Oh. (Russ L going to and fro in the Earth)

This month is clearly all about fighting, and orchestral & choral music. Maybe all at the same time.

Standard disclaimers: I can’t ensure that these events will go ahead, that they’ll be good, or that I will be going to them. This is just a list of things I found that looked like they might be interesting, so please do not contact me to ask for your event to be included. That’s not the way it works.

Saturday the 29th of March till Sunday the 6th of April – ‘Dance Steps’ (Stan’s Café) @ The MAC, Edgbaston, Birmingham - You, yes that’s you, can perform this play by means of choosing and following different sets of instructions and directions scattered around the MAC. From the people that brought you the (I’ll say it yet again) magnificent The Cleansing Of Constance Brown.

Tuesday the 1st – Beethoven’s 5th (CBSO) @ Symphony Hall, The ICC, Birmingham - Dur-dur-dur DUUUURRRRR! Dur-dur-dur DUUUURRRRR!

Wednesday the 2nd and Wednesday the 9th – ‘Midland Journey: Archive Film Of Wolverhampton And The Black Country’ @ The Light House, Wolverhampton - Showing various films of how it was in The Good Old Days. It promises chainmaking and groaty pudding.

Thursday the 3rd until Saturday the 5th – ‘Days Of Hope’ (MAC Productions) @ The MAC, Edgbaston, Birmingham - A Howard Goodall musical translating the events in The Balkans in the late 80s into a Spanish civil war setting. It’s had some very good reviews.

Thursday the 3rd till Sunday the 6th – British Open Show Jumping Championships @ The NEC, Marston Green, Birmingham - Neigh, neigh and thrice neigh.

Friday the 4th till Sunday the 6th – MAC closing weekend @ The MAC, Edgbaston, Birmingham - The final hurrah of the Midland Arts Centre before it closes until Autumn 2009 to be refurbished and rebuilt. As well as the abovementioned ‘Dance Steps’ and ‘Days Of Hope’, Friday is the storytelling day for families, then there are a couple of days of puppetry events and the grand finale of the MAC On Screen film showing.

Saturday the 5th – Handel’s ‘Messiah’ (Ex Cathedra/Orchestra Of The Age Of Enlightenment) @ Symphony Hall, The ICC, Birmingham - Oh hey they’re playing my song.

Saturday the 5th and various dates up until till Saturday the 19th – ‘Top Girls’ (Crescent Theatre Presents) @ The Crescent Theatre, Birmingham - The excellent Caryl Churchill play. The people putting it all together have set up a blog. This is a very good thing. They’ve neglected to put the dates and times and so forth on it, but still. Baby steps.

Tuesday the 8th – John Barrowman @ Symphony Hall, The ICC, Birmingham - Captain Jack sings.

Friday the 11th – ‘The Masque Of Red Death’ (The Happiness Patrol theatre company) @ The Old Joint Stock Theatre, Birmingham - Poe. And I ain’t talking about La-La’s mate.

Saturday the 12th – AMMA @ The Holte Suite, Aston Villa Football Club, Aston, Birmingham - Amateur and B-class pro MMA, and they’re always good shows. This version of the card is fairly up-to-date, I believe.

Sunday the 13th – Portishead @ The Civic Hall, Wolverhampton - Of course it’s already sold out, you silly moo.

Sunday the 13th – Pugilist Promotions’ “Old School/New Blood” (Boxing) @ The Tower Ballroom, Edgbaston, Birmingham - Fighting sports return to the reservoir-side venue for the first time in aaages. You have amateurs early in the afternoon, then (after a break) professionals in the evening.

Monday the 14th – ‘The Terrible Tudors/The Vile Victorians’ (Horrible Histories) @ The Grand Theatre, Wolverhampton - For kiddies, though, so I doubt it will stoop to the genuine horrible and vile depths.

Monday the 14th – Mil Millington @ Hall Green Library, Hall Green, Birmingham - Go here (and laugh fulsomely) if you don’t know who Mil Millington is. This reading thingy is only for ages 16-25, though.

Wednesday the 16th – Merzbow and The Dirty Noise Ensemble @ The Hare & Hounds, Kings Heath, Birmingham - Noizez. Not, I would suggest, for the faint of heart or the delicate of eardrum.

Thursday the 17th – Lethal Bizzle @ The Academy, Birmingham - If you’re going to this, don’t take any beef with you. You’ll risk losing some teef. And you don’t want that.

Saturday the 19th – The Presidents Of The USA – The Academy, Birmingham - This is one of those instances where I used to adore this band, but (without ever at any point consciously going off them) they’ve declined in importance to me to the point where I’m not really all that fussed. Still: “Peaches come from a can/They were put there by a man”. I can’t argue with that.

Saturday the 19th – Thai Boxing (Firewalker) @ The Light Bar, Wolverhampton - I have no details at all, but if you want to see some Muay Thai then this may be the place to go.

Sunday the 20th – ‘As Seen On TV’ (Notorious Choir) @ The Electric Cinema, Birmingham - ‘The choir with a difference’ a-singing television themes.

Sunday the 20th – Mahler’s 2nd (Birmingham Philharmonic/City Of Birmingham Choir) @ The Town Hall, Birmingham - Surely the greatest symphony to hear live. (And if you like a bit of Gustav, there’s also his Fifth at Symphony Hall on the 22nd).

Tuesday the 22nd – Gogol Bordello @ The Academy, Birmingham - Take up thy caravan and travel.

Tuesday the 22nd – Boris @ The Medicine bar, The Custard Factory, Digbeth, Birmingham - This gig in collaboration with one Michio Kurihara, which may well mean more to you than it does to me.

Thursday the 24th and Friday the 25th – “Packers” (Zip Theatre) @ The Old Joint Stock Theatre, Birmingham - A comedy set in The Land Of The Righteous (The Black Country, to the likes of you). Apparently “a story of pain, pathos, severed digits, mad boyfriends, hypochondriacs, attempted murder, sex and parcel-tape.” Also at Newhampton Arts Centre in Wolves on the 18th and 19th.

Thursday the 24th and Friday the 25th – ‘Blue Planet’ (Manchester Camerata) @ Symphony Hall, The ICC, Birmingham - A documentary from off of the telly about fishies and such (remember: keep friends close, anemones closer), with the Manchester Camerata a-playing a score specifically composed by George Fenton.

Friday the 25th – Wayne Elcock vs Darren McDermott for the British middleweight title (Hennessy Sports) @ The Aston Villa Leisure Centre, Aston, Birmingham - Birmingham vs Black Country, and it’s the big one – the British title. Come On Macca! (Although: guh! at the ticket prices. Almost glad I won’t be going, with that sort of piss-taking).

Friday the 25th – Bjork @ The Civic Hall, Wolverhampton - Well it’s Bjork. Obviously.

Friday the 25th to Sunday the 27th – English Originals @ The Town Hall & Symphony Hall, Birmingham - An English folk festival, just after St George’s Day. This really does look fantastic: the main gigs are Billy Bragg at The Town Hall on the Friday, Tunng and Seth Lakeman at The Town Hall on Saturday, and The Daughters Of Albion (Kathryn Williams, Norma Waterson, and others) at Symphony hall on he Sunday. You’ve also got free sets (Rush Hour Blues stylee) from The Old Dance School (Friday) and Little Sister (Sunday) at the Symphony Hall foyer in the ICC, and a free showing (if you have a ticket for any of the gigs) of the Folk Britannia documentary at 2pm in The Town Hall on Sunday.

Monday the 28th until Sunday the 25th of May – International Dance Festival @ all over Birmingham - Loads and loads and loads of dance and dance-related events from all over the world are taking place over the course of a month, at various venues in town.

Tuesday the 29th – Alabama 3 @ The Wulfrun Hall, Wolverhampton - Woke up this morning. Obviously. I wouldn’t be typing this otherwise.

Wednesday the 30th – Cursed @ The Medicine Bar, The Custard Factory, Digbeth, Birmingham - Sometimes sludgy and sometimes crusty hardcore, but (and this is the best bit) they’re actually really good unlike most of the bands that most of the people who’ll tell you Cursed are good will tell you are good. Good. Tell. Good.

Wednesday the 30th – Boxing (First Team) @ The Civic Hall, Wolverhampton - The New And Radical Dean Harrison Matchmaking Philosophy continues to bare fruit – he’s fighting Gary Reid here, which is a genuinely risky fight. Good luck to him, ‘cos it’s great to see.

It’s back, it appears. To be entirely honest with you, it was meant to be back sooner. I didn’t feel like doing it for May but for both June and July I intended to write one of these here listings posts, and was only stopped by the small matter of ‘me being completely useless’. I couldn’t find enough stuff to make it worth restarting in August, but now - for this most transitional of months – we recommence.

Oh yeah - some of you may be wandering what on earth this is. Checka da archives-a. Before the beginning of a month I used to write some guff ‘n’ gittish comments about things due to happen in the West Midlands (based more on Birmingham and The Black Country than Coventry, though not necessarily deliberately) that had struck me as interesting/fun/worth attending.

Standard disclaimers: I can’t ensure that these events will go ahead, that they’ll be good, or that I will be going to them. Please do not contact me to ask for your event to be included. That’s not the way it works.

Saturday the 1st and Sunday the 2nd - The Moseley Folk Festival @ Moseley Park, Moseley, Birmingham - I really, really enjoyed the day of this that I went to last year. Beer-related cock-ups aside (not that I wish to downplay those. Beer Is Very Important), it was really nicely run and had a lovely atmosphere. The line-up doesn’t entice me as much this time but I’m going to go to both days. Watch out for Tunng (TheirSpace), ‘cos they’re great.

Saturday the 1st – High On Fire @ The Barfly, Digbeth, Birmingham - Clashing with Moseley Folk, but there are of course those amongst the massive who refer to folk music by various sexuality-based epithets. They may be an excercise in Banging The Head That Does Already Bang, but I like High On Fire and their Motorhead-With-Occasional-Doom-Bits larks. It’s Capsule.

Sunday the 2nd – Heart Of England Judo Championships @ The NIA, Birmingham - I believe the phrase I am looking for is THROW BY CLOTHES

Tuesday the 4th – The Police @ The NIA, Birmingham - To quote Atom And His Package, “Sting Cannot Possibly be The Same Guy Who Was In The Police.”

Tuesday the 4th – Chris Cornell @ The Academy, Birmingham - Chris Cornell, however, quite possibly could be the same guy who was in Soundgarden.

Wednesday the 5th – Regina Spektor @ The Academy, Birmingham - Just make sure you pronounce it right. It’s ‘Regeena’ apparently. I know, me too.

Wednesday the 5th – Birmingham Storytelling Circle @ Scruffy Murphy’s, Birmingham - A free meeting “for people who simply want to tell and listen to stories.” That’s a lovely idea.

Thursday the 6th – Steel Pulse @ The Academy, Birmingham - I once did a college course with the son of the keyboard player from Steel Pulse. There’s your fact of the day. Handsworth Revolution!

Sunday the 9th – Damien Dempsey @ The Academy, Birmingham - I’m not sure how this one has come about. It’s a joint headline with Nizlopi (meh), which I’d assumed was part of a tour but it appears is actually a one-off. Whichever way up and though his amateur boxing credentials may be disputed by some, Damo is a fantastic songwriter with an amazingly intense delivery.

Wednesday the 12th – Lucky Soul @ The Barfly, Digbeth, Birmingham - I haven’t decided if there’s anything to them beyond pastiche yet, but I do like this band.

Friday the 14th to Sunday the 16th – Artsfest @ all over the place in Birmingham - The annual massive assemblage of freeness. Generally there’s all sorts of gubbins for all ages going on all over the place, but they haven’t released a line-up of any kind yet. There is a ‘top ten attractions’ here (linked to CIB, since the Artsfest’s own site doesn’t have a permalink for it. Silly rabbits).

Saturday the 15th – Blaze Bayley @ The Little Civic, Wolverhampton - Good ol’ Tammuff Blaze advertised for band members through the JobCentre recently, which amuses me for reasons I can’t quite figure out. This gig is subtitled My Life Unplugged, but I have no idea whatsoever whether that means it’s acoustic or an “Evening With…” type affair or what.

Saturday the 15th – P.J. Promotions’ “Hope And Glory” (Boxing) @ The ICC, Birmingham - A boxing card being held to commemorate The Battle Of Britain, apparently. I’m not sure precisely how it’ll be commemorating it – maybe the profits are going to organisations that help veterans or something. I have no idea. Three title fights, anyway, although none of this will matter to most of us since it’s one of these dinner show larks and tables apparently cost a grand and a half.

Saturday the 15th – Misty’s Big Adventure @ The Academy 2, Birmingham - Local act considered legendary by many. I still haven’t seen them, but I suspect that the Aca2 probably isn’t the best place to do so for the first time.

Tuesday the 18th – Regional Shorts: Screen Test @ The MAC, Edgbaston, Birmingham - Six short films from local directors. Intriguingly, Steve Rainbow’s ‘Quest For Fire’ is about “One man’s quest to find the hottest curry in the land.”

Thursday the 20th – The Curate’s Egg @ The Hare & Hounds, Kings Heath, Birmingham - Less music and more comedy in this installment of what is becoming known as a reliable monthly night of weirdness. Never heard of the headlining comedians Simon Munnery or Andrew Bailey. I’ve heard of Nadeem Rangzeb. A spot of research tells me that “Godfrey Slater And His Invisible Ducks” is Al from The Courtesy Group. And, presumably, some ducks. Invisible ones.

Friday the 21st – The Misfits @ Wulfrun Hall, Wolverhampton - As part of their 30th anniversary tour. I like this band, and so I’m trying my very hardest not to blame them for many of the regretable haircuts we see amongst the youth of today.

Saturday the 22nd – K-Star’s “Shoothai” (MMA/Muay Thai) @ The Royale Suite, Perry Bar, Birmingham - Or at least I assume it’s a mix of MMA and Muay Thai bouts, going between that link and this one. No idea who might be fighting.

Saturday the 22nd – Boxing (Coventry Sporting Club) @ The Leofric Hotel, Coventry - There’s lots of boxing this month. I would presume that this event is a dinner show.

Saturday the 22nd to Sunday the 23rd – GB Judo World Cup @ The NIA, Birmingham - I believe the phrase I’m looking for is still THROW BY CLOTHES

Sunday the 23rd – Hed(PE) @ The Barfly, Digbeth, Birmingham - Now there’s a name that’s a blast from the past. Hed(PE) were like grime-metal before there was even grime, which is quite prescient when you think about it.

Sunday the 23rd – Tortoise M.O.T. @ Birmingham Nature Centre, Edgbaston, Birmingham - Probably only of interest to tortoise-owners (a group of which I am sadly not a part), but it sounded good.

Tuesday the 25th till Thursday the 27th – “Macbeth Kill Bill Shakespeare” @ The MAC, Edgbaston, Birmingham - Malachi Bogdanov’s play about what would have happened if Quentin Tarantino had written had written Macbeth. Feelings of “Hmmm” leap to mind, but apparently it has been getting very good reviews.

Wednesday the 26th – Alabama 3 @ The Academy 2, Birmingham - From the Deep South. Or London, as we know it over here.

Wednesday the 26th – Akala @ Bar Academy, Birmingham - What I didn’t know about Akala was that he is apparently Ms Dynamite’s brother. Master Dynamite-Hee-Hee…

Friday the 28th – Mothertrucker / Grandscope @ The Island Bar, Birmingham - (i.e. next door to the Alexandra – apparently they sell cocktails). Two of the best local bands on the same bill. Huzzah, sez I.

Friday the 28th – Boxing (Pat Cowdell) @ The Skydome, Coventry - Headlined by Howard Eastman vs Birmingham’s Wayne Elcock for the British middleweight title. A complicated path has led to this one, what with Elcock leaving Ringside Promotions for Frank Maloney, Maloney handing the purse bids back, Brum stalwart Pat Cowdell eventually picking up the fight, and then changing the venue to The Skydome. Blimey. Matty Hough appears to be on the undercard too – let’s hope he can back to winning ways.

Friday the 28th – Boxing (Ringside Promotions) @ Your guess is as good as mine at the minute - So, Ringside were due to have a card on the 21st at the Villa Leisure Centre with a bunch of their usual fighters, but apparently that venue has closed down and now the card will be elsewhere on the 28th. Tom Podmore says in The Never-Ending Boxcot Comments Thread that it could be at town’s Holiday Inn or the National Motorcycle Museum in Solihull. Bikes and boxing together, imagine that. Punters at The Skydome will be able to smell the testosterone from there.

Sunday the 30th – ‘Meltdown Metalfest’ @ The Barfly, Digbeth, Birmingham - A strange line-up, in some ways. All of the bands play distorted guitars and use vocals that differ from sweetly singing, of course, but beyond that there seems to be no common thread (that I can divine) running through it. This is not to say that I’m opposed to nods in the vague direction of variation, of course. Note well that Assert (TheirSpace) are playing. They always tear the roof off the place.

I’m not a devotee of Going To The Pictures. I’m not a huge film fan to begin with, of course, but I think that if you are going to watch one then a cinema is a bad place to do so. Afficionados tend to look at me askance for this opinion, but I would more-or-less always prefer to watch a picture at home when I can pause it and have a little wander about when I’m bored, not have to sit amongst the ever-irritating public, and not get seven shades of purple frightened out of me whenever there’s a close-up of someone’s face. So large. So very large.

Still, occasionally needs must. I quite like The Simpsons, don’tchaknow, and felt the need to go and see the film version as soon as possible (I say the film version, but apparently the official title is The Simpsons Movie. I’m don’t hold with the term ‘movie’ in place of ‘film’. Didn’t we move on to ‘talkies’ some decades ago? Plus there’s the fact that it’s one of those terms that gives the impression of Wannabe-Americana when used exclusively. It’s like ’store’ instead of ’shop’ - used occasionally it doesn’t create any sort of effect, but when someone employs it every time it becomes really very annoying. This is an American film, of course, but it’s like they’re forcing our hand. I digress…). I headed on down to the Showcase at The Village in Dudley, to see my first film in a picture-house since ”Hitchhikers…”

Well… It was alright. I was wondering beforehand if they’d attempt to do something a bit more cinematic or if it’d just be an episode of The Simpsons that lasted for three times the usual length, and it was absolutely the latter. It seemed quite loose and slack at times, with things thrown in for no clear or obvious reason (I won’t spoil anything, but ‘Alaska’ could’ve been anywhere if they hadn’t wanted to get the ‘thousand dollars’ joke and a couple of snow bits in; Lisa’s little sub-plot went absolutely nowhere at all), and with efforts to include as many of the lesser characters as possible - however briefly - often seeming a bit unnecessary (I wholeheartedly approve of Cletus getting two scenes, though).

But! It was quite funny. Not all-out hilarious, but quite funny.

So that’s alright then.

I’ve said before that Supersonic is my favourite annual event. Though the property developers may be trying to shut down all the venues and cast a pallor of silence across the land, and though 99% of music fans may be permanently trying to be as annoying as possible and suck the fun out of all that is good, Supersonic stands tall. It’s just about interesting stuff that interested people can go and see. Long may it live.

Friday the 13th (scary)

A pint in The Spotted Dog and a couple in The Rainbow saved standing in a queue in the rain but did mean that Bela Emerson was already on by the time I got into The Custard Factory. It was immediately apparent that there were a lot more people here than there were at a comparable time the previous year, and that remained the case throughout the weekend. I picked the wrong door through which to enter The Kitchen, and walked directly in front of several people filming. Doh.

Beautiful Bela, you were so much noisier this time than when I saw you in February, so much more dissonant and violent. Jagged splinters of cello-ing looped and coalesced into a teeth-gritting tapestry of savage splendour. Playing a saw-blade with your bow was a perfect visual metaphor. What angered you, Bela? Tell me who displeased you, and I will travel to the ends of the earth to smite them. But only if you promise to do this again.

Over to The Medicine Bar for another Last Ever Ever Ever No Honest Guv We Really Mean It This Time Ever Ever Ever Finished Finito Kaput Yes I Know We Said That The Last Two Times But This Is Really It Ever Ever Ever Deadsunrising gig. Their chaotic timechangey West Brom metal always pushes the skin back on the sides of your face, but they did (for some reason) seem a touch less full-frontal savage than usual this time. This, however, allowed some sense of just how epic a lot of their songs are, and you don’t normally get that from them live. I’ll miss ‘em. Until their next last gig ever ever ever.

With The Kitchen rammed beyond the point of even being able to visualise the thought of getting in and nothing due to happen in The Med Bar for quite a while, I decided to check out at this point and get ready for round two.

Saturday the 14th (less scary)

It was Saturday by the time I got home, of course. A couple of naps, a trip to Sainsbury’s and a bit of general pottering took place before heading once more unto the breach. It wasn’t raining this time, which was very kind of God.

The unpleasantly named Shit And Shine (I’m gonna start a band called “You Can’t Polish A Turd, Beavis” in response) opened the day on the main/outside stage. A whole buncha drummers banging out a synchronised tribal rhythm brought Neurosis immediately to mind. Initially and for the most part doom with a trance-like ritualistic air induced by the constant duh-dudu-duh of the drums and the lady intoning phrases in Spanish, before speeding up and adding some more almost Motorhead-y riffs (Motorosis, imagine that. Brutal). The initially solemn drummers were by that point flailing away for all they were worth, and it was spectacular. An absolutely magnificent start to the day.

I nipped around the back after this, to have a look at The Arches stage (in a little cleared warehouse on the other side of the railway arches. Is this The Rojac Building?). I quite liked it, for a venue of its size (huge) – it had a bit of ‘industrial decay’ character about it, and one mighty soundsystem. The bar at the back was selling cans of Red Stripe, too, which turned out to be the tipple of the day – although stupidly dear at £3 a can, The Kitchen was charging the same for a pint of Carlsberg that seemed to have been siphoned from the drip tray. Plus you have an excuse to pretend you’re Jamaican when drinking the ol’ Red Stripe, and that’s always fun.

Crippled Black Phoenix (‘Crippled Black Pheonix’ according to the legend projected onto the screens either side of the stage. Oops.) were on while I was in there, but the little bit of their set I saw didn’t really come across as all that impressive. They just seemed like your basic melodic rock band, really, albeit one with long instrumental passages in the middle of their songs. They certainly didn’t sound like the sort of act you’d expect to find at Supersonic. I only watched for a couple of tunes, though. Maybe hidden depths are revealed if you see/hear more for context.

I returned to the outside stage to see a bit of Strings Of Consciousness. They started using their wide away of instruments to create an attempt at a pretty soundscape, but it didn’t really have much of an effect. I gather most of their music is improvised, though, so I suppose that inevitably will happen sometimes.

After it became obvious that they weren’t getting any more interesting, I gave up and headed into The Med Bar for Voice Of The Seven Woods. Lord o’ mercy, it was busy in there. I was stuck right at the back, pressed against the shutters by an uncomfortable density of other people. VOTSW were an electric band this time (it was just an acoustic man when I saw them/him in February), playing middle eastern influenced prog-rock. It’s a really familiar sound (although no reference point comes smoothly to mind), but a good one – the soundtrack to some Turkish drug-den where beautiful exotic ladies pass around hookahs and clouds of sweet-smelling smoke float through the air. Sadly, my significantly less opulent surroundings were the gig room of The Medicine Bar with 7,123,381 other people sandwiched in (that’s just an estimate. I’ll check the figures later), and it was beginning to make me feel sick. I saw about fifteen minutes before having to bail out, which really was a shame.

I briefly returned to Strings Of Consciousness and found that they’d progressed onto a heavier and more industrial-ish bit, but it still wasn’t really going anywhere. In the name of having a sit-down and finding something to do, I went and did something slightly out-of-character: I went into The Theatre Space to go and have a look at the fillums.

I’m glad I did. Film isn’t really my medium and I don’t often get a lot out of it, but I did quite enjoy the series of short pictures I saw courtesy of 7 Inch Cinema. When I entered they were showing a thing where people on pushbikes had things thrown at them to the tune of The Damned’s “New Rose,” and then subsequently gave us a chance to have a look at: a trippy thing where paper swans, people, clocks and other things swirled around (the colours seemed a bit faded. Could have been a good sensory overload otherwise); “Powers Of Ten” (“A film dealing with the relative size of things in the universe, and the effect of adding another zero” - an absolutely amazing seventies short documentary. Go and watch it on YouTube now. I was glad when people applauded at the end, so I could join in. My initially instinct was to clap, but I didn’t know you actually did that for films until everyone else began to); some sepia-coloured footage of a gang of blokes standing round a tree and singing a blues/spiritual; a video for an indie band’s song involving a little plasticine fella creosoting a tree instead of the fence around it and getting dismembered as punishment (I didn’t like that, it seemed a bit cruel); the video for Modified Toy Orchestra’s “Freeno And Olaf” (in which a soft toy elephant and a soft toy chicken travel over huge distances to be with one another. I love this so much. I’m not being silly when I say it brings a tear to my eye. I can’t find the video itself online, but here it is projected onto a big screen behind them); “A Storm And Some Snow” (did exactly what it said on the tin); “Amazing Tiger” (really sweet animation-with-toys. A circus tiger escapes from his cage but goes to see the elephant before he runs away, and nearly gets caught as a result. He escapes, though); and a scratching demo (involving records being literally smashed onto the turntable).

After emerging back into the light (blinking a lot) and then generally faffing about for a bit (I would have liked to have seen some of Calvados Beam Trio being as they’re a really good band, but I’d written The Med Bar off as a no-go area by this point), it was time for Tunng and their folk come space-rock on the main stage. Surely they’re one of the finest bands of current times, but alas they were having some technical difficulties to begin with (Glastonbury mud in the firing wiring, it seems). It wasn’t the worst thing in the world, though - they may have looked very embarrassed, but the sudden and unexpected interjections of pumping synth bass gave us a new perspective on them. The Tunng club mix, if you like. Halfway through it all seemed to settle down, and their usual gently anthemic glory re-asserted itself. They’re playful and bright but at times also slightly creepy; lots of fun but always interesting too. A wonderful band.

By this point a couple of problems were writ large and it seems worth suggestin’ a suggestion for next year: More toilets (the portaloos from 2006 were absent) and more bins (surely more economical than having people wandering around picking litter up all day), please. If there’s a similar increase in the number of punters next time without a corresponding increase in facilities, we’ll (at best) be alarmingly close to an infrastructure collapse.

Modified Toy Orchestra were next on the main stage, performing at their third Supersonic in a row (”Our spiritual home,” said they). I really do love this group, and it was edifying to see them and their toy-based electronica/synthpop enjoyed by so many at this gig. I’ve said this before, but they really work on so many different levels – grooving, catchy, technically clever, novel, arty, and fun. One of the best sets of the day, and I was happy to get my second blast of Freeno And Olaf in a few hours. I do wish Mr Duffy would stop trying to make it sound all smutty when he introduces it, though, with his talk of “forbidden interspecies love”. It’s a beautiful thing and deserves to be treated as such. I may well write a letter of complaint, in fact.

A little bit of Qui’s set came next, over at The Arches Stage. I’m a bit annoyed, really - I found their Unsane-come-Shellac shizzle a bit dull, but that’s by the by. Old Man Yow (of Jesus Lizard fame) is meant to act the giddy goat when you see him. There’s no point to him otherwise. I’m told that he was charging about like a man unhinged at some point during their set, but it didn’t happen while I was watching them. Bah.

Chrome Hoof were the band that I was looking forward to the most out of the ones that I wasn’t already a fan of. This only intensified as they were setting up. “Wow, they’ve got a bassoon!” “Wow, they’re wearing bacofoil!” (It wasn’t actually bacofoil as it turned out, more like silver glitter-ball material. Or maybe an homage to Birmingham Selfridges, who knows. The only none-silvered individual was the singer, who was wearing what seemed to be rune-inscribed cross between a robe and a maternity dress). I really don’t know why anyone hasn’t tried to create Krautrock-disco-metal (or something) before, but I’m glad they have now. Spectacular, and lots of fun. I do get a hint of a feeling that they’re not quite as grooving as they seem to think they are and the frontwoman not quite as charismatic as she seems to think she is, but by any sensible measure they were fantastic.

It seems that after this there were too many people in the main area and re-entry was limited after you left, but keeping half an eye on the entrance and picking the moment made sure there was no problem. It’s not really surprising – outside stage headliners Mogwai were by far and away the ‘biggest’ band ever to play at Supersonic. I only ended up watching a bit, though. The sound was worse for them than it had been for anyone else all day, but even beyond that they just didn’t seem to have the impact that they had when I saw them at The Wulfrun last year (either melodically during their melodic bits, or woooaaarrrghIroarlikeatigerandeatyou-ly during their woooaaarrrghIroarlikeatigerandeatyou bits). I was half-thinking at the time that maybe part of the problem was that every second band currently extant are attempting to be Mogwai being Slint, but that was just as true in 2006. It just felt like something was missing.

I cut out and nipped around the back to catch Arches Stage/entire festival closers Sunno))). Despite the Official Biggest Supersonic Headliners Ever, there were a fair few attendees for whom SunnOhBracketBracketBracket were the real main event. Apparently they were bolstered by Justin Broadrick of Godflesh/Jesu and Attila of Mayhem for this gig. I dunno – it could have been The Sisters Of Mercy on stage, given the amount of dry ice floating about the place. For the majority of the time I could just see a vocalist bloke – initially in a black cowl, which turned out to have a long blonde wig underneath (no, me neither), and at the end a (presumably different?) bloke in a red cowl. Occasionally a hint of a hand, guitar neck or hooded head of one of the others appeared menacingly from amongst the mist. It did look bloody cool, that has to be said.

The sound , sadly, was not the physical trial it’s meant to be. For those unaware, Sunn0))) for the most part play long rumbles of feedbacky bass, twisting with microtonal variation. Shrieks and screams over the top melt in. It’s always reputed, however, to be a hugely powerful and punishing physical experience. It wasn’t. I’ve heard/felt bass as powerful as most of this set (i.e. a shortarse like me could feel it distinctly in his legs and ooblocks, and a little bit in his chest) at loads of different venues before, albeit not as constantly, and I was near the speakers. It got a bit stronger (i.e. I could feel it strongly in my chest and a bit in my throat) for a ten-minute-ish stretch that started about twenty minutes before the end (if that makes sense), but it really wasn’t even remotely close to the sort of thing I’ve heard about. It brings new meaning to the oft-used phrase “I wasn’t feeling that band”. I literally wasn’t feeling them enough, in this case.

So there we go. Without wanting to sound even slightly negative, this was probably the least of the three Supersonic festivals I’ve been to, but crucially it was still a ridiculous amount of fun and surely better than whatever else you to which you might want to compare it. Thank you Lisa & Jenny Capsule, thank you bands, and thank you everyone else involved. Now I just need to kill time for a year until the next one.

P’Ashton be compilin’ links to all the blog posts and features and reviews and photo collections and videos and such here.

This may well be the weekend where that bloke I work with who thinks Trivium are “the most heavy, hardcore metal band coming out of America” (and, indeed, thousands like him) head off to Donnington to use the Download festival as an excuse to act like savages, but alternatives abound. Birmingham seems to have gone a bit mad with ‘events labelled as festivals’ this year. Between the already-passed Fierce and The Main Event, and the soon-to-come Moseley Festival, Gigbeth, Birmingham Book Festival, Artsfest, Moseley Folk Festival and loads of others I’m forgetting, there’s plenty of entertainment on offer for those of us who like having a wash and hence aren’t keen on the camping-based festivals. A wise man once relayed a trope about the sort of toilets you get there, full of used paper with a turd proudly perched atop like an ark on a Turkish mountain. I shudder, and try to avoid flashbacks to the Leeds festival I went to once.

The best of them all is only slightly more than a month away. Suspersonic, I tells ya, is the greatest annual event on the musical calendar and no fooling. It’s unlikely that anyone reading this isn’t fully aware of the event anyway (and if you aren’t – Hi there! You’re in for a treat!), but I wanted to make it clear that I do genuinely and literally think that. Capsule, Birmingham’s best promoters of Stuff That’s Ever So Slightly Different get a whole two days to play with. This is not an event where you’ll see yet another basic melodic rock group. This is where the interesting bands play. It’s been going since 2003, and while I wasn’t there right from the beginning (I went to the Saturday in 2005, then both the Friday and Saturday in 2006) I am now most definitely hooked.

So, what have we got this year? Well, things begin on Friday the 13th (ooh…) at the New Art Gallery in Walsall, for Metal – A Symposium. Apparently you need to register your name as places are limited. Initially this sounded like the greatest thing evaaar to me, but I’m not quite so sure on reflection. There is a slight scheduling clash (this goes on till 9pm, assuming it finishes on time. The main Supersonic starts at 9pm in Digbeth. If you’re on the bus then the 51 is at twenty past nine, and will take about forty minutes – assuming the traffic wants to play nice - followed by about five minutes or so to walk over to The Custard Factory. If you’re a motorist, you can sort yourself out. I know nothing of your world other than that you all tend to moan a lot), and there’s also the fact that both Ozomatli are playing at the Academy 2 and The Down And Outs at The Market Tavern. I’m going to have to defer my decision on this until such a time when (if?) a list of talking points is made public. I can already imagine precisely what the contribution of one of our fair pundits will amount to.

The meat of the festival begins over at The Custard Factory. Friday night’s line-up typically has a slightly clubbier vibe than the Saturday, albeit not the sort of club you see on Broad Street. I particularly recommend the yet-another-reformation of yam-yam attack-metallers Deadsunrising (mania, distilled and concentrated. They really do make for something to witness), the sublime cello creations of Bela Emerson (I fell in love with her in February), and PCM’s Drum & PushTheSkinBackOnTheSidesOfYourFace.

Saturday is the big alldayer bit with the outside stage and such. Mogwai are the headliners and by far the ‘biggest’ band Supersonic has thus far had, but everyone knows them so I won’t go on. I’ve spoken at length about the Modified Toy Orchestra before (this waffling is as good as any, I suppose), and I think Tunng are one of the best bands in the country, what with their mix of folk and weirdness and wide-eyed-wonder. I’ve also enjoyed Bee Stung Lips and Voice Of The Seven Woods in the past, but most of the fun in Supersonic comes from discovering new stuff. Chrome Hoof appear likely to be fantastic, but who knows what other delights we’ll all come across?

In sum: If you claim to be interested in music and are capable of getting to Supersonic, I question your wisdom (and call you insulting names) if you do not do so.

Last month may have seen a shorter version of LOTTSADITWM, but this one is a monstah. Standard disclaimers: I can’t ensure that these events will go ahead, that they’ll be good, or that I will be going to them. Please do not contact me to ask for your event to be included. That’s not the way it works.

Thursday the 1st - The Good, The Bad And The Queen @ J.B’s, Dudley - J.B’s is not the venue one would expect the new “alternative/punk/afrobeat” band featuring Damon Albarn o’ Blur and Paul Simonen o’ The Clash to be playing one of their early gigs, but there we are. Maybe there was a touch of confusion over the ‘afro’ part of the description after someone said something about J.B’s being a place for people with big hair. The important lesson here is to always be as specific as possible.

Thursday the 1st to Sunday the 4th – Flatpack Film Festival @ all over Brum - Oh yes oh yes oh yay, it’s another pie to the eye of those who say nothing interesting ever happens in Birmingham. I’m not a film fan, really, but as you can see from that link there’s an intriguing variety of stuff agwaan. I may turn up to have a look at a screen or two.

Saturday the 3rd - Capsule and The Flatpack Film Festival present “Known/Unknowns” @ The Jug Of Ale, Moseley, Birmingham - Part of the above. The whole of The Jug is being given over for this one, with a bunch of bands playing and some film-showings and such. Army Of Flying Robots may sound like generic shred-shred-graagh on record but had a much bigger feel to them when I some them some years ago, Bee Stung Lips are a great rock ‘n’ roll band featuring members of nearly every other local group who has been or ever will be, and Bela Emerson’s cello experimentations intrigue me. All that and more - it looks like most of us will be able to get our fiver’s worth out of this one.

Sunday the 4th – Bang On A Can Allstars play Eno’s “Music For Airports” and Steve Reich’s “Electric Counterpoint” @ Symphony Hall, Birmingham - Many-a chin will be stroked, I suspect. Also set to be performed are pieces by Thurston Moore, David Lang and Don Byron.

Tuesday the 6th – Regina Spektor @ The Wulfrun Hall, Wolverhampton - I’m a late convert to her cause, admittedly, but gott dayum if Regina’s “Begin To Hope” isn’t a good contender for my favourite album released last year (add usual disclaimers here). I’m really looking forward to this one.

Tuesday the 6th – Massive Attack @ The Academy, Birmingham - Sold out beyond recognition already, kidda. You’ll have to use the secret way to get into The Academy. Have I said too much?

Wednesday the 7th – Seven Seconds Of Love @ The Barfly, Digbeth, Birmingham - The First Drink Of The Day! Bah-bah-bah-da-da! The First Drink Of The Day! Bah-bah-bah-da-da! Monkeys love beer.

Thursday the 8th – Brutal Truth/Narcosis – Academy 2, Birmingham - Another one from the “Bloody hell, are they still going?” files, that there Brutal Truth. Pioneers in the field of grindcore (y’know, the noisy stuff).

Thursday the 8th – Holsten Premier League Darts – Civic Hall, Wolverhampton - “Yeah cheers” said Keith.

Friday the 9th – ‘Big Love Slam’ @ The MAC, Edgbaston, Birmingham - And lo, the organisers did wonder why people kept smirking at the title. A poetry slam/competition, anyway, with the first round on the subject of romance and from thence on about whatever the participants like. Do they have “No grabbing the mic, no insults about anyone’s babymomma” rules at these things like they do at hip-hop battles?

Saturday the 10th – Amateur MMA Fighting Championships present “The Beginning” @ Bescott Stadium, Walsall - This is definitely worth supporting if you’re an MMA fan, since there simply aren’t enough amateur shows around these parts for fighters to gain experience. The current card can be seen here. Apparently nearly sold out.

Sunday the 11th – Aerogramme @ The Bar Academy, Birmingham - A band I saw at Supersonic 2005 and vowed to check out further, before (in traditional fashion) not doing so at all in the slightest. Maybe this will be my chance. I’ve also since found out that some effort is being expended to get Mothertrucker on the bill, although that’s far from confirmed. (Edit: Mo’tro are confirmed).

Tuesday the 13th – Sonic Boom Six / The King Blues @ The Academy 2, Birmingham - Two bands I think I want to like but can’t make my mind up about. Sonic Boom Six are a rapping ska-punk band with bits of d’n'b and reggae and Lord knows what else, the likes of which there used to be a lot of on the South coast about eight or nine years ago. The King Blues are a potentially fun little two-tone-ish ska band whose singer’s fishy feigned-accent can be smelled from here. Still, though, y’know. Y’know.

Tuesday the 13th – “Animal Farm” with Gary Shelford @ The Library Theatre, Bloxwich - A one-hander version of Orwell’s joint-most-famous book. I want a ribbon.

Thursday the 15th – Boxing (PJ Promotions) @ Town Hall, Dudley - Darren ‘Macca’ McDermott in a qualifier for a crack at the British middleweight title, amongst other fights. That’s the way, more Black Country champions please. Preview here.

Saturday the 17th – This Is Seb Clarke @ The Barfly, Digbeth, Birmingham - Dexy’s-ish soul’n’roll band who sound like they’ll be loads of fun live. (Edit: TISC have pulled out. There are still some other bands on).

Saturday the 17th & Sunday the 18th – A brace of Capsule gigs @ The Jug Of Ale, Moseley, Birmingham - The thought occasionaly occurs that rather than so frequently saying “Also on the bill are Brown Sabbath, who I’ve never heard” in these things, it might be an idea to fire up the ol’ MySpace and leave their page on for a while so I can have a listen to them. Y’know, like ’Er With The Shoes does in her “Gigs next week” bit. The further thought occurs, though, that this would require more effort than I can be bothered to put in. And here’s where we end up. On the Saturday we have the Flower-Corsano Duo (dunno), Voice Of The Seven Woods (haven’t heard them but I have heard many-a good thing about their psych-folk) and Mills And Boon (great messy splattery churning jazz-rock). Sunday will see turns from Young James Long (Pass. Long Young James would have been a better name, though), Copter (don’t know but apparently they have a robot onstage. That’s me sold already) and D. Louis Baker (he’s a good lad with some great songs he plays on his piano and guitar. Also, he’s from West Brom. I approve of that).

Sunday the 18th – Shy Child @ The Medicine Bar in The Custard Factory, Digbeth, Birmingham - Energetic keyboard ‘n’ drum synthpop/dance duo, and supposedly a fantastic live act too. I’ve heard very little about them that hasn’t glowed with praise.

Sunday the 18th – Kickboxing @ Wulfrun Hall, Wolverhampton - I’ve got nothing for you other than the fact that it’s supposed to be happening. There doesn’t seem to be much information around. I’m guessing it might be a Showsport affair (Edit: Here y’go).

Wednesday the 21st – Amy Winehouse @ The Academy, Birmingham - Amy lookalikes (the latest in a 381 part series):
Amy Winehouse
Russell Brand

I joke, I joke, Because I love. And because this is one with practically infinite mileage.

Thursday the 22nd – Hugo Boss “Urban Rules” event @ Somewhere in Birmingham, I don’t know where - Featuring the second Amy Winehouse gig in the city in two days as well as Jay Sean… I’m not too sure about this one. I think the actual gig is competition winners and invitees only, so if you think you fancy it hop over that link and get registered for the compo sharpish. In addition to this, aspiring urban artistes also have a chance to upload their music onto the site and potentially get themselves into some sort of audition. I’ve no idea what it’s an audition for. This all has the feel of a big and worthwhile sort of thing and hence I’m listing it here, but I’m buggered if I know what’s actually going on and their website is toss-all help. (Edit: Looks like it’s at The Medicine Bar, but I’ve still got nothing in the way of solid info).

Friday the 23rd – Boxing (Ringside Promotions) @ Aston Villa Leisure Centre, Aston, Birmingham - Headlined by Matthew Macklin vs former Elcock opponent Vincent Baldassara. It’s looking good for the middleweights round here lately.

Saturday the 24th – Mothertrucker @ Chapter Eleven, Birmingham - Cor, I haven’t waffled on and on about baddest-arse instrumental rockers Mothertrucker in the fashion that I always used to for ages, have I? Now I mention them twice in one post. How about that. It’s like the buses.

Saturday the 24th - The Destroyers @ The Varsity, Wolverhampton - A band who may well have assumed my frequently-waffling-about mantle. Go and see them, really; you won’t regret the decision.

Saturday the 24th – Eddie Reader @ The Warwick Arts Centre, Coventry - The fact that I never seem to include much Coventry stuff in these posts isn’t policy, I assure you – I just rarely know what’s going on out over the East End Of The West Midlands. I heard on the radio the other day that Eddie Reader was once in a circus troupe. I’ve no idea if she still plays any Fairground Attraction songs, before you ask.

Saturday the 24th – Trencher / Rolo Tomassi @ The Sunflower Lounge, Birmingham - Lots of gigs on this particular night, it seems. This one is your ‘noisy’ option.

Sunday the 25th – The Midlands Lhasa Apso Association Dog Show @ The Harry Mitchell Centre, Smethwick - Aaaaw! Dougal Dogs!

Monday the 26th - Boxing (Pat Cowdell) @ The Holiday Inn, Birmingham - No idea about the card or anything. I imagine it’ll be a dinner show.

Monday the 26th to Saturday the 3rd of March – “Acorn Antiques” @ The Hippodrome, Birmingham - “Apparently being spiteful and having lots of extra-marital affairs could bring back my jaundice, so I’m going to be really nice from now on.”

~ Russ L, thinking February is going to be an expensive one.

Originally posted on 13/5/5.

Yesterday I finally got around to going to see the film of Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy. A fair bit of trepidation led to the delay. I’m a big fan of the Hitchhikers canon/of Douglas Adams, but given the rapid decline of his enthusiasm for a film version when he was alive I was a touch nervous about this. I’m not really into going to cinemas, either, as I’ve said before.

Let’s get a couple of things out of the way before we begin. Firstly, a lot of people will moan/are moaning because “it’s very different to the book/original radio play.” Well… fucking duh. What, I ask, would be the point of making a film if it was going to be exactly the same as the book? Why not just read the book, in that case? What is the point of creating a version in (name any medium here) if it’s going to be identical to the (name any other medium here) version? Some people…

Secondly… yes, this film has some expensive (no doubt) special effects. Very good. For those of us who don’t stand agape at flashing lights and whiz-bangs, I’ll continue.

Right then… actual thoughts. This may seem to contradict the prior two statements, but only if you’re stupid (just being honest). It had to go and be a bloody FILM, didn’t it? It had to go and have overdelivered lines, sporadic bursts of massive overacting, and big loud noises/music at annoying moments in the interests of supposed drama. It wasn’t the worst thing I’ve ever seen thusly hacked by Hollywood, but it had its moments.

The rat-a-tat-tat pacing of it was also to its detriment. They tried to fit a hell of a lot into the allotted time, and a lot of things were given insufficient chance to develop or explain themselves. Quite a few set-pieces that had existed in all of the previous versions were included but rushed (the Vogon poetry section springs to mind). It would have been a lot better to just leave them out (although I do appreciate that the film-makers were in a difficult situation – the more you cut out, the more ammunition you give to the mongs mentioned in ‘firstly’ above. Who cares, though?). Worse still, a lot of actual ideas were undercooked. Zaphod operating on his own brain, the malign intentions of this new Humma Kavula character – both hinted at but not explained. The whole idea of infinite improbability – which is absolute fried gold for a film-maker, excusing whatever Deus Ex Machina and massive co-incidence you may want to bring in to your picture – was skimmed over with only the briefest attention.

This is not to say I hated it. There were a lot of good points. Martin Freeman was absolutely fantastic as Arthur – he did, admittedly, play it in exactly the same way as Tim from ‘The Office,’ but in that worked perfectly. Bill Nighy as Slartibartfast and Sam Rockwell as Zaphod also worked well. Having the dolphins’ final message to mankind delivered as a big Broadway number was a nice touch. I really liked the vogons–as-civil-servants jokes, enmired in that particular bog as I personally am. Some of the Hitchhikers in-jokes were really good, too – I nearly leapt from my seat in joy when I saw the original (the real) Marvin standing patiently in line.

Yeah, I did like it overall, even though I would say there was plenty wrong with it. I’d hazard a guess, though, that if I wasn’t already a big Hitchhikers fan I wouldn’t have enjoyed it at all.

I should add that I was happy with the finish. Call me soppy, but sometimes it’s nice to have a happy ending rather than just an infinitely improbable one…

~ Russ L

Originally posted on 28/8/4.

I don’t really like most films. There are various reasons for this, none of which are particularly important. Over the last week or so, though, I’ve watched quite a few (more than I’d usually watch in several months) for various reasons.

The first I saw was ‘School Of Rock.’ It was fairly funny, not amazing or anything. I don’t really have a lot to say about it other than that. Not bad.

The second one I watched was ‘Snatch.’ That was extremely funny. I don’t really have anything more to say about it other than that, again, but I would definitely recommend it to anyone who thinks they’ll be able to see any humour at all in people being killed. I realise some folk won’t.

Next was ‘Stepford Wives,’ actually at the pictures. I don’t really like the cinema. This usually draws gasps of horror from film-fans, but… nuts to you. I don’t like not being able to stop a film to do something else for a bit, I don’t like the prices (although this film was admittedly seen via a special offer), I don’t like the general public, I don’t like the quality of the picture on such a big screen, and close-ups of faces that large never fail to scare the living daylights out of me.

Anyway, I haven’t seen the original Stepford Wives picture, but I would like to now. This one was perfectly watchable and reasonably enjoyable, but seemed to shoot itself in the foot with the tacked-on happy ending. The consistent theme (the fact that what you want won’t be the best thing for everyone else) somewhat conflicts with turning the whole thing into a love story, where what our two heroes wanted most was each other happily ever after etc. etc. etc…

Something pointed out by My Companion For The Evening, furthermore, was that the film seemed to suggest that there is actually something wrong with wanting to be pretty and feminine, with our good guys being presented as the opposite – the Bette Midler character being very slovenly, for example, and Joanna having short dark hair and wearing nothing but black at the beginning. Initially I disagreed with this, but the more I think about it the more I realise she was probably right. My disagreement was based at least partly in the fact that I think that Nicole Kidman was at least as attractive at the start as at the end, and I suppose I have to acknowledge that that’s more a matter of personal taste than any intention on the part of the film-makers. It can probably more vividly seen in the fact that the film has two gay characters, and by default the effeminate one becomes the good guy and the ‘gay republican’ is the heel. While voting Republican probably would automatically make you a baddie (joking, joking, stick your angry emails up your Bush), the non-reinforcement of orientational stereotypes probably wouldn’t. Is ‘orientational’ a word? Dunno.

Anyway, insisting on the purity of the (supposedly) non-conventional is not the same thing as encouraging people to be themselves. Quite the opposite, in fact. I suppose this was a Hollywood film, though, and there are no shades of grey in Technicolor.

I’m not saying I disliked it, though. Not amazing, but certainly watchable. I would like to see the original.

Next on my hit list was ‘The Cement Garden.’ I absolutely love the Ian McEwan novel from which this was adapted. This is rubbish. Absolute trash. It probably looks terrible that the only film I’m really digging my claws into in this column is the only low-budget production, but there we have it. First of all, the bleak, black humour of the book is replaced with ‘lay it on with a trowel’-thick attempts to convey sexual imagery. A drop of milk running down the girls face, for crying out loud? If R. Kelly and Gary Glitter got together and tried to create their own idea of classy erotica they could probably use a few scenes from this film.

The way the picture is shot doesn’t help. In the book there was a strong sense that, although the incestuous happenings were bad for them and would have terrible consequences, the family were happy for a short time, in a way they had never been before and probably never would be again. The dark, dank, gloomy cinematography (whether it was deliberate or a result of budget limitations doesn’t really matter, it still has a huge bearing on the finished product) gives no impression other than what is going on is sordid and dirty. What, then, is this film trying to say to us? “Sleeping with with your sister is bad, hmmmmmmkaaaay?” No shit Sherlock, tell me another one.

All of this goes without taking into account the bloody terrible acting. A lot of the players were obviously very young, but that doesn’t actually make it any better. That the few adults in this showed enough wood to whittle a dozen decent-sized sideboards out of does actually make it much worse.

Bah.

From the ridiculous to the distinctly sublime, the next film I saw was ‘Apocalypse Now Redux.’ This was fantastic, truly fantastic. Anything I say has probably been said a million times before by much more learned pundits than myself, but Captain Willard (played brilliantly by a young Martin Sheen, which was very interesting for me as I know him predominantly as President Jed Bartlett from ‘The West Wing’) sails down the river to assassinate the insane Colonel Kurtz, with his sense of self subject to steady attrition from the horrors and madness he sees. He gets to the end and is confronted with a foe to whom much the same thing has happened – “I’ve never seen a man so broken up inside.” By the end of the film there’s nothing left of Willard – he can barely speak, and his eyes are dead.

You can view it on a plot level, you can view it as a metaphor for war, you can view it as a metaphor for life, and if you want to get wacky you can even view it as his own breakdown projected onto his surroundings – just make sure you do view it.

I haven’t even mentioned the absolutely beautiful look of this film, or the magnetically lunatic colonel Kilgore…

Last but not least, ‘Fight Club.’ I have attempted to watch this once before, but turned it off as it was boring me. Since then a few people have absolutely insisted that I try again with it, and so here we are.

I dunno what I was thinking the first time, ‘cos I really liked it. I don’t honestly think it has the depth that many ascribe to it – the idea that self-destruction is better for you in the short term than (what is seen as) self-improvement, but ultimately is still self-destruction is an interesting one, but not one that is developed to it’s fullest extent – one feels that the jokes, violent set pieces and need to create a gripping yarn were more important to the makers. That’s fair enough, and it works as this is indeed amusing, amusingly violent, and the yarn is gripping. I’m keen to read the book now though, and maybe that will combine everything.

So then, the best of this little lot was ‘Apocalypse Now Redux.’ Joint second goes to ‘Fight Club’ and ‘Snatch’ (despite me not actually having anything to say about it). Fourth place to ‘School Of Rock,’ with ‘Stepford Wives’ very very close behind it, and ‘The Cement Garden’ was the worst of the six by a country mile.

- Russ L