outside Wolverhampton. I went with my old homekettle Matt, after the place had been recommended to us both independently. An Indian all-you-can-eat buffet isn’t that common around here, but alas it was one of those occasions where the food isn’t so much bought as hired for a bit. Putting aside the irritatingly hovery waiters (to be entirely fair to them, we were literally the only customers in the entire place, and hence they probably had to look like they were doing something), a decent (not huge, but perfectly reasonable) selection tasted alright (again, not amazing – just alright) while being eaten, but after a while my previously tip-top self began to feel a little amiss. Matt wasn’t as bad, but did note that it was all sitting a bit heavy on him. Abandoning and paying, I had to ask Matt to stop the car on the way back so I could – ‘ow you Eenglish zay – honk up chunks.

Judging by the exalted terms with which other people describe the place, it’s entirely possible that this was a one-off. I’m not inclined to go back to find out, though, and wouldn’t recommend it to anyone else.

~ Russ L, getting a bit closer to being up to date but still miles away.

The evening out (on Tuesday the 14th, with the ol’ parentals) began at The Big Wok, which was as much fun as it always is. Food! And lots of it (and I mean lots of it)! For £8.99! They’ve added a teriyaki section, too, which was lovely but bare in mind that you have to wait forever and a day while the chef fries the food of everyone in the queue.

Just around the corner after that to The Hippodrome, for Slava’s Snowshow. There are honestly very few (to nil) events I’ve ever attended that have been quite so much fun as this. No, don’t be so cynical, it’s true.

Clowning, basically, with a vague snowy/wintery theme to bits of it (not all). I pretty much loved it from start to finish, absolutely adoring both whole sketches (the giant cobweb being stretched across the audience, for example) and individual little bits (the one clown being unable to figure out how to fold his arms, or the one sliding onto the stage with a shark’s fin on his back while the others played pretending a bed was a ship).
I acknowledge that I’m probably not going to be able to sell it to anyone who is thinking “Clowns? Eh?”, but it really was one of the best things (if not the best thing) that I’ve been to all year. More fun than you can possibly imagine. And I know some of you can imagine a lot of fun.

Should you ever go to see it, incidentally (and really, you should), don’t leave the room during the intermission. You’ll miss some great stuff.

~ Russ L, who wants one of their hats with the bits sticking out the side.