Oh. (Russ L going to and fro in the Earth)

Goo on, yow’ve gorra.

(Via Bounder.tumblr.com)

This one seems to have turned out as another “even more music-dominated than usual” one, which is a shame as I don’t think that’s when it’s at its most useful. Ah well. As a fellow Yam once wisely noted, IT’S CHRIIIISTMAAAS!

Standard disclaimers: I can’t ensure that these events will go ahead, that they’ll be good, or that I will be going to them. Please do not contact me to ask for your event to be included. That’s not the way it works.

Wednesday the 28th of November till Sunday the 2nd of December – The BBC Good Food Show @ The NEC, Marston Green, Birmingham - I wonder if they’ll make me one o’ them fancy quail’s egg sammidges.

Saturday the 1st – The Destroyers @ The Hare & Hounds, Kings Heath, Birmingham - In aid of Jibbering Records’ seventh birthday.

Monday the 3rd – Eliza Carthy @ The MAC, Edgbaston, Birmingham - Daughter of thingybob and whatserface, but very good in her own right.

Tuesday the 4th – The Human League @ The Civic Hall, Wolverhampton - I’ve just (while trying to write this) found out that The Human League don’t have an official website, and that this is ‘official band policy’. Now why would that be?

Tuesday the 4th until Tuesday the 8th of January – Salvador Dali exhibition @ Halcyon Gallery, the ICC, Birmingham - Oh wow. Just… wow. You can buy some, too, if you have a few grand flying around spare.

Wednesday the 5th – Lucero @ The Bar Academy, Birmingham - Y’ain’t from round here, boy.

Wednesday the 5th – ‘Birmingham Storytelling Circle’ @ Scruffy Murphy’s, Birmingham - “For people who simply want to tell and listen to stories.” I still think that’s a really nice idea.

Thursday the 6th – UK Subs / Discharge @ The Barfly, Digbeth, Birmingham - Proper punk, albeit at The Barfly.

Thursday the 6th – “My Friend MEG, The Mindreader” (Prof. Paul Furlong, Aston Uni) @ Thinktank, Millenium Point, Digbeth, Birmingham - Magnetoencephalography, Google tells me. A talk about the future of Neuroscience at Thinktank (spit). It’s apparently free, so at least this is one bit of education that the bandits now in charge of Birmingham’s Science Museum won’t be tearing out of the hands of the general public. Yes, I’m bitter. And I’m not being flippant, bloody ‘Thinktank’ makes me hugely and extremely angry. I digress…

Friday the 7th till Friday the 21st – Hungarian Christmas Market @ Queen Square & Market Square, Wolverhampton - You might say that this strikes you as a poor cousin of the German Christmas Market in Brum, but that’s only ‘cos you’re too mainstream ‘n’ such. There are 1000 free portions of goulash being given away on opening day, along with some stooging around from some of the typical class of local radio sorts that usually stooge around at this sort of thing. Enticing.

Friday the 7th – Jeff Wayne’s “War Of The Worlds” @ The NEC Arena, Marston Green, Birmingham - Uuuulllaaa. This features, and I quote, “a 3 tonne, 30 foot high Martian Fighting Machine firing Heat Rays at the audience and scanning them with its bug-like eyes”.

Fruday the 7th and Saturday the 8th – “The Persian Revolution” (Anglo-Iranian Theatre Company) @ The Rep Door, Birmingham - The tale of The Iranian Constitutional revolution. Said to be dark and sinister but also surprisingly funny in parts.

Friday the 7th to Monday the 30th – “Santa Claus: The Musical” @ The Alexandra Theatre, Birmingham - A little girl strives to save Christmas from the threat of the evil Ice Queen. I hope she succeeds.

Saturday the 8th – IKF Amateur Kickboxing Championships (K-Star/AKA England) @ The Royal Suite, Perry Bar, Birmingham - I thought it was amateur full contact, but the bottom of the poster says it’s open to all styles and mentions Muay Thai, K1, San-Shou etc. I’ve no idea what the rules are, then. Apparently there’ll be some MMA bouts on the card too.

Sarurday the 8th – Birmingham Blitz Derby Dames vs London Rollergirls (Roller Derby) @ Cocks Moor Woods Leisure Centre, Kings Heath, Birmingham - I’m still not sure I understand what’s going on here. I hope Birmingham beats London, though.

Sunday the 9th to Sunday the 16th – “Holly Ghastly And The Thirteen Days Of Christmas” (Screamin’ Voice Youth Theatre) @ The Arena Theatre, Wolverhampton - Yet another one trying to spoil Christmas. I dunno, eh? What is it with these thespians? Once more, may her plans be foiled.

Sunday the 9th – Canal Boat Light Parade @ all down the canal from NIA to The Mailbox, Birmingham - Pretty lit up boats! Some of them threw out sweeties to the onlookers last year. It got busy, though. Make sure you get a good spot.

Sunday the 9th – “Magical Narnia Christmas” @ Haden Hill House, Cradley Heath - (I can’t find a more specific link than that, sorry, but there’s more nice xmas stuff at the other end of it). Go through the wardrobe into all sorts of Christmas-y larks. I’m told the Narnia books are thinly veiled Christian mythology (I didn’t pick that up when I was little, but then again I was – y’know – little. I have recently bought them for a re-read, actually, but it might be a while before I get round to them. I have a big ‘unread’ pile at the moment), so that may or may not please those who tediously refuse to accept the modern-day duality of the thing. It’s free but I think you have to pay to see Santa, so bear that in mind.

Monday the 10th – Rihanna @ The NEC Arena, Marston Green, Birmingham - Umbrella… ella… ella… a… a… honk… honk… HONK…

Monday the 10th – MIA @ The Rojac Building, The Custard Factory, Digbeth, Birmingham - Another disclaimer: I’ve linked her website, but I accept absolutely no responsibility for any seizures or epileptic fits caused by anyone being saft enough to click on it.

Monday the 10th – Carina Round @ The Bar Academy, Birmingham - Oh, I don’t know, I just don’t know. There was once a time when I wouldn’t have hesitated at all. She’s at The Little Civic in Wolves on the eleventh, too.

Monday the 10th - Rolo Tomassi @ The Little Civic, Wolverhampton - I like the one where they go “Squiddleybob squiddleybob DADADADADADA GRAAAGH diddlediddlediddleydiddle…”

Monday the 10th – The Damned @ The Wulfrun Hall, Wolverhampton - Hoary old punk veterans and their ‘first ever theatrical performance’ of ‘The Texas Chainsaw Travelling Horror Picture Show’. I don’t have the first idea what that might mean, but it sounds good.

Monday the 10th – Boxing (Pat Cowdell) @ The Holiday Inn, Birmingham - Look, it’s not just me who doesn’t like dinner shows.

Tuesday the 11th – The Young Gods @ The Barfly, Digbeth, Birmingham - Pending a lawsuit from The Young Knives for using one of their official band-name words, obviously. What, you think I’m joking?

Tuesday the 11th – Gogol Bordello @ Wulfrun Hall, Wolverhampton - Sold out. Those with genuine gypsy-punk skills may no doubt be able to gain access nonetheless.

Wednesday the 12th – ‘Christmas Ghost Stories” (7 Inch Cinema) @ Highbury Hall, Moseley, Birmingham - At Joseph Chamberlain’s erstwhile country retreat (within Birmingham nowadays, of course), this features obscure scary films such as are 7 Inch Cinema’s forte, music courtesy of Nic Bullen and various DJs, an installation by Scott Johnston, and a bar with a fire.

Thursday the 13th till Sunday the 16th – Jasper Carrott’s “Rock With Laughter” @ The NEC Arena, Marston Green, Birmingham - Featuring Jamelia and all sorts of other singists and comedists. It’s all for chari-dee.

Thursday the 13th – Apocalyptica @ Academy 2, Birmingham - Another one of those bands who seemed like an obscure curio about half a decade ago and then (next thing I know) they’re apparently all well-known and such. They play Metallica covers on cellos. The fact that this is sold out illustrates quite a few things that don’t make sense about This Modern Age.

Thursday the 13th – Frank Sidebottom’s Xmas Show @ The Little Civic, Wolverhampton - He’s uncannily convincing when he dresses up as Santa. Had me fooled, anyway.

Thursday the 13th and Saturday the 15th – Elgar’s Enigma @ Symphony Hall, Birmingham - Continuing the Elgar anniversary, alongside Grieg’s Piano Concerto and some of (presumably only some of) The Nutcracker Suite.

Thursday the 13th – The Capsule Christmas Party @ The Medicine Bar, The Custard Factory, Digbeth, Birmingham - With Qui, Moss, Beestung Lips, punch (if it’s mixed by the same person it was a couple of years ago it’ll be potent. Shame I didn’t get any, really…), and (not certain about this, but I’m willing to bet) some cake.

Saturday the 15th – High On Fire @ The Barfly, Digbeth, Birmingham - Beer und heavy metal, ja. Pelican are playing too but don’t let that put you off.

Sunday the 16th – The Pogues @ The Academy, Birmingham - I got far more excited than was seemly when I thought Braggy was supporting them, but fate did its cruel work yet again.

Sunday the 16th – Chrome Hoof @ The Bar Academy, Birmingham - Bassoons, Bacofoil, and what I believe I described as Krautrock-Disco-Metal.

Monday the 17th – The Wildhearts @ Wulfrun Hall, Wolverhampton - I probably should’ve got Throughsilver to do a guest LOTTSADITWM spot for this. Ah well.

Tuesday the 18th – Bad Manners / Splodgenessabounds @ The Barfly, Digbeth, Birmingham - Two pints of lager and a lip up fatty, please.

Tuesday the 18th and Wednesday the 19th, then Friday the 21st and Saturday the 27th – ‘Christmas Music By Candlelight’ (Ex-Cathedra) @ St Paul’s Church, Jewellery Quarter, Birmingham - Lit only by the singers’ candles, which sounds really lovely. You are, however, “invited to bring your own mulled wine and mince pies for the interval”.

Wednesday the 19th until Sunday the 27th of January – Aladdin @ The Hippodrome, Birmingham - Pantomime! Featuring Captain Jack! Or John Barrowman, as some people bizarrely seem to know him.

Thursday the 20th - John Cooper Clark / The Courtesy Group @ The Hare & Hounds, Kings Heath, Birmingham - The latest Curate’s Egg night. I have elsewhere expressed my misgivings, as amazing as TCG may be.

Sunday the 23rd – GBH / Drongos For Europe @ The Barfly, Digbeth, Birmingham - Proper punk, albeit at The Barfly (part 2).

Sunday the 23rd – ‘Scrooge’ alldayer @ The Rainbow, Digbeth, Birmingham - Not a version of ‘A Christmas Carol’ but a myoosickle event courtesy of those Robot Professor lads. For a £4 door tax there are seventeen acts (on two stages) according to the flyer, including the thoroughly bosting likes of Mothertrucker, Blakfish, PCM, and Grandscope. You can’t fault that for value.

Tuesday the 25th – Christmas @ Everywhere - Incidentally, a Merry Christmas to all of you at home.

I know I’ve been doing a lot of moaning on this here blog just lately, and I’m sorry about that. I attended quite a few things over the weekend, though, and enjoyed most of them. This post will therefore have a happier tone.

Thursday night (not really the weekend, I suppose, but I’m sure you’ll forgive me) saw me hurtling over to Kings Heath as fast as the buses would carry me after work, to see Efterklang at The Hare & Hounds. I wasn’t expecting a large crowd for this, but there turned out to be plenty in attendance for another Live Set of The Year Candidate. As with so many of the best bands they turned out to be very difficult to describe. They were lovely, and although I know a lot of people see ‘lovely’ as a weak adjective I personally have few higher compliments than to proclaim something as being a source of genuine loveliness. Sigur Ros seem like cheap comparison, but are somewhere – distantly, vaguely – in the right area. Solid, though, not fragile and floaty. I’m not making a lot of sense, am I? They play interesting, sprawling works, with developing themes and all sorts of different textures. And they wear bizarre trousers. If that’s not enough then I don’t know what is. Definitely a LSOTC, as I’ve said, and yet another band I need to get some recorded works by.

On the Friday night I went with The Parentals to go and see ‘A Christmas Carol’ at The Arena in Wolverhampton, courtesy of Oddsocks Productions. This has to be the thing I’ve seen the most versions of, between stage & screen (and the story itself, obviously). I’m happy to say, though, that this was one of the better – emphasising the silly comic bits and adding more of their own (I doubt Dickens would disapprove), but/and pricelessly funny. It really, really was. Musical interludes from the cast beforehand and during the intermission added an extra bit of niceness, the use of the scenery was ingenious, and unexpected bursts of actual acting took place at times too. It was fantastic all round, and I really hope to see some more Oddsocks plays at some point.

I haven’t completely lost my discriminatory faculties. Saturday night saw a trip to the Wolverhampton Road (that’s in Oldbury/Langley) Wing Wah, and it’s definitely gone downhill. It’s an all-you-can-eat Chinese buffet place, for anyone who doesn’t know, but there seems to be less of a selection than there used to be (they’ve re-arranged it all, but it definitely looks like less), and it didn’t actually seem as nice as on previous occasions. More grease, less flavour. Oh well.

The Frankfurt Christmas Market was visited on Sunday afternoon, which was as lovely as I’ve found it in the past but far too busy. I find it very difficult to enjoy myself when somewhere that dense with people. A nice drink in Bacchus followed. I love that place, but felt sorry for the staff this time. They seemed a bit undermanned.

Finally, it was time for Pam Ayres’ do at The Town Hall. Blessedly, they seem to have rectified the signs (see here). I was surprised by the audience (old. And I’m not being mid-twenties-centric, either – a lot of people would view this as an old crowd), but also surprised by Pam’s act. Very funny (that wasn’t the surprise), consisting mostly of raconteurship/stand-up sort of stuff, into which she sprinkled a few of her poems. I enjoyed it even more than I expected to, which is always nice under any circumstance.

There you go, then. As ever, tonnes of interesting and fun things happen if you bother to look out for them.

A little update on the Travelodge thing

I sent the letter quoted here (that was a direct c’n'p, spelling mistakes and all. Doh.) to Travelodge by recorded delivery, and as such I can confirm that it arrived on 18/09/2007. I have seen the signature to confirm this on the Royal Mail website.

The reply I received (by means of email) was on 09/10/2007. I’m prepared to allow a little while for my letter to be transferred to the appropriate department and then the time subsequently needed to reply, but this still seems slightly on the slow side. Not a big deal, though. I know we’re dealing with a large organisation and that these things take time. This is one thing I wouldn’t complain about.

My reply was from one Norbert Rave, which I have to admit is an awesome name. He signed off as ‘Operations manager’ for Docklands Travelodge, which doesn’t sound like the obvious job title that you’d charge with responding to my complaints having my booking altered to City Airport (even if it was from Docklands) and subsequently ending up with the wrong room, but then again I have no idea how their internal structures work. I appreciate the fact that I got a reply (I didn’t actually expect one), and I appreciate the sentiment - he wanted me to give him a phone number for him to call me to see what could be done to ‘make everything right’.

Well, the minor problem here was that I think Travelodge have kept me on the phone for more than long enough already during this irritating farce. I don’t like phones to begin with, and had no wish to have to have to sit with one pressed to my face for any longer if it wasn’t necessary. Which it wasn’t. The larger problem was what on earth he meant by ‘make things right” - I have already explained my problems and said that I wouldn’t be using Travelodge again. What did he possibly think he could do?

One thing, that I can think of - there was one small question left on my mind that he could have answered. I replied to his email to say that I wasn’t interested in phone communication and that he couldn’t really ‘make things right’, but that I would appreciate having one specific question answered - what actually were the ‘issues’ (shudder) surrounding our transfer? In spite of being sure enough that it was simply a result of Travelodge’s policy of deliberately overbooking, I was happy to be told if there was an alternate explanation for these ‘issues’ that the booking telephonist either couldn’t or wouldn’t tell me.

Mr Rave hasn’t replied. Since it’s been over a month and a half now, I suspect he isn’t going to.

I said before that I wouldn’t be using Travelodge again and would do as much as I could to persuade others not to either. This exchange hasn’t convinced me to alter my position in the slightest.

What is the etiquette to be followed when one appears in your comments box?

I usually leave them there for a little while before deleting them. No particular reason, it’s just that I know that they can appear confusing to someone who doesn’t know what they are (I was baffled beyond belief the first couple of times I saw one). Should I be leaving them permanently, though?

Thoughts would be appreciated.

Oh, I’m angry about this new data-loss scandal. Very angry indeed, although (as you’re no doubt already expecting) not for the standard reasons. I am, of course, a government employee. Usually this seems to count as apparent grounds for my opinions to be immediately dismissed, so go ahead if you must. Anyone still here? Blimey.

The fact that people’s private information has been lost is revolting. I’m not attempting to deny that. I don’t think a lot of people are likely to be defrauded a a result (this ‘identity fraud’ lark seems to be one of the boogeymen of the modern age. Of course it happens sometimes, but the way its reported is cretinous. “Shred your letters, there are snoopers searching through rubbish dumps to get your address!” Idiotic.), but for the few that are and the many more that may well find themselves added to mailing lists/tele-canvassing lists this is A Bad Thing. It shouldn’t have happened and the appropriate punitive action deserves to be meted out.

To whom, though? Surprise surprise - the official line appears to be that a “junior member of staff” is responsible.

Please excuse my French, but: Bollocks. Absolute bollocks.

The only caveats I can offer in the interests of fairness are that I don’t work for the HMRC and don’t know what the precise definition of ‘junior’ being used is (it could mean anything if you really wanted it to). There are pretty weak disclaimers, though. I do not believe, not even for a moment, that anyone in a normal everyday job (you know, a normal person. The sort of person you could reasonably describe as a ‘junior member of staff’. For those in the game, I’m looking at AA/AO/EO grades; for those that aren’t, I mean the filing & photocopying type of workers/the actual processing & dealing with customer type workers/the team-leader sorts) would have the sufficient access to this information that you’d need to burn it onto a disk. I don’t really believe that the next couple of grades upwards in the seniority rankings would, either. As I say, ‘maybe’ the HMRC is different to the DWP. I don’t believe it, though.

Things have gone horribly wrong, of that there is no question. The fact that they’ve admitted to it happening doesn’t mean they’re telling the truth, though. I’m completely confident in saying that the fault here lies somewhere higher up than a ‘junior’ member of staff.

You always have to blame it on the ordinary workers though, don’t you?

There may be another (smaller) scandal imminently about to take place, anyway. I’m not sure yet. Add the actual to the potential, though, and you have government-deposing-material.

The original plan for Sunday the 18th was to have an alldayer (of sorts) at The Custard Factory. There was a gig and a boxing card (Tom P’s retrospective writings here and here), together with the market. I thought that’d be at least an early-afternoon-till-chucking-out-time worth. The boxing, alas, sold out in advance (combine that with various gigs of late and it appears that we live in a new-found age of lots of things in Birmingham selling lots of tickets. It feels quite novel), so plans were a-scuppered. Just the evening, then.

A couple of pints in The Old Crown, therefore, before popping over to The Custard Factory’s Medicine Bar at a minute or so before eight. And finding a spot sheltered from the rain and snow. And waiting. And staring at those allowed inside before the doors officially opened and the smug looks on their faces. And memorising them for later retribution.

Ah, don’t worry, y’all are alright. I can never remember faces.

This here was the last gig that Jimmy Jazz was due to play with Mothertrucker. It really felt like the end of an era. Even in spite of amp troubles, their world-class instrumental metalisms were just as ripyourfaceofferiffic as usual. Perhaps more so, with some of the widdlier guitar sounds muted. There was no farewell speech from James. The man went out with dignity. The next time I see them will be my twentieth time, although I have to say it’ll be bizarre without the be-gloved posho and his slanty snare.

It was only after they’d finished that I noticed the new scary lights mounted on the beams further back in the room. Well… they may not be brand new, but I’ve never noticed them before. They were like some sort of robotic club equivalent of concentration camp searchlights, swivelling around seemingly of their own intelligence before illuminating some poor unfortunate’s face with a spotlight. I kept expecting a hail of gunfire or the release of dogs. The way they moved was creepy, too. They knew who they were looking for. Very dystopic.

I’d seen Jesu three times before this. On the first two occasions they were incredibly soulful, although on the third time they seemed a bit cowed by having to play out in the daylight on a big stage. I also thought that their self-titled album was one of the best of recent years, but haven’t found any of their subsequent recorded stuff that I’ve heard to be anywhere near as good. People seem to speak frequently of the great memorable songs from their latter days, but (while not actively disliking anything I’ve heard) I’m yet to hear/feel them. What of this live set, then? Although I’m not sure I hold with the expression ‘Jumping The Shark’, on the basis of this gig I think I finally have to give in to the mounting evidence and admit that Jesu have indeed hopped over the angry fishy for me. They just didn’t grab me, at all, even when playing older stuff. I know that you can apply this sort of reductionism to any band, but nothing they did really conveyed any feeling to me other than another clanking quasi-industrial rhythm with loud bass, more ethereal guitar floating over the top, and mournful vocals yet again buried low in the mix. I was bored.

In the interests of fairness, I’ll mention that everyone else there seemed to be as rapturously receptive to them as I once was.

It’s a bit of a shame, this. At one point they seemed likely to turn into one of my all-time favourite bands. Ah well.

I left after Jesu. I’d had warning (while Jesu were playing, lets not go mad with thoughts of the way the world could be) that this was gig was going to run on late, and I thought it best not to start what I couldn’t finish in terms of watching Mono (who I’d never heard before anyway). Those lights were scaring me, too. I walked out of the place straight into a vision from a snowglobe paperweighty thing. There had been sundry attempts at snow throughout the day, but only amongst greater volumes of rain. Now it was white over. Very pretty, but I thought it well that I hadn’t left it until later to leave.

“Can you believe it?” asked a bloke walking the other way down Digbeth High Street, amongst the swirling precipitatory deluge.

“Its presence more-or-less forces me to” I replied.

I like his thinking, though. Keep questioning those perceptions, kidda.

Jez thinks tea would help.

I made sure I got there early for AMMA’s (mostly) amateur Mixed Martial Arts Card held at the Holte End Suite of the Villa Ground on Saturday the 17th, since it was ‘technically’ sold out. I suppose it wasn’t that dissimilar to their previous two events (both of which sold out on the door, and for both of which I was jammy enough to be able to get there before they started turning folk away), but there felt like there was a greater urgency to this one.

I suppose that shouldn’t seem surprising, though, since it was on this card that they inaugurated their new amateur British titles. That’s bound to generate extra interest. Regular/committed readers of this blog (lets pretend there are some. Humour me) will know that I really rate these AMMA cards, and this one was as great as usual. The atmosphere was incredibly lively, and I for some reason like the venue even though I’m increasingly finding that it’s not brilliant for a shortarse like me. I missed a fair few notable bits of what happened on the ground, but never mind.

Your results are in this messageboard thread (I may or may not replace that with a more permanent link when one appears. This depends on whether or not I remember and whether or not I can be bothered). As seems to be becoming my pattern, I’ll just mention my personal highlights:

- The welterweight title match featuring Richard Hall (Team Supreme) against James Mattingley (Relentless) was my fight of the night. It took place standing for the most part, with Mattingley ahead by landing more punches but Hall scoring back with a few of his own and some good knees. A knee from Mattingley in the second opened up an absolute gusher of a cut, and the end came at the behest of the medics. It was absolute warfare from start to finish, and it’d be fantastic to see a rematch at some point.

- I was really chuffed to see Dan Korbely (Team Supreme) win the featherweight title title. From the first time I saw him (this was the fifth – the previous four were the ones he has recorded on MMAU, funnily enough, although I know he’s had more fights than that) I knew he’d be going on to bigger things. I think even bigger things will be afoot for him yet.

- Linton Vassel of Total Dojo (new heavyweight champ) looked absolutely monstrous.

- The two most local teams (F’s Freestyle of Kings Norton & Supreme of Cannock) collectively won all of their fights bar one. They’ve both been doing extremely well at the local-ish cards I get to go to (this & Angrrr Management) of late.

It was announced that the next one will be in March, anyway, at Bescot. I’d really recommend it if you can get to it and have even the slightest interest in MMA. (EDIT: No it won’t. 12th of April at The Villa again, that’s when you want).

The current run of loads of cool stuff a-happening in Birmingham & The Black Country continued with Meeting Joe Strummer at The Arena in Wolverhampton, courtesy of Middle Ground Theatre Company

Director and writer Paul Hodson apparently felt that a biopic of Strummer’s life wouldn’t have felt right, and I think I have to agree there. Instead he created a (Hornby-ish, now I come to think of it) tale of how Joe’s life was reflected in those of two others. Two blokes got into The Clash in the late seventies, but eventually had to grow up. Nick (Huw Higginson of “The Bill”) was a middle-class but pretended he wasn’t, and despite being the initially more strident (in a student-y sort of way) ends up a soap actor. Steve (Steve North of “London’s Burning”, aptly enough) was working-class, and initially completely antithetical to punk before being convinced by The Clash. He stays faithful throughout his life but has never met Joe, and his looking forward to doing so works as one of the main plot hooks.

I was faintly worried beforehand about this being full of hero-worship, which is surely not what the man was about. There was naturally some, but not enough to upset. It was more about looking at the qualities others perceived him as having (because, as we learn, people aren’t always what they appear), how these affected their lives, and how they went on to continue to affect their lives when all context changes. Do you grow up and calm down and start working for the clampdown?

I really enjoyed this; it was fun, but also had a very stealthy streak of thoughtfulness that more or less took me unawares. The thought only just now occurs that this mirrors a lot of the very best bits of punk.

It also, unsurprisingly, made me want to go and listen to The Clash a lot. That’s never a bad thing.

I saw Slava’s Snowshow last year and thought it was the best thing evaaargh. I was eager to go back again, this time with Nyki and The Child Olivia.

What I didn’t know until too late to sort anything out was that Saturday the 10th was also the occasion of Birmingham’s Christmas-Lights-Switching-On festivities, outside Millennium Point, with fairground rides and a big stage with lots of acts playing. We could have made a day of it. Ah well.

I arrived a little while before I needed to be there to go and have a bit of a look, and as well as the organised stuff I found the usual ‘free public event’ accoutrements of people selling illuminous plastic crap, and people steadfastly refusing to have any awareness of their position or physical presence. Why shouldn’t they step directly in front of someone/barge past them when the general crowd around is too dense to give anyone actually paying attention a chance to get out of their ignorant-arsed way? It’s their night out, damnit. Why should they have to have even the slightest whit of consideration for everyone else around them?

Aaaand… breathe. I wasn’t there long, but had enough time to see the three-song set by an duo called Booty Luv (either, in traditional fashion, the best or worst name for a band ever). I hadn’t heard of them before, but then I’m extremely out of touch of late. It turns out that A) they’re famous; and B) they’re both ex-members of Big Brovaz, who are still going too. Whodathunkit. Chart-house with r’n'b-ish vocals, anyway, nothing amazing but listenable-ish when you’re on the spot and with nothing better to do. Come their third song I realised that they’re the ones that do that cover of Tweet’s “Boogie Tonight” that floats around in the ether. The things you can learn.

Time to move on dawned, and I headed back in the general direction of The Hippodrome to meet Nyk’n’Liv. The Snowshow was the same as last year, but I can’t say that’s a bad thing in any way. Don’t go thinking of circuses when you hear the word ‘clown’ (what was that Hank Hill quote? “A circus clown is just a carny who’s too stupid to operate the on/off switch on the rides”?); these are not even close to being the same thing. It’s hard to really describe very much of it without spoiling any, but its full of not just slapstick but also lots of very clever visual jokes. The clown who can’t figure out how to fold his arms is great, as is the shark (I’d completely forgotten that from the previous year!). The finale of the main stageshow is jaw-dropping, before everyone in the theatre gets to join in the playtime.

It was interesting to have a child there. She loved it, but didn’t laugh as much as I expected – a lot of the time she regarded it all with a look of concentration on her mush. There’s clearly some internal logic at play, which children get and thus see the whole entity as something to ponder rather than just guffaw at.

The fact that she was insistent that their big hats were made of bacon was sweet (if bizarre).

The fact that apparently now she keeps drawing pictures of clowns is priceless.