The “Page 56″ Meme

(Idea yoinked from Culture And Anarchy).

1) Grab the nearest book;
2) Open it to page 56;
3) Find the fifth sentence; and,
4) Post the text of the sentence along with these instructions.

The nearest book was Linsey Hanley’s “Estates” (borrowed from Our Louise and resting in the pocket of my coat on the back of my chair), which I’m glad indeed to have read (well… very very nearly finished. The bus tonight will do for it). It’s an exploration of the world of council housing in Britain: of the stigma now attached to what was once (briefly) one of this country’s prouder achievements, and of the ‘walls in the head’ that arise from shutting people off in an isolated and un-mantained area before going on to tell them that they’re some kind of failure for having to live there.

The definition of ‘sentence’ in the instructions is perhaps more ambiguous than one might have expected: I’d have assumed it meant ‘the fifth sentence on the page”, but the abovelinked post that I got this from appears to read it as the fifth line down the page (I say ‘appears’ – theirs is a Tolkein book, so who bleedin’ well knows). (EDIT: Woah there Nelly, it’s been all a-changed).

If, then, the former:

“The LCC’s actions would still have lasting significance in that it was the first example of the state, operating at a local level, stepping in to do what once only charities, The Church and philanthropists had been prepared to do.”

Although if the latter:

“…slum had been demolished, never to be replaced.”

These may not be the most spectacular excerpts (it’s not dryly written at all, nor is it a purely historical account. There’s a lot of personal material about her own experiences in Chelmsley Wood and Tower Hamlets) but it is nevertheless an amazing book that everyone should read.

Everyone should also do this meme. This is my idea of fun.

Lots Of Things To See And Do In The West Midlands: October 2009

It’d really make a lot more sense if October was the eight month rather than the tenth, wouldn’t it? Oh well.

Standard disclaimers: I can’t ensure that these events will go ahead, that they’ll be good, or that I will be going to them. This is just a list of things I found that looked like they might be interesting, so please do not contact me to ask for your event to be included. That’s not the way it works. (EDIT: This paragraph is not some obscure joke. It actually means what it says. By all means add me to your mailing list or whatever-have-you, but sending me a message that specifically asks for your function to be posted on here will not lead to it being posted on here).

Thursday the 1st – An Evening With Joan Baez @ Symphony Hall, Birmingham – The evening they drove ol’ Dixie down.

Friday the 2nd till Sunday the 11th – Birmingham Comedy Festival @ various venues in Brum – Part of the grand Birmingham tradition of grouping together a bunch of events that would most likely have happened anyway and calling it a festival. There are still, no doubt, many chuckles and guffaws to be had – checky here for the line-up.

Friday the 2nd – Zu @ The Rainbow, Digbeth, Birmingham – I-talian jazzy metally… I dunno, just bloody lunacy. They were ace at Supersonic.

Saturday the 3rd – Boxing (Warrior Promotions) @ The Holiday Inn, Birmingham – Presumably a dinner show (boo hiss etc). The latest chapter in the ongoing Birmingham vs Black Country derby takes place here, with Eddie McIntosh vs Quinton “Greatest Name Ever” Hillocks.

Sunday the 4th – Kickboxing and MMA (Eclipse) @ Oceana, Wolverhampton – FC kickboxing and amateur MMA, I believe.

Sunday the 4th – Frank Carson @ The Town Hall, Birmingham – It’s the way he tells ‘em.

Monday the 4th – Boxing (Pat Cowdell) @ The Holiday Inn, Birmingham – Another dinner show (boo hiss etc).

Tuesday the 6th till Thursday the 29th – The Birmingham Book Festival @ various venues in Birmingham – This one actually isn’t as per the description of the comedy festival as above. The line-up can be seen here; there are plenty of highlights, including a discussion with the Tindall Street Press Booker Prize nominees on the 8th, talks about David Foster Wallace’s “Infinite Jest” (timely. More soon) and Will Self on the 17th, a thing about J.B. Priestley’s “English Journey” (with his son and, erm, Stuart Maconie. Isn’t he the fella from all of those Channel Four “I Love The Whatsit”/”Top One Hundred Whatsitcalled” programmes?) on the 23rd, and Karen Armstrong speaking about her new “The Case For God” on the 29th.

Wednesday the 7th till Sunday the 11th – Horse Of The Year Show @ The LG Arena, Marston Green, Birmingham – Neigh, neigh and thrice neigh.

Thursday the 8th – Lethal Bizzle @ The Academy 2, Birmingham – Bring some beef you lose some teef POW POW.

Friday the 9th – Boxing (First Team Promotions) @ The Venue, Dudley – I still have no idea where “The Venue” is.

Sunday the 11th – An Afternoon With Pam Ayres @ Symphony Hall, Birmingham – The afternoon they drove ol’ SouthofEngland down.

Sunday the 11th – The Destroyers / The Old Dance School / The Toy Hearts @ The Town Hall, Birmingham – Three of the finest local fun-folk/trad sorts, playing as part of The Town Hall’s 175th anniversary. The Destroyers are obviously the best band ever and you mustn’t say otherwise.

Monday the 12th – Echo & The Bunnymen @ The Wulfrun Hall, Wolverhampton – The band that actually could cut the mustard.

Friday the 16th and Saturday the 17th – “The Idiot Colony” (Red Cape Theatre) @ The Rep Door, Birmingham – A group of women are offered some respite from their confinement in a brutal asylum when they get to talk to each other in the hair salon. Based on true accounts.

Friday the 16th – “Revenger’s Tragedy” (Jadis Shadows theatre company) @ The Arena Theatre, Wolverhampton – With murder and incest and scandal in general. Also on at The Old Rep in Brum the following night and Hall Green Little Theatre (new to me) on the 23rd and 24th.

Saturday the 17th – Dizzee Rascal @ The Academy, Birmingham – There really is very little that’s more fun than saying “bonkers” in a deep voice. Try it right now and you’ll see what I mean.

Tuesday the 20th till Saturday the 31st – “The Grapes Of Wrath” (English Touring Theatre/Chichester Festival Theatre) @ The Rep Theatre, Birmingham – Waitin’ on the ghost of Tom Joad.

Wednesday the 21st – Therapy? @ The Wulfrun Hall, Wolverhampton – I’m still no closer to figuring it out: how many question marks does one use if asking a question in which the last word is the band name Therapy??

Wednesday the 21st – The Tennessee Three @ The Jam House, Jewellery Quarter, Birmingham – Not actually backing Johnny Cash here, for obvious reasons. Luther probably won’t be playing the boogie woogie here either, for similarly obvious reasons.

Friday the 23rd – Morrissey @ Symphony Hall, Birmingham – I don’t think he’s miserable at all, I reckon it’s all just a show.

Saturday the 24th and Sunday the 25th – Spandau Ballet @ The LG Arena, Marston Green, Birmingham – No, they are playing there. It’s (wait for it, wait for it) TRUE.

Sunday the 25th – Editors @ The Civic Hall, Wolverhampton – I still think “Snowfield” was a better name for them, but there you go.

Monday the 26th – The Proclaimers @ Symphony Hall, Birmingham – I don’t think they’re Scottish at all, I reckon it’s all just a show.

Tuesday the 27th – ZZ Top @ The Civic Hall, Wolverhampton – Ah come on now. You’re looking at me as though this needs explaining.

Tuesday the 27th – Billy Talent @ The Academy, Birmingham – Good quality Canadian melodic punk/emo types, and I just now see that apparently they were originally called “Pezz”. Do you remember those “Pez” sweeties, with their own little dispenser-type-things? They were ace. I recall having one with Goofy’s head on. So, anyway, Billy Talent.

Wednesday the 28th till Saturday the 31st – “Dreams Of Violence” (Out Of Joint/Soho Theatre) @ The Rep Door, Birmingham – Political activism (I can’t help but think of the “blowing up a panda” joke from ‘The Young Ones’ every time I hear that phrase) comes easier than a messy homelife for the main character of this play.

Thursday the 29th – Efterklang @ The Asylum, Jewellery Quarter, Birmingham – A Danish band who make music that sounds more beautiful live than you can imagine, and I’m assuming you’re someone with a fantastic imagination. Go to this.

Thursday the 29th – Marc Almond @ The Alexandra Theatre, Birmingham – Probably the best pop star named after a nut since Johnny Cashew. Or Slipknut.

Friday the 30th and Saturday the 31st – “The Houdini Exposure” (Little Earthquake theatre) @ The Arena Theatre, Wolverhampton – Know what I mean, ‘Arry. A dramatised version of his mission to expose séance Daniel Home as a fraud.

Looks like we got ourselves a couple of readers

In spite of being an avid reader, I don’t very often write here about books. I don’t find it the easiest thing to do; the oft-repeated trope that writing about music is like ‘dancing about architecture” is all very well and good, but A) that’s surely easier than dancing about dancing, and B) a dance about architecture sounds bloody ace to me.

I am, nevertheless, in the mood to mention a few things I’ve read recently.

Cage Talk by Jimmy Page (no, not that one) is a book about Mixed Martial Arts that has really been hurt by its publishers. I’m fairly sure that the author isn’t responsible for the out-of-context Frank Mir quote on the back cover, the “agonising armbar graaagh” style of photo captions, and the terrible proofreading throughout. The inside cover is epic, referring as it does to “Calazaghe” (sic. A famous boxer, apparently. Never heard of him, although I am aware of his mate with a very similar name), “heavy-weight” (sic. If in doubt, add a hyphen), and typos aside it amusingly lists a group of “cage fighting organisations” that includes ‘Vale Tudo’. An organisation, whodathunkit.

All of this has nothing to do with the author, of course (that really shouldn’t need stating once, never mind twice, but I have had a discussion about this lately so I’ll indulge), and the content is more worthwhile (even if I’m not completely sure who it’s pitched at. It sort of reads like a beginners guide to MMA, but sort of not). Each chapter explores a theme by means of series of extracts from interviews, starting with big concepts and questions that hang around the sport (morality, women fighting etc), moving on to specific techniques used in the game, and finally specific fights. In every case, the material presented is very impartial and wherever applicable counter-arguments are presented.

The thing I like about it most, however, is the documentation of UK MMA that it provides. There’s not really all that much in print about our domestic scene, and so the quotes and interview excerpts from the likes of Rosi Sexton, Mark Goddard etc. alongside the bigger American names are more than welcome, as are the discussions about fights that took place over here. Two thumbs up for that.

Moving into the realms of fiction, I enjoyed Patrick Süskind’s Perfume. Grenouille, a child with an unnaturally overdeveloped sense of smell but no smell of his own, is born and nearly abandoned before being almost immediately orphaned in eighteenth century Paris. A brutal upbringing leads to him becoming a complete psychopath, who will go to whatever lengths necessary in harvesting smells he admires.

The main strength of this book lies in its wonderful descriptive writing (I knew I was going to love it when only a couple of pages in I encountered “even the king himself stank, stank like a rank lion”), and it seems relatively unique to me – I know of no other novel that concentrates on scents and odours with such adjectival brilliance. Grenouille’s psycopathology is handled particularly well, too; he feels contempt for the rest of mankind, but aptly only a very small amount of actual spite. His murders were merely a means to the ends he wanted to achieve, and that’s where the creepiness lies. This also contrasts very well with the cold cynicism of everyone we encounter in any sort of position of authority throughout the book.

It’s not a ‘nice’ book by any means (not quite “The Wasp Factory” or “And The Ass Saw The Angel” nasty, though, either), but I’d definitely recommend it. Apparently a film has been made. I find it very hard to imagine how that would work, unless presented in glorious smell-o-vision.

***

Currently: I’m reading “Last Night A DJ Saved My Life” by Bill Brewster and Frank Broughton, and I’ve nearly finished Robert Tressell’s “The Ragged Trousered Philanthropists” and a re-read of Salman Rushdie’s “The Satanic Verses”.

I suppose this would be as good a place as anywhere to chuck in a link to my Shelfari shelf.

Over three months of Out-And-About in one go: It’s the hugenormousive catch-up digest

Ye Gods. I haven’t told y’all about any of the out-and-about things I’ve been up to since mid-July. That’s over a quarter of a year ago.

I couldn’t make my mind up how to go about it, that was part of the problem. Another catch-up post (in which I briefly mention what I’ve done, so that it’s documented and thus actually happened) seemed like the obvious thing to do, but there have been a few things over the last couple of months that seemed to need a full post on their own. Inspiration struck after a lot of umming arring: why not both? Lovely stuff. Most things will get mentioned in a perfunctory fashion in this post. The odd few things that seem to require more words (this isn’t necessarily related to how good they were) will get a post of their own afterwards.

So… one Saturday towards the end of July (I forget the precise date, but it was definitely before all of the rest of the things in this post. 26th, probably, but I make no promises) saw the latest Chess-meet between myself and James ex-Trucker, at The Briar Rose. I managed to win another game! I also lost another two. That puts the running total at something in the region of 381-2-1 in his favour, but I will even the score one day.

Kings Heath’s loveable Hare & Hounds was the venue for the night of Friday the 1st of August (oh my God. How long ago that was…), with a Capsule-promoted Japanese double-bill taking place. The night was spoiled to some extent by a pillock acting like a pillock, but both of the bands were ace. Nissenenmondai made for a great instrumental collision between Can, Battles and Lightning Bolt. Acid Mothers Temple’s set (such of it as I saw – they went on for ages. For a change I’m not bothered about late runnings, though: I think I got my fill of them) was in a lot more of a straightforward 70s rock veign than I was expecting, but there were still plenty of (old) Pink Floyd styled freakout bits. The openers came away with the honours of the night, if you ask me, but both bands were very good.

The 20th of August saw a day-trip to Aberystwyth. Note well, all of you non-regular travellers to Wales – it seems to be the custom in fair Cymru for certain trains to separate, with some carriages going in one direction and some in another. Yes, this had the predictable consequences on us. Yes, it was entirely my fault.

That aside (well, not just ‘aside’. It was funny), we had an absolutely lovely day. Aberystwyth, for some reason, had a great number more Hassidic Jews wandering around than you’d expect (and I’m not making that up). We bought a sheep and a penguin.

Birmingham Opera Company’s ‘Idomeneo’ on the 22nd was good beyond belief, but deserves a post of its own. We’ll come back to this. (EDIT: Yes, here).

Friday the 29th was occasion for seeing Clutch at The Barfly (which you now enter via the old Sanctuary entrance, fact-fans). Beset by unfortunate but unavoidable delays, Clutch were already on by the time we got in there. Ah well.

I can’t really mention any more than I have already that I find Clutch to be The Best Rock Band Going At The Moment. Bluesy and boozy yet still with untold energy and actual fantastic songs, and most of all grooooove. They’re about the only band who can jam as much as they do and still remain interesting to me. There wasn’t any harmonica at this gig (for some reason) and there were some omissions from the setlist (I know this will always be the case for a band with as many albums as Clutch, but still: no ‘Cypress Grove’. Booooo), but highlights like “Escape From The Prison Planet”, “Electric Worry” and “Promoter (Of Earthbound Causes)” were high indeed.

(Other accounts can be read here, here and here. Not sure about the setlist in the last one, though: I’m pretty sure they played “I Have The Body Of John Wilkes Booth” at some point in there. It was ages ago, of course; I could easily be wrong).

For the 30th, then, I caught a train over to Leamington Leam, to be picked up for the drive to REM’s Twickenham concert (this sort of feels like one that should get a post of its own, but I don’t really have all that much to say about it) by the incomparably wonderful Matt’n’Chel. They’d had an absolutely mad weekend and deserve salutes for even being awake, never mind travelling darn sarf for a gig. Twickenham Stadium is an impressive sight when you get in there, although you do get a hell of a lot of low-flying planes heading towards Heathrow.

We arrived in time for the half of “Sao Paulo”, Guillemots’ last song. A shame, since it was sounding absolutely fantastic with added percussion jam and such, but there we are. Such things can’t be helped. Editors were the piggies-in-the-middle. The sound wasn’t so great, sadly, and their already echo-y (ta Matt) atmospheric indie rock was made even more echo-y by the sound and less atmospheric by the bright blue sky and periodic aeroplanes. Still very good, though, with choons from first album working really well.

REM were, unsurprisingly, great fun (setlist here). They sounded a touch (only a touch) more rocky-sounding live than one might have expected, and a fair few of their more well known songs were excluded (most obviously no “Everybody Hurts”, but also no “Stand”, no “Star 69” etc. They have an even huger back catalogue than Clutch, though, so no-one can really complain), but did play a fair bit from my fave album “Document” (“Disturbance At The Heron House”, “Exhuming McCarthy” and of course “The One I Love”. No “Finest Worksong”, though) and even “Country Feedback”. Stipey (as he’s known to his friends), meanwhile, made for an endearing frontman. My only complaint would be that the hurrah-ah for Obam-ah stuff all got a bit Leni Riefenstahl at times. I’ve no problem with bands talking about things that are important to them, but pictures of politicians displayed on the big screens can begin to feel like a bit too much…

(There are reviews of this here, here, here, here, here, and no doubt a bunch of other places but I’m bored of looking now).

The End-Of-August Weekend O’Gigs culminated with the last day of the Moseley Folk Festival, on Sunday the 31st. This is another one that’ll need a post of its own, though, so I’ll come back to that. (EDIT: Heeeere y’go).

Gomez, lord love ‘em, decided to mark the tenth anniversary of their first album (“Bring It On”) by doing a tour in which they played the entire thing in its entirety every night. On one hand, it seemed a lot like pointless nostalgia and smug self-reference. On the other hand, it is a good record and I’d never seen them before. I ended up going to The Academy (bah) on Wednesday the 3rd of September.

There’s not a lot to say about this one: it went pretty much as one might expect. The sound was very rough to begin with but cleared up after the first few songs, “Tijuana Lady” sounded gorgeous, and “Rye’s Wagon” was epic. An encore featured a few more recent songs and a new one, and… Well, it was good stuff. I’m still not sure what the purpose of the exercise was, but it was good stuff.

(Another write-up here).

Life was a Cabaret (old chum) at The Rep on Friday the 5th. Blimey, Wayne Sleep isn’t half a funny looking little troll-thing (and thus very well-suited to the role of the MC in this, of course). Samantha Barks was just-about-passable as Sally Bowles, and (to my surprise) the production didn’t shy away from facing up to the Nazi themes throughout the play, often quite graphically. I enjoyed it.

(Reviews here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, and probably elsewhere).

Birmingham’s annual weekend o’free stuff took place between Friday the 12th and Sunday the 14th. The best bit was unquestionably Stan’s Café’s Of All The People In All The World (AKA The Rice Show). That’s something that deserves another post on its own, though (EDIT: here). We went to a whole tonne of things outside of that, so I’ll just mention the best bits: the Hair exhibition at the art gallery (not part of Artsfest as such, but lots of fun. Anything where you can try on wigs will always be fun); the lights projected onto the wall of the council house on Friday night; Treefrog Theatre’s “Paradise Mislaid”, in which Satan challenges God to a game of Monopoly for the future of creation; MDCC Theatre’s Shakespeare quiz and short-form version of his history plays; the sheer number of helium balloons that one could see making their break for freedom on the Saturday afternoon/evening; the ‘Classical Fantasia’ performance with the CBSO, the Birmingham Royal Ballet and the Birmingham Opera Company (far less Proms-ish than last year, and I’d hazard not quite as good, but it was a wonderful thing to hear our King Idomeneo from a few weeks before singing “La donna è mobile”. They were never going to top the fireworks from the previous year, I suppose); the preview reading of the beginning of “The Bad One” (we’ll come back to that in a bit); and Birmingham Library Theatre Company’s “Advice To Iraqi Women”, an oddly unnerving performance demonstrating (I reckon) the contradictions in a safety-first health-conscious society that sends it’s citizens halfway across the world to die in wars.

(There are probably five squillion things about this across the internets, so I’ll just link my mother’s account of our weekend).

Netherton Victoriana Day on Saturday the 20th was a bit crap (just not enough there, really), but we did get a chance while we were over there to pop into Ma Pardoes/The Old Swan, which was great.

The Approximately Infinite Universe tour bumped down into The Hare & Hounds in Kings Heath on Tuesday the 23rd: a series of collaborations between Finnish and American musical artistes which varied in quality but made for a good evening overall. Kemialliset Ystävät & Axolotl were on first, doing a sort of Pram-esque dreamscape sort of thing that occasionally threatened (just threatened) at funkiness. There was also some drone of the kind I’m pretty sure we’ve all heard a thousand times before. Es and Fursaxa did a really enjoyable thing that could be described as something akin to ritualistic psych-folk. ‘Dream Triangle’ played drone of the kind I’m absolutely sure we’ve all heard a thousand times before. Islaja, Blevin Blectum and Samara Lubelski seemed like the b(l)est of the lot, albiet by far the most song-based. Islaja really does have a very affecting voice, complemented well by the driving wobbly bass that kept surfacing. We had to leave before they’d finished (what with the time having been what the time was and would later have gone on to have been), but they definitely got my ‘ensemble of the night’ honours.

Wednesday the 24th saw me (just me. A gig on my own; usually so common, of late so rare) heading to Digbeth’s Barfly. Punk-funk types Mirror! Mirror! are a band I always think I probably could like but then actually end up thinking are just OK-ish. Rolo Tomassi, meanwhile, were and are awesometacular. Choppy-changy assortments of guitar and keyboards and screaming and clean vox are made to feel both random and unpredictable and perfectly cohesive and right, all at the same time. They’re (yet) another band I’ve written about too many times to have anything to add now, but they’re bloody ace.

(There’s a Brum Live review here).

A trip to The Rep Door on Friday the 26th, for Women And Theatre’s The Bad One. A look at the dangers of repressing emotion and creativity staged in a fairytale gothic setting, the script didn’t exactly shake out a massive number of new or original observations but was very nicely executed. Janice Connolly (better know to me as ‘Holy Mary from Phoenix Nights’) was wonderful, just about (only just) managing to keep the excess of broad comedy on the right side of annoying by dint of strong performance, while Susie Riddell gave a good turn as Jackie (this was most strongly disputed by one of our party), effectively altering her mannerisms to suit the arc of the plot. Good but not great, I’d call it overall.

(Some others liked it, some others didn’t, some others did).

Coldrice! On Saturday the 27th of September, this one was. I’m not quite sure how much I’m meant to say or not: this was the first time I’ve ever been to one of their semi-secret invite-only gigs, at a location I’m absolutely certain I can’t mention (if you’re interested in future ones then you can get yourself on the path to attending with the information I’ve already provided). We absolutely loved it, though – a great atmosphere and some great bands. The Solomons started affairs off and absolutely rocked: a two-piece (guitar/vox and drums) playing a sort of blues-rock (Led Zep writ large at times) with the odd grungey bit. Some fun riffs combined with a really effective sense of dynamics, as well as the singer having an interesting voice (unquestionably American-aping, but interesting. I won’t mention the former thing, though, ‘cos apparently they don’t like it. Nope. Won’t mention it at all). Band of the night were fellow locals-playing-American, Black Mekon. I’ve already mentioned my like for them elsewhere, what with their high energy rock’n’roll and such. It almost feels like I’m damning them with feint praise (since so many bands can be described thusly) but they were genuinely energetic, genuinely rocking and to reasonably authentically rolling. Also: masks. The Jam Messengers (AKA Rob K & Uncle Blucher) were on last, the leastmost band of the night in terms of music (although amazing considering that they were a two-piece consisting of one guy singing and one guy playing guitar, singing the backing vocals and pedalling the hi-hat and the kick-drum) but a massive, massive, massive amount of fun. They could easily have been irritatingly wacky, but your man’s peace-and-love-and-sex spreading preacherman vibe was hugely entertaining. Also: they were spitting images of Prince & Dave Gorman.

Stevie Wonder returned to Birmingham for the second time in just over month (his first European tour in lord-knows how long, but his second Birmingham gig within it) and we had the pleasure of being there (after a second visit to “Of All The People In All the World”. I will be coming back to that in a subsequent post, I promise. [EDIT: As above, here]). He was more or less exactly as you’d expect Stevie Wonder to be, which is – needless to say – very good. Also: he’s still blind. There was a slight touch of too much soloing at times (oh hey lets introduce the band and let them all have a go at it in the usual boring-as-motherfork fashion), some outright bizarre things going on here and there (getting the promoter onstage for an applause at the end), but mostly really good. There were obviously highlights a-plenty, perhaps predictably including “Signed Sealed Delivered”, “Superstition”, an amazing rendition of “Higher Ground”, and why y’know I actually like “I Just Called To Say I Love You”.

(Most of the reviews that I can find online relate to his other Birmingham gig a month before, but there is this and this).

My first ever trip to The Glee Club took place on Wednesday the 8th, to see Mark Steel (why do I always get such a strong urge to add an ‘E’ onto the end of his surname?). For me, this will forever be remembered as the night my beau was described as ‘The Most Pedantic Woman In The Midlands’ by a famous comedian. Nothing else I could say would even come close to living up to that. Steel-y boy was very funny, anyway; this show discussed how a 40-something goes about squaring up his leftiness with everything else going on in life, and was very clever as well as being hugely and warmly humorous.

(There’s a review here).

The lefty-comedian jamboree continued on Tuesday the 14th, with Mark Thomas at Adrian Boult Hall (as part of The Birmingham Book Festival), although this wasn’t a stand-up comedy set as such. Still hugely funny, he talked about his new book and read bits out before answering questions. Hilariously, Coca-Cola (y’know, the multi-squillion-billion-unit-of-currency-makers) seem to think that he’s “picking on” them. The real world continues to lampoon itself far more effectively than any satire ever could.

It was to Birmingham Symphony Hall on Wednesday the 15th, for another genuine legend in the form of Stephen Stills. I’m only really familiar with odd bits of his 30+ year cannon and so a lot of what he played was far less familiar to me than (it seemed to be) with the vast majority of the audience, but naturally I enjoyed it no less. It was a game of two halves (Oh, Greavsie. Silly Tory), with the first half (acoustic with occasional band accompaniment) sounding fantastic and achieving particular heights during “Treetop Flyer” and “Suite: Judy Blue Eyes”. His age did seem to be catching up with his voice at a few points, but literally (and happily) only at a few points. The electric/rockier latter half (after an interval) had long spells of what were little-more than strings of standard pub-rock/blues-rock clichés, but certainly still had its moments. The closing “For What It’s Worth” was great, as was the encore of “Love The One You’re With” (its quite bizarre lyrics aside). Definite enjoyment.

(Another account here).

The Roots Manuva gig at the ever-sickening Academy 2 was the place to be (or just the place we were, possibly) on Friday the 17th, even though the venue does get my vote for worst gig room going (even worse than the main Academy room). Good lord was it hot in there, even if we did end up moving to another part of the room where it was even hotter and there was even less space halfway through. Sigh. I was surprised to find that Rodney didn’t have a band this time (he has both of the previous times of seen him), instead going for the DJ + sidefolks approach. This has to be the leastmost Roots Manuva gig I’ve yet been too, but he it was still reasonable grooving fun. “Witness (1 Hope)” absolutely tore the place apart, naturally. It always does. His weed-addled between-song speeches about buying “two trainers” (pairs or individual shoes? I suppose we’ll never know) were as endearing as ever.

The UFC card at the NIA on Saturday the 18th unquestionably deserves a post of its own. Unquestionably. (EDIT: here we are).

The book festival rolled on, and Carol Ann Duffy graced Adrian Boult Hall on Tuesday the 21st. I love Carol Ann Duffy, writing as she does lines that are often witty, and always extremely clever but never obscure. This evening consisted just of readings, with no chance for audience questions or anything. There seemed to be quite a few poems from “The World’s Wife” (I have read that, but years ago), as well as a sequence from Rapture (which I absolutely adore. It didn’t include “Give” from that volume, though, my joint-absolute-favourite of hers alongside “Deportation”). I can’t say she has a great voice for reading, sadly, but you acclimatise.

An afternoon off work was booked for Thursday the 23rd, to go and see Tony Benn at The Grand in Wolverhampton (‘orrible theatre, but never mind). I don’t believe in heroes, but if I did then good ol’ ‘Tone would be one. Bless him, the man is a legend. He’s fairly deaf these days (there was something akin to donkey chaos when you combine this with the fact that questions from the audience were coming from both the balcony and the floor but with neither of the theatre-employees carrying the microphone knowing who should go next), but every bit as sharp-witted, passionately humane and committed as ever. An example to us all. I really, really enjoyed this afternoon. His phrase about democracy taking power away from the market place and into the polling station/away from the wallet and into the ballot was brilliant.

Capsule struck again on Friday the 24th, this time at The Hare & Hounds. Bilge Pump opened, sounding not quite as funky as I seem to recall them from the first time I saw them but still pretty good. They were something akin (in broad terms) to Gang Of Four adding funk and stadium rock parts. This is, of course, a likeable thing. Beestung Lips seem to be everyone’s favourite band nowadays, and as far as gestalt decisions go I don’t think that’s a bad one. They’re like a high-speed Jesus Lizard drooling the amphetamine back out of their mouths, or maybe a something someone doing something possibly to someone else or something. Half of the fun is deflecting the bodies flying around the dancefloor away from yourself, obviously.
I had to leave halfway through big-time touring American headliners Oxes, but they were OK with their math(s)-post-rock instrumental doodling lark (yes, that’s right: mathS). I’d been led to believe beforehand that they’re use of boxes was more exciting than as a little platform to get on and off the stage with, but there we are. I approve of having a nice little rug on stage when you play. I approve of this most strongly.

I got quite excited when I heard that Gabrielle was supporting Al Green at The NIA on the 28th, with thoughts of hi-larious “ghost/toast” lyrics to laugh at. It was then pointed out to me that I was getting her confused with Des’Ree. Oh well. Gabrielle turned out to be as bland as you’d expect.

The Reverend Al Green looked a lot more sprightly than I remember him being the last time I saw him, although still every bit as Cosbyesque. I’m getting to know what an Al Green gig consists of by now: highlights as ever included “Let’s Get Married”, “Let’s Stay Together”, “Everything’s Gonna Be Alright”, “Tired Of Being Alone”, lots of roses handed out to lucky ladies, a selection of little bits of other peoples’ songs he loves, and of course the closing “Love And Happiness” with the horn riffs that work so well live. Familiarity does not breed, contempt, of course (and nor does a lack of “Take Me To The River”) – this was magnificent a life-affirmingly joyful. Probably the second best time I’ve seen him: better than last time, but not as good as that first one at Symphony Hall.

(More reports here and here).

That brings us to the end of October, which seems like a perfectly sensible place to stop being as we’re at the end of October. Henceforth I’ll try to keep up to date.

Maybe.

Lots Of Things To See And Do In The West Midlands: October 2008

Festival~!

Standard disclaimers: I can’t ensure that these events will go ahead, that they’ll be good, or that I will be going to them. This is just a list of things I found that looked like they might be interesting, so please do not contact me to ask for your event to be included. That’s not the way it works.

Until Sunday the 5th – “Of All The People In All The World” (Stan’s Café) @ A.E. Harris Factory, The Jewellery Quarter, Birmingham – Also known as The Rice Show and acclaimed by many (including me) to be The Actual Best Thing Ever.

Wednesday the 1st till Friday the 24th – Birmingham Book Festival @ various venues in Birmingham – Brum’s annual literary festival (festival~!). There’s lots of interesting stuff a-scheduled – read on down.

Friday the 3rd till Sunday the 12th – Birmingham Comedy Festival @ various venues, Birmingham – The annual comedy festival (festival~!). Some annoying nonsense, but good stuff too – highlights include a Curates Egg do with John Cooper Clarke at The Hare & Hounds on the 3rd, and Mark Steel at The Glee Club on the 8th.

Saturday the 4th – “Space Day” @ Birmingham University, Edgbaston, Birmingham – LOOOST IN SPAAACE! All sorts of extra-planetary physics-based fun.

Saturday the 4th – Van Morrison @ Symphony Hall, Birmingham – Like the good ol’ strict ‘n’ stern Ulster protestant he is, Van The Man has decreed that no alcohol is to be sold at this gig. I wouldn’t go so far as to proclaim that this heralds the death of personal freedom, though.

Saturday the 4th – Stevie Wonder @ The NIA, Birmingham – Ooh, I’m really looking forward to this one.

Saturday the 4th – “Steve Coogan Is Alan Partridge and Other Less Successful Characters” @ The Civic Hall, Wolverhampton – You’ve got to love that for tour-naming.

Saturday the 4th – The Ting Tings @ The Academy, Birmingham – Already sold out, although we’ve heard that one before from The Ting Tings.

Saturday the 4th – Muay Thai @ The Light Bar, Wolverhampton – Knees knees knees! Wolves’ Firewalker gym vs Leeds’ Bad Company gym.

Wednesday the 5th of October until Thursday the 6th of November – Birmingham Early Music Festival @ Various festivals in Birmingham – A festival (festival~!) of Rites And Revels.

Sunday the 5th – Balti In The Park @ Balsall Heath park, Balsall Heath, Birmingham – Mostly, food. But also live music. And stalls. And face painting. But mostly food.

Tuesday the 7th – Stevie Winwood @ The Wulfrun Hall, Wolverhampton – Still keeping on running, after all this time.

Wednesday the 8th until Saturday the 11th – “The Boy With The Bomb In His Crisps” (Mad Half Hour) @ The Belgrade Theatre, Coventry – A play based on the tales of people who have journeyed to Coventry and Colchester. The story behind the (absolutely magnificent) title is here.

Wednesday the 8th till Sunday the 12th – Horse Of The Year Show @ The NEC, Marston Green, Birmingham – A horse is a horse, of course, of course…

Thursday the 9th – The Streets @ The Academy, Birmingham – Apparently he talks about fields and countryside and such on this new album. Pastoral Streets, what a notion.

Saturday the 11th – Billy Ocean @ The Academy, Birmingham – Aaaaw, he’s just so cuddly.

Monday the 13th till Friday the 17th – “Romeo And Juliet” (Shakespeare’s Globe) @ The Custard Factory – I have no concrete info, but apparently this may or may not be happening. Matinee performances only though, according to the information Nyki Getgood has acquired over at that link. On weekdays. Fantastic planning, there.

Monday the 13th – Cyndi Lauper @ Symphony Hall, Birmingham – Just wants to do something-or-other.

Tuesday the 14th – Polarbear: “If I Cover My Nose You Can’t See Me” @ The Rep Door, Birmingham – Hip-hop based storytelling. I’ve heard many good things about this.

Tuesday the 14th – Mark Thomas @ The Conservatoire, Birmingham – Part of the Birmingham Book Festival. This show is based around Mighty Mark’s looking into the ways and doings of Coca-Cola.

Wednesday the 15th – Stephen Stills @ Symphony Hall, Birmingham – Ah well now you see the thing here was that I was going to go to this and then I wasn’t and now I am again but all the time I thought I’d never heard any of his music outside of Crosby Stills And Nash And/Or Young but it turns out that “Love The One You’re With” which I liked but didn’t know who it was by was actually by him. So that was quite good. Yes.

Wednesday the 15th – Elbow @ The Civic Hall, Wolverhampton – The band that beat Burial in the big national music quiz or whatever it was. Haven’t listened to this new album that they got the honours for, but they were lovely when I last saw/heard them a few years ago.

Wednesday the 15th – Spiritualized @ The Academy, Birmingham – Without the gospel singers this time, if I’m correct, but still bound to be amazing.

Thursday the 16th – Will Self @ The Conservatoire, Birmingham – Why if it ain’t young Billy Self in the best of health. Author, journalist, raconteur, cultural pundit, and Birmingham Book Festival performer.

Friday the 17th – Roots Manuva @ The Academy 2, Birmingham – Summonin’ up the power of Banana Clan.

Friday the 17th – Black Diamond Heavies / The Solomons @ The Dragon Bar, The Barfly, Digbeth, Birmingham – Another night of blues ‘n’ roll brought to you by them Coldrice reprobates.

Saturday the 18th – UFC 89 @ The NIA, Birmingham – Headlined by Mike Bisping vs Chris Leben (Bisping, sub, R2. Yes that’s right I said ‘sub’), and also featuring the UFC debut of longtime fave of mine Dan Hardy (against Akihiro Gono. Hardy by decision). Speaking of longtime faves of mine, Paul ‘The Relentlessly Saddling Yampy Terminator’ Taylor (you know, the one from God’s Chosen Black Country) will also be fighting Chris Lytle (Taylor, decision).

Saturday the 18th – The Creeping Nobodies / The Courtesy Group @ The Hare & Hounds, Kings Heath, Birmingham – A Curates Egg night, so quality is assured.

Sunday the 19th – Scorpions @ The Civic Hall, Wolverhampton – Whistle whistle, whistle whuh-whuh-whistle-whistle…

Tuesday the 21st – Carol Ann Duffy @ The Conservatoire, Birmingham – Again as part of the Birmingham Book Festival. One of the best contemporary poets, with recent controversy to boot. If you’re really a fan then you can also attend a discussion of her work led by Roz Goddard on the 9th.

Wednesday the 22nd – Eddie Reader @ The Town Hall, Birmingham – Your lady there who used to be in the wonderful wonderful wonderful (‘Perfect’, even) Fairground Attraction.

Wednesday the 22nd – Seth Lakeman @ The Wulfrun Hall, Wolverhampton – More fiddling folking fun with Seff.

Thursday the 23rd until Sunday the 26th – “Hello Digital” @ Various places in Birmingham, Wolverhampton and Hereford – The Midlands’ first digital festival (festival~!), apparently, although I don’t myself have any idea at all about precisely what is meant to connect this seemingly disparate string of events. Some of it looks interesting, though, such as the Field Of Light at Millennium Point and Capsule’s Big Up The Metalz thingy at Wolves Art Gallery.

Thursday the 23rd – An Audience With Tony Benn @ The Grand Theatre, Wolverhampton – Tony ‘Uncle’ Benn, speaking of the days when Labour was real Labour.

Thursday the 23rd – A. C. Grayling @ The Conservatoire, Birmingham – Another book festival affair. Grayling considers and speaks on the subject of reading, particularly as a “critical, challenging and subversive process”.

Friday the 24th – Capsule Night @ The Hare & Hounds, Kings Heath, Birmingham – Watch Oxes on boxes, shake your hips to Bee Stung Lips, and do The Bump to Bilge Pump.

Friday the 24th – Boxing (First Team) @ The Civic Hall, Wolverhampton – Not sure who will be fighting on this one, but it’ll no doubt include some of our local faves. (EDIT: Seems to be cancelled).

Sunday the 26th – Lau-Gar King Fu National Championships @ Cocks Moor Woods Leisure Centre, Kings Heath, Birmingham – Hai- and indeed –Ya.

Tuesday the 28th – Al Green @ The NIA, Birmingham – The Reverend Al Green, ladies and gentlemen.

Tuesday the 28th – Slayer @ The NEC, Marston Green, Birmingham – And if you fancy an arena gig that couldn’t be more different to Al Green, there’s always Slayaaaarrrrgh. (EDIT: Alright, so no an arena gig: it’s been moved to The Civic).

Wednesday the 29th – Feed The Birds @ Woodgate Valley Country Park, Bartley Green, Birmingham – The rangers show you how to make a feeder and feed the birdies properly, for free.

Friday the 31st – Boxing (Sports Network) @ The Aston Events Centre, Aston, Birmingham – Pity poor old Uncle Frankie; Calzaghe’s left him and Khan got splattered across the canvas. Every ticket sale for this event is vital. He might not be able to afford this week’s ivory backscratcher otherwise. Also: Macklin/Broadhurst/Costello etc.

Tee hee hee new toy

Oh, how I thank Madam Careless for alerting the unalert amongst us to the existence of LibraryThing.

It’s a book-based version of that Record Nerd website, which always appealed to me but I never bothered with (what do you do about taped albums and downloads and so on? I wasn’t going to have that keeping me awake at night). You’ve either got a book or you ain’t, though, so this is perfect. The only problem I’ve found so far is that it’s sometimes not possible to get the correct edition displayed. Who knew that I’d be bothered by that? The things you learn.

The actual cataloguing process is strangely relaxing, too. I’ve done one shelf and I’m about to get stuck into some more before I head outwards for Artsfest. The work-in-progress list is here. It’ll probably be a fair old while before it’s finished.

This is so much fun. And yes, I am a nerd.

EDIT/UPDATE: Ah, nuts. You can only put 200 books on unless you pay $10 per year, and I’ve hit that limit already with lots left to go. Hmmm. I will have to think about this. I know it’s not much but I’m loathe to pay anything for webcrap that’s similar to other webcrap that’s free.

Plus their alphabetical listings for authors are a bit wonky.

Plus none of the searches do very well at picking up old children’s books.

EDIT/UPDATE from much, much later: Sod Librarything, Shelfari is where it’s at.

Miscellaneous Bits

Russ L’s top five tunes of right now this minute, presented in exciting reverse order:

5) Whitney Houston – I Wanna Dance With Somebody
4) Can – Vitamin C
3) Beyonce – Get Me Bodied
2) Rip Rig & Panic – You’re My Kind Of Climate
1) Copter – Testify

~ ~ ~

Any regular look-er at-er of this blog who doesn’t actually know me in person (there are millions, I tell you. Millions. I am not merely shouting into a void, irrespective of what appearances might suggest) might not realise that I’m an avid reader. I don’t tend to find easy to write about, you see. Speak all you will regarding dancing about architecture, but I’m even less able to dance about dance. Or talk about talk. The only thing about me, in fact, is the way I walk. That way is ‘about walk’, obviously. It’s quite the stride.

As the Brownian motion of this swirl of Authentic Russ L Gibberish loses momentum and we bob gently towards the actual point, I bring this up as a way of getting around to dropping two pieces of science: A) The Artist Formerly Known As The Shiny Shoed Concert Slattern now be spreading the word heavy about literature (The Tatty Trainered Book Tart?); B) Read Stephen Hawkin’s “A Brief History Of Time.” Yes, I know, but I’m telling you. It doesn’t deserve to be remembered as the book that people buy just to put on their shelf to try and look clever. It explains obscenely complex things in an understandable way. Plus: light cones. My mind=blown. If you don’t think a diagrammatic representation all possible causal future and past isn’t amongst the top ten most reeking-of-awesomeness things evaaar then I question the working condition of your reekingofawesomenessdar.

~ ~ ~

Whupped again at chess by Smilin’ James Trucker on Sunday morning, but, but, but… I actually won a game! It was three games to one in his favour by the time we’d finished, but I’ll always remember my first victory over him.

~ ~ ~

Great things on Wikipedia #381 – On Blue Eyed Soul: “The term is a misnomer, in that the artists don’t all have blue eyes.”

~ ~ ~

Prediction: Gonzaga beats Couture, stoppage from strikes, round four. Hope: St Pierre beats Koscheck, fist clean through head, round one.

Other things you can use your internet machine to view

I’m getting way behind again. Fortunately, there are other things you can look at instead. I’m glad that the rest of the world is willing to cover for me like this.

Perhaps the most important is Pete Ashton’s new local arts blog, Created In Birmingham. He’s actually getting paid to do this, the jammy swine. Couldn’t have happened to a nicer bloke, though.

Throughtinfoil’s Albums Of 2005 project continues apace, now as far as no #31. He’s got far enough in to talk about records he actually likes rather than just vaguely begrudgingly accepts, which is heartening to see.

More conventional best lists of the current year are beginning to come out and about. I approve of Fimoculous’ “Best Blogs Of 2006 That You (Maybe) Aren’t Reading” putting Indexed in first place, since I’ve been into that one for a while. I’m nonplussed (but not surprised) by DoCopenhagen’s “Top 50 Music Videos Of 2006” putting OK Go’s “Here It Goes Again” at number one. There’s probably another post to be spun out of this, but am I really the only person that doesn’t find it particularly funny? I know I can be a humourless git at times, but still…

Nicholas Kristof accuses Richard Dawkins of fundamentalism. Dawkins and others patiently explain that “Mr. Kristof has simply become acclimatized to the convention that you can criticize anything else but you mustn’t criticize religion. Ears calibrated to this norm will hear gentle criticism of religion as intemperate, and robust criticism as obnoxious” in return. (Edit: Obviously this does not apply in all circumstances. Clearly there are some contexts in which it’s practically obligatory to criticise religion in strong terms, and anything less will be seen as pandering).

Eric ‘I like pies, me’ Pele beats the biggest Brazilian I’ve ever seen in real life and controversy ensues over the stoppage. I really did not see that one coming. Elsewhere on the same card, Ron Waterman really is a dumbass. None of this will be of interest to anyone who doesn’t follow MMA.

Danny Bernardi recommends some books set in Birmingham. I need to be getting myself a bit more down with local literature, so this will prove useful.

Finally, you may have noticed a temporary drop in quality in Swiss Toni’s blog when he handed over the reigns to me for his weekly guest columnist earworm spot. I behaved myself and stuck to songs that had actually been in my head over the previous week, rather than just picking a load of stuff I wanted to recommend.

~ Russ L, back to the meta-narrative soon.

London Never Sleeps, It Just…

I’ve been to London only five times in my life, and two of those have been to go and see the band Neurosis. I’m not, overall, too keen on the idea of commuting too far a-field for gigs (the idea of a touring rock band is usually that they travel to me, rather than vice versa. This feels altogether too much like the mountain going to Mohammed), but Neurosis are a special case. Once upon a time they were one of the most frequently/widely touring bands going, playing over three hundred gigs per year all over the world. All of a sudden, they stopped. Now they hardly play at all, and I suppose this country is lucky to get even one gig in the capital. Your correspondent accordingly made arrangements for passage to the southlands, on Saturday the 18th of November.

I was tired (I hadn’t slept too tough over the previous few nights) but happily anticipating what was to come as I set out. The train journey from Birmingham New Street to London Euston proceeded without the slightest problem, arriving slightly ahead of time. That was about the last bit of travel-related luck I had.

With a while before I could check into the ol’ Travelodge, I had a look at The British Library’s gallery. Some interesting stuff indeed was to be seen – from the most ancient of sacred texts to modern manuscripts. The Codex Sinaiticus was, in an odd but real way, slightly humbling to be in the presence of. I was thoroughly chuffed to see the original ‘Alice In Wonderland’ (open on “Eat Me.” I love ‘Alice.’ More on that next month…), and amused to find that the manuscript of Joyce’s “Finnegan’s Wake” looked like one of those letters from a mad person that we occasionally get at work. Elsewhere there were fragments of original copies of the Magna Carta, the only surviving medieval ‘Beowulf,’ some of Leonardo Da Vinci’s notebooks, and all manner of other fascinating things. The non-permanent exhibition galleries were closed, though, and it really is a shame this little jaunt didn’t happen a week later – London: A Life In Maps sounds fantastic.

So, anyway, off to Travelodge’s Kings Cross Scottish House establishment. I’ve stayed in the main Kings Cross Travelodge (around the corner) before, and had no problem with it. I wasn’t too impressed with this one. The modernist architecture is something I get enough of at home in the West Midlands, but that’s by the by – this was by far the shabbiest Travelodge I’ve ever been to. It wasn’t dirty or unhygienic, but there were patches of wallpaper ripped off the walls, a grill falling off the radiator (which made a row when you turned it on) etc. You can complain about how these places don’t have any character of their own, but normally they are at least immaculately kept. I honestly would not recommend that particular one. You can get somewhere for considerably cheaper if you want it a bit grotty around the edges.

A bit of a nap (after watching a bit of Domino Day on the room’s telly. That was fantastic!) later and I was off to brave Trial By London’s Often-Feted Mass Transit System. With there being engineering works on some of the tube lines in the area that weekend, the 214 bus route from Kings Cross to Kentish Town was a tiny bit on the busy side. I managed to manoeuvre myself amongst the select few that managed to get on by the third one that turned up. Stranger pressed against stranger; the bus driver cursed and muttered as his breaking distances were doubled by the sheer weight he was carrying.

Arriving at The Forum in Kentish Town, I was unbelievably gratified to see that the queue to get in only stretched around one corner this time. I still have flashbacks about the scene outside last time Neurosis played here.

I’d already missed Capricorns’ opening set, though, it seems. Ah well. The main supporting act were Made Out Of Babies, whose ‘Trophy’ album I have and find perfectly alright-ish (even if I have hardly listened to it since I first got it). They’re generally described as noise-rock, and on record I can just about see that, but in a live setting their combination of bom-bo-bom-bom rhythms and the singer’s handwringing angst (little-girl-lost/Elektra-complex-gone-wrong stylee) came across as very nu-metal. That’s not an insult, it’s an observation. The fact that I was fairly nonplussed by them is co-incidental.

And so to Neurosis. We’ll get this out of the way first – having now seen them three times, I’m slightly concerned that they’re turning into an ordinary band for me, rather than the Mighty Heralds Of Making A Row that I’ve always previously viewed them as. Familiarity isn’t breeding anything even remotely close to contempt, but I do feel like I’m beginning to get ever so slightly… well, used to them. It’s not a big problem, but it’s not ideal.

They were still absolutely and monumentally titanic. The setlist given here seems more-or-less right to me (I’ve never seen them as a ‘song’ band, so I do find it difficult to be precise with this sort of thing), and this is where the fans who didn’t go start swearing about them actually playing ‘Eye’ and so forth.

The bass tone underpinning everything was close to frightening, adding a physical element to the proceedings wherever in the venue you stood, but it’s really indicative of them all over – they’re capable of sounding that much bigger than every other band, existing in some sort of limbo between popular music and an orchestra despite there only being five of them onstage. When this forms up into One Of Those Moments you really know about it – I don’t think I’ll forget the sensation of being plunged into the centre of the earth prompted by the kicking in of the slow riff in ‘The Doorway.’

I don’t think I’ll ever repeat my first live experience with them (J.B.’s in Dudley in 1999), when they created an addendum to the general theory of relativity and dilated time, but… well, gigs as good as this’ll do.

So, following a resting-of-my-weary-head back at the hotel, the following day saw a trip over to Camden Markets. I was hoping to get some Christmas presents, but nothing really leapt out as being perfect for anyone in particular. I love Camden Lock Market/The Stables Market nonetheless, though – I could just wander around for hours. I did, in fact.

A couple of pints in The Worlds End and it was time to begin the long trip home, which ended up being the sort of irritating pain-in-the-arse you probably expect. It had worked out cheaper for me to get a train there and a coach back, and so off I set. The bus that was meant to go to Victoria stopped at Trafalgar (it did say ‘Trafalgar’ on the front, to be fair, but I didn’t know that was nearer than Victoria), and then the following one couldn’t go through Whitehall for reasons I’m still not clear about. Further confusion about the coach stations in Victoria (‘Victoria Coach Station’ is not the one you want for Greenline/Megabus – you need to go to the little undercover depot thing over the road) meant I would have been right down to the wire in terms of catching it on time, but it was late anyway. Arriving back in Birmingham few hours later, the train from Snow Hill to Rowley was delayed by nearly an hour.

There’s probably a moral in all of that somewhere, but I’m damned if I can figure it out.

~ Russ L, lavvin a dack me old china. Or whatever they say.

Lots Of Things To See And Do In The West Midlands: October 2006

I was going to do something along these lines for both August and September, but didn’t get around to it. Disclaimers: I can’t ensure that these events will go ahead, that they’ll be good, or that I will be going to them. It’s just some stuff that looked interesting, OK?

Friday the 6th – Boxing @ Dunstall Racetrack, Wolverhampton (PJ Promotions) / Saturday the 7th – Boxing @ The Town Hall, Walsall (PJ promotions) / Tuesday the 9th – Boxing @ The Holiday Inn, Birmingham (Pat Cowdell) – There’s absolutely loads of boxing going on in the space of a few days. I won’t be at the Wolves one, since as far as I know it’s one of these ‘dinner show’ efforts where you’re obliged to pay a fortune extra for the privelidge of a meal and a comedian when all you wanted to do was watch the boxing. I will be at the Walsall one (all being well), which features the always good value Matty Hough. The third I’m not sure about – even though I would like to see Chris Rice in boxing rather than MMA, and I would be intrigued to finally see Robert Norton fight, there’s always the question of money. I don’t know which Holiday Inn in Birmingham it is, either. There are at the very least a couple.

Saturday the 7th – Seth Lakeman @ The Wulfrun Hall, Wolverhampton – I’ll most likely be at the boxing, as above, but young Sethnam is very good and definitely worth seeing.

Sunday the 8th – Lacuna Coil @ The Academy, Birmingham – I like this Italian goth-metal band (put it like that and they suddenly sound a lot less enticing), but I’m not sure how much. This gig will allow me to find out, I think. Given that it’s taking place in a venue most easily comparable to the inside of Satan’s anus and that the supporting act (Devildriver) feature a chappy who used to be in Coal Chamber, Lacuna Coil better bloody well be good.

Wednesday the 4th to Friday the 13th – The Birmingham Book Festival – Yet another slap to the smug, smug faces of those who would claim nothing ever happens in Birmingham. All sorts of talks are a-happening, a few of which I’ll mention here. They include…

Tuesday the 10th – Billy Bragg’s “The Progressive Patriot” @ South Birmingham College, Digbeth campus – Braggy is always interesting on the subject of patriotism and how national pride doesn’t necessarily need to be all “rah rah rah kill the Germans”, and here he talks about his book on the subject. Boo sucks to date clashes – I really would like to go to this, but after much umming and arring I think I’m nevertheless opting for…

Tuesday the 10th – Public Enemy @ The Wulfrun Hall, Wolverhampton – Genuine legends, and I’ve never seen them before. As such they very narrowly win out over Braggy. That comparison makes me sound a lot less enthusiastic about this than I actually am, though – this is going to be amazing.

Wednesday the 11th – Richard Dawkins’ “The God Delusion” @ Central Library Theatre, Birmingham – It’s Richard Dawkins, for crying out loud (part of the Brum book festival again).

Friday the 13th – Julie Walters – “Maggie’s Tree: A Novel” @ Adrian Boult Hall, Birmingham – Book Festival again, and upgraded from the library theatre due to public demand. I bet if we all behave ourselves she might even mention ‘Acorn Antiques.’

Friday the 13th – The Big Bang / The Twang @ The Flapper & Firkin, Birmingham – Unlikely bedfellows but two very good bands – dark and powerful 80s Matchbox-come-BRMC rock ‘n’ roll vs loud and lairy Happy Mondays-meets-The Streets baggy. Also on the bill are The Gravity Crisis and the horrendously named Untitled Musical Project. (EDIT: I’m not sure that The Twang are still playing this. Oh well. The Big Bang are still very good).

Saturday the 14th – Angrrr Management’s “Grrround ‘n’ Pound” MMA card @ The Glades Leisure Centre, Kidderminster – An absolutely amazing card, if it all goes as advertised. Lovstad vs Costello, Batten vs Nakao and Ewin vs Cook are all fights that much bigger promotions would be proud of putting on, and the card also includes the mighty Ross ‘The Boss’ Mason. And Tony Bentley. You’ve gotta love Tony Bentley. (EDIT: We’ve lost a Sinead O’ Connor lookalike, but gained a barrrbarian: Current card).

Sunday the 15th – Showsport International’s “First Step Road To Tokyo” K1 & MMA card @ The Civic Hall, Wolverhampton – An eight man heavyweight K1 tournament, with other K1 and MMA bouts as garnish. That’s right, I said heavyweights – there will be clubbering and lots of it. When I think of heavyweight kickboxing in the West Mids, my thoughts always turn to Barrington Patterson, so I really hope he gets booked for this. Every night I spend at least an hour praying that, one day, Barrington Patterson and Tony Bentley will fight each other.

Sunday the 22nd – Crippled Black Phoenix/Voice Of The Seven Woods/Esquilax @ The Medicine Bar in The Custard Factory, Digbeth, Birmingham – A gig courtesy of those benifecent young ladies at Capsule. CBP feature alumni of bands such as Electric Wizard, Iron Monkey, Mogwai, 3d House Of Beef and loads of others, and make what I imagine would come across live as quite the convincing atmospheric racket. I didn’t see Voice Of The Seven Woods at Supersonic but heard nothing but good things about their/his psychedelic folk from those who did. Esquilax are a band I’ve generally found better in theory than practice, but a lot of people love them more than a fat kid loves that dream where he force-feeds cake to Jamie Oliver until he chokes and dies. And what do I know, really? As much fun as it sounds, I won’t be at this gig. I should, ideally, be at…

Sunday the 22nd – Tunng @ The Glee Club, Birmingham – I’ve spent enough time going on about Tunng in the past (both on this blog and elsewhere) for you to know that I rate their oddfolk very highly. They’re not a band to be missed.

Thursday the 26th – Church Of Misery/Sourvein/Nog @ The Jug Of Ale, Birmingham – It’s Capsule time again. Church Of Misery are Japanese and Loony; Sourvein are American and Southern; Nog are Brummy and Meshuggahrific. If you’re not sold already then I don’t think there’s much hope for you. This will also be the opening night of Going Deaf For A Fortnight 2006, for which (as you can tell from the dearth of gigs between here and the end of the post) I need lots more ideas and suggestions. Get to steppin’, gang.

Tuesday the 31st – The Klopeks’ annual Halloweenorama @ The Actress & Bishop, Birmingham – Pirate-Influenced-Jolly-Haunted-Fairground-Soundtrackers The Klopeks have a big super-duper special Halloween gig every year, and I never manage to go to it. This one won’t be any different. Ah well. A ‘secret yet mixed bag’ of other bands is promised; so is apple bobbing. I hope that’s not being used as a euphemism for something else.

Tuesday the 31st – David Benson’s “Haunted Stage” @ The Town Hall, Stourbridge – I draw to a close, appropriately, with the last event I will attend this month. This’ll be the third of David Benson’s stage shows I’ve seen, and the previous two have unreservedly fantastic. He’s very funny, he sings, he dances, he does very good impressions – it’s like being in the olden days when celebrities were actually famous for doing something, rather than for being famous for being famous. Only he’s not all that famous, so I’ve painted myself into a corner a bit there. I’m going to stop saying the word ‘famous’ now. Promise.

~ Russ L, suggesting that all of these things are worth considering at the very least.