Oh. (Russ L going to and fro in the Earth)

The domestication of the British Isles by the UFC continues unabated. Following UFC 70 (in which Manchester was sacked by two High-Energy Rocket-Powered Badmans Dem From The Black Country. My memory is fuzzy, but I think the entire city was destroyed), and UFC 72 (in which the good people of Belfast were treated to a poorer card than you see at the majority of numbered UFC events), the iron fist of big-time MMA smashes into London in a just over a week.

Why is this important? Because we’re going! I really am very happy indeed that what looks likely to be one of the best main events of recent times coincides with one of our always funny, always drinky and especially always getting-losty MMA away-days. In honour of this and as displacement activity for some of the excitement, arm geein’ yow mar picks.

Note: No original ideas were exploited during the making of this post.

Lightweight: Naoyuki Kotani vs Dennis Siver

I’d only ever seen Siver when he was armbarred quickstyle by Liaudin and only ever seen Kotani when he was knocked out evenquickerstyle by Azerado, but it dawned on me that Kotani fought Thiago Tavares on UFN 9 and that I had that amongst a pile of unwatched DVDs. Having viewed that I’m not a massive amount more the wiser, but (and although people who know what they’re talking about often say that he’s better than his record might suggest) all of Siver’s losses are by submission and Kotani seems to know one or two of ‘em. I’ll say Kotani by sub, and for the sake of argument I’ll guess at round 2.

Welterweight: Anthony Torres vs Jess Liaudin

Jess is one of those great examples of why you shoudn’t take a fighter’s record as solid proof of their abilities - he’s much better than 11-8. Much, much better, in both strikes and submissions. Torres is best known for losing by decision to Luke Cummo on TUF2, although most recently he has a submission win over Pat Healy. Jess has wiley-veteran-osity, though. Liaudin by sub, round one.

Lightweight: Terry Etim vs Gleison Tibau

Reports that Scouse Terry has being trying to unsettle Gleison prior to this fight by eyeing up his hubcaps are unconfirmed and possibly made-up. The fact that I’ve picked all of the UK-based fighters (irrespective of the order in which you might read them, this is the one of these that I’ve come to write last) may seem unnecessarily nationalistic, but I don’t think I’m about to break the pattern here. There’s no question it’ll be a submission war, but Terry also brings some decent Thai to this and Gleison seemed to give up after a while against Nick Diaz (I request tedious people to note at this point that I’m not making a direct comparison between Diaz and Etim). I’m going to pick Etim by decision.

Welterweight: Marcus ‘The Irish Hand Grenade” Davis vs Paul “The Saddler” Taylor

Yeah, you read it. Paul Taylor is from Walsall, and as such I think “The Saddler” is a better nickname than “Relentless” (in Davis’ case, anything would be better nickname than “The Irish Hand Grenade”. Sigh. Americans. With a name like ‘Marcus’ you think he might go for “The Middle Class Teddy Bear” or such). I was full sore irritated that they altered the times and we thusly missed Paul’s fight last time around in Manchester, what with him being the first West Midlander in the UFC as well as him being a fighter I was already a fan of. He’s a physically powerful all-rounder, and with a particular strength in his kickboxing. Davis is a formiddable opponent, of course, a former pro boxer with strong submission skills who currently rides the wave of a nine fight victory streak (including wins over names like Jason Tan, Shonie Carter and Forrest Petz). He ain’t from the Black Country, though. That’ll make the difference. Taylor by decision.

Light Heavyweight: Tomasz Drwal vs Thiago Silva

I love it when Eastern Europeans get all vowel-less, although I’d dread to see what the text messages of their youth are like. I would never be so churlish as to pick against a man whose name I cannot pronounce and this principle overides all other considerations, hence Drwal by stoppage from strikes, round one.

Light Heavyweight: Alessio “Legionarus” Sakara vs Houston “I Have The Most American-Sounding Name In The World” Alexander

I can’t see this going past the first bell. I can’t see this involving any sort of grappling, either (although it would be funny if one of them jumped to guard, just to see the confused look on the face of the other). I’ve only seen Alexander in his win over Jardine, and on the (possibly unfair) basis of just that I see the Italian as being the more accurate puncher. Sakara by knockout, round one.

Heavyweight: Mirko “Cro-Cop” Filipovic vs Cheick Kongo

Kongo obviously isn’t there to win this as far as the UFC is concerned, although I don’t think Gonzaga was in April either and we all saw how that turned out. Still, Kongo can’t do anything other than strike, and Mirko is a better striker. A whopper (of a K.O.) from the copper, round one.

Light Heavyweight: Mike “The Count” Bisping vs Matt “Coppin’ A Deaf’un” Hamill

Bis-Ping! Bis-Ping! Bis-Ping! I’d call him the favourite here, but Hamill will present him with a few problems to solve. Bisping is a strikin’ man with a workable submission game, but (as we all know) his wrestling isn’t on the same level as a lot of the competition he faces these days. Hamill’s main strength, conversely, is his wrestling (unless you count his technical proficiency in sneaky cut-rubbing and eye-raking). I definitely foresee him taking Bisping down and holding him there for some unsportsmanlike tactics at least a few times during this fight. Boos and jeers for stand-ups will be fullsome, though. Fullsome, I tells ya. Will the ref cave? Quite possibly, and Mikey B’s blows will get more chances to take their toll. Bisping, stoppage from strikes, round three.

UFC & Pride light-heavyweight title unification: Quinton “Rampage” Jackson vs “Dangerous” Dan “Decision” “Hollywood” “Hendo” Henderson

Hnnnnuuuuuurrrrggg (it’s a good word, and I’ll let you use it too), I can’t make my mind up. I’ve gone back and forth of this one repeatedly. Their relative advantages have been debated in a squintillion other places on the internet with more insight than I’ll manage, but to put the main points as briefly as I can: Rampage, obviously, is a hell of a lot bigger than Hendo, with all the strength advantages that entails. He’s also the better boxer (especially defensively) and doesn’t lack knockout power, but it’s worth noting that Henderson has an iron chin and has never been knocked out or stopped by strikes. While we’re considering stand-up, we can never discount Hendo’s everyone-killing powerful right hand, which will bring Rampage down if it lands. In spite of being a two-time Olympian, Henderson doesn’t always rely too heavily on wrestling in MMA, whereas Rampage is known for his spectacular slams. With the size difference I’d say the latter will be able to get the former down more easily if that’s the plan, but Hendo has shown before that he’s perfectly capable of working from his back. I can’t see either of them going for a significant amount of submission work. I would assume Hendo will have the more efficient cardio on the night, which might make the fact that it’s a five-rounder work in his favour. He also always used to have an uncanny knack of winning decisions, although that was under PRIDE judging (I suspect it only seemed uncanny because he was the only person in the world to have fully figured out the judging criteria there. And I include the judges in that). Will he have adapted his official-pleasing style for the UFC?

Gah. At the moment I’m inclined towards Rampage by decision, but I’m likely to change my mind another ten times before the fight. This really is a great fight and I’m extremely glad I’m going to get to see it live.

September the 8th, Champion vs Champion. Let’s go.

If you have an interest in the West Midlands small gig scene you’ll probably already have heard about The Jug Of Ale looking likely to close soon. If not then looky-looky here, here etc.

Considered in and of itself, this is an even bigger loss than some of the others recently - a place with both big musical heritage (it held before-they-were-famous gigs from the likes of Oasis, The Verve, Idlewilde, Catatonia, Super Furry Animals, Editors, The Twang etc) and an important function in the here ‘n’ now (particularly at the indie end of things. As one respondent in my Great West Midlands Gig Venue Survey of 2006 put it, “so many bands have got their first proper gigs here. Gets my vote for the Birmingham scene’s most important venue, if not its best.”). Looked at in conjunction with the other losses, the cumulative effect is horrific. There are so few venues; fewer still that a DIY promoter can just go out and hire; fewer still that a DIY promoter can hire without having to pay an excessively high room-hire fee or have to deal with ridiculously awkward people.

On the other hand, where you do have new venues opening up, you get crap like this.

I despair. I really, really do.

EDIT: Fortunately, it may not be definite. Let us hope.

It’s back, it appears. To be entirely honest with you, it was meant to be back sooner. I didn’t feel like doing it for May but for both June and July I intended to write one of these here listings posts, and was only stopped by the small matter of ‘me being completely useless’. I couldn’t find enough stuff to make it worth restarting in August, but now - for this most transitional of months – we recommence.

Oh yeah - some of you may be wandering what on earth this is. Checka da archives-a. Before the beginning of a month I used to write some guff ‘n’ gittish comments about things due to happen in the West Midlands (based more on Birmingham and The Black Country than Coventry, though not necessarily deliberately) that had struck me as interesting/fun/worth attending.

Standard disclaimers: I can’t ensure that these events will go ahead, that they’ll be good, or that I will be going to them. Please do not contact me to ask for your event to be included. That’s not the way it works.

Saturday the 1st and Sunday the 2nd - The Moseley Folk Festival @ Moseley Park, Moseley, Birmingham - I really, really enjoyed the day of this that I went to last year. Beer-related cock-ups aside (not that I wish to downplay those. Beer Is Very Important), it was really nicely run and had a lovely atmosphere. The line-up doesn’t entice me as much this time but I’m going to go to both days. Watch out for Tunng (TheirSpace), ‘cos they’re great.

Saturday the 1st – High On Fire @ The Barfly, Digbeth, Birmingham - Clashing with Moseley Folk, but there are of course those amongst the massive who refer to folk music by various sexuality-based epithets. They may be an excercise in Banging The Head That Does Already Bang, but I like High On Fire and their Motorhead-With-Occasional-Doom-Bits larks. It’s Capsule.

Sunday the 2nd – Heart Of England Judo Championships @ The NIA, Birmingham - I believe the phrase I am looking for is THROW BY CLOTHES

Tuesday the 4th – The Police @ The NIA, Birmingham - To quote Atom And His Package, “Sting Cannot Possibly be The Same Guy Who Was In The Police.”

Tuesday the 4th – Chris Cornell @ The Academy, Birmingham - Chris Cornell, however, quite possibly could be the same guy who was in Soundgarden.

Wednesday the 5th – Regina Spektor @ The Academy, Birmingham - Just make sure you pronounce it right. It’s ‘Regeena’ apparently. I know, me too.

Wednesday the 5th – Birmingham Storytelling Circle @ Scruffy Murphy’s, Birmingham - A free meeting “for people who simply want to tell and listen to stories.” That’s a lovely idea.

Thursday the 6th – Steel Pulse @ The Academy, Birmingham - I once did a college course with the son of the keyboard player from Steel Pulse. There’s your fact of the day. Handsworth Revolution!

Sunday the 9th – Damien Dempsey @ The Academy, Birmingham - I’m not sure how this one has come about. It’s a joint headline with Nizlopi (meh), which I’d assumed was part of a tour but it appears is actually a one-off. Whichever way up and though his amateur boxing credentials may be disputed by some, Damo is a fantastic songwriter with an amazingly intense delivery.

Wednesday the 12th – Lucky Soul @ The Barfly, Digbeth, Birmingham - I haven’t decided if there’s anything to them beyond pastiche yet, but I do like this band.

Friday the 14th to Sunday the 16th – Artsfest @ all over the place in Birmingham - The annual massive assemblage of freeness. Generally there’s all sorts of gubbins for all ages going on all over the place, but they haven’t released a line-up of any kind yet. There is a ‘top ten attractions’ here (linked to CIB, since the Artsfest’s own site doesn’t have a permalink for it. Silly rabbits).

Saturday the 15th – Blaze Bayley @ The Little Civic, Wolverhampton - Good ol’ Tammuff Blaze advertised for band members through the JobCentre recently, which amuses me for reasons I can’t quite figure out. This gig is subtitled My Life Unplugged, but I have no idea whatsoever whether that means it’s acoustic or an “Evening With…” type affair or what.

Saturday the 15th – P.J. Promotions’ “Hope And Glory” (Boxing) @ The ICC, Birmingham - A boxing card being held to commemorate The Battle Of Britain, apparently. I’m not sure precisely how it’ll be commemorating it – maybe the profits are going to organisations that help veterans or something. I have no idea. Three title fights, anyway, although none of this will matter to most of us since it’s one of these dinner show larks and tables apparently cost a grand and a half.

Saturday the 15th – Misty’s Big Adventure @ The Academy 2, Birmingham - Local act considered legendary by many. I still haven’t seen them, but I suspect that the Aca2 probably isn’t the best place to do so for the first time.

Tuesday the 18th – Regional Shorts: Screen Test @ The MAC, Edgbaston, Birmingham - Six short films from local directors. Intriguingly, Steve Rainbow’s ‘Quest For Fire’ is about “One man’s quest to find the hottest curry in the land.”

Thursday the 20th – The Curate’s Egg @ The Hare & Hounds, Kings Heath, Birmingham - Less music and more comedy in this installment of what is becoming known as a reliable monthly night of weirdness. Never heard of the headlining comedians Simon Munnery or Andrew Bailey. I’ve heard of Nadeem Rangzeb. A spot of research tells me that “Godfrey Slater And His Invisible Ducks” is Al from The Courtesy Group. And, presumably, some ducks. Invisible ones.

Friday the 21st – The Misfits @ Wulfrun Hall, Wolverhampton - As part of their 30th anniversary tour. I like this band, and so I’m trying my very hardest not to blame them for many of the regretable haircuts we see amongst the youth of today.

Saturday the 22nd – K-Star’s “Shoothai” (MMA/Muay Thai) @ The Royale Suite, Perry Bar, Birmingham - Or at least I assume it’s a mix of MMA and Muay Thai bouts, going between that link and this one. No idea who might be fighting.

Saturday the 22nd – Boxing (Coventry Sporting Club) @ The Leofric Hotel, Coventry - There’s lots of boxing this month. I would presume that this event is a dinner show.

Saturday the 22nd to Sunday the 23rd – GB Judo World Cup @ The NIA, Birmingham - I believe the phrase I’m looking for is still THROW BY CLOTHES

Sunday the 23rd – Hed(PE) @ The Barfly, Digbeth, Birmingham - Now there’s a name that’s a blast from the past. Hed(PE) were like grime-metal before there was even grime, which is quite prescient when you think about it.

Sunday the 23rd – Tortoise M.O.T. @ Birmingham Nature Centre, Edgbaston, Birmingham - Probably only of interest to tortoise-owners (a group of which I am sadly not a part), but it sounded good.

Tuesday the 25th till Thursday the 27th – “Macbeth Kill Bill Shakespeare” @ The MAC, Edgbaston, Birmingham - Malachi Bogdanov’s play about what would have happened if Quentin Tarantino had written had written Macbeth. Feelings of “Hmmm” leap to mind, but apparently it has been getting very good reviews.

Wednesday the 26th – Alabama 3 @ The Academy 2, Birmingham - From the Deep South. Or London, as we know it over here.

Wednesday the 26th – Akala @ Bar Academy, Birmingham - What I didn’t know about Akala was that he is apparently Ms Dynamite’s brother. Master Dynamite-Hee-Hee…

Friday the 28th – Mothertrucker / Grandscope @ The Island Bar, Birmingham - (i.e. next door to the Alexandra – apparently they sell cocktails). Two of the best local bands on the same bill. Huzzah, sez I.

Friday the 28th – Boxing (Pat Cowdell) @ The Skydome, Coventry - Headlined by Howard Eastman vs Birmingham’s Wayne Elcock for the British middleweight title. A complicated path has led to this one, what with Elcock leaving Ringside Promotions for Frank Maloney, Maloney handing the purse bids back, Brum stalwart Pat Cowdell eventually picking up the fight, and then changing the venue to The Skydome. Blimey. Matty Hough appears to be on the undercard too – let’s hope he can back to winning ways.

Friday the 28th – Boxing (Ringside Promotions) @ Your guess is as good as mine at the minute - So, Ringside were due to have a card on the 21st at the Villa Leisure Centre with a bunch of their usual fighters, but apparently that venue has closed down and now the card will be elsewhere on the 28th. Tom Podmore says in The Never-Ending Boxcot Comments Thread that it could be at town’s Holiday Inn or the National Motorcycle Museum in Solihull. Bikes and boxing together, imagine that. Punters at The Skydome will be able to smell the testosterone from there.

Sunday the 30th – ‘Meltdown Metalfest’ @ The Barfly, Digbeth, Birmingham - A strange line-up, in some ways. All of the bands play distorted guitars and use vocals that differ from sweetly singing, of course, but beyond that there seems to be no common thread (that I can divine) running through it. This is not to say that I’m opposed to nods in the vague direction of variation, of course. Note well that Assert (TheirSpace) are playing. They always tear the roof off the place.

I wrote a while back about big changes agwaaning at The Hare And Hounds. I finally got around to going to the new version on Thursday the 16th, with Young Trigger in tow. It’s quite nice, I suppose. I was scared beforehand by the quoted aim that the pub would be trying to entice “young bohemian(s) and savvy professionals” (that’s about as wanky-sounding as you can possibly get, really); my brief glance at the downstairs suggested that the place wasn’t but could be full of people I wouldn’t like. Thinking about it, though, “potentially full of people I wouldn’t like” applies to any and every pub (albeit in different ways). Or any and every public space, even. The £1 tins of Carlsberg Export from the upstairs bar are gone (I will mourn this loss for a long time), but you could get tins of Red Stripe (irie irie) for £2 each until they ran out halfway through the evening. I’m going to say that on balance, I quite like the new H&H; I’d much rather this had opened as a new establishment and left the previous pub still going as well, though.

The purpose of this exercise was to go and see Damo Suzuki, of Can fame. The advertised plan was for him to do three sets, backed by different local artistes in each - Brian Duffy of the Modified Toy Orchestra, The Courtesy Group, and Andy Bole. I approve of the two firstnamed very strongly (never heard of Bole) and I like Can a lot (although I hadn’t heard anything at all in the way of post-Can work from Damo), so I was quite looking forward to this one.

Time cracked on a bit, but eventually things were a-gotten on with. It turned out that Suzuki sang what seemed to be the same piece in each of his sets, with the backing provided by the locals changing. I’ve no idea if he got much or anything in the way of rehearsal time/chance to drill them beforehand. It was quite weird that Damo ended up… not incidental, I wouldn’t go that far, but it was certainly the case that he felt added on to what the locals were doing rather than vice versa.

Mr Duffy and two of the Modified Toy Orchestreers joined him for the first turn (using real drums. It just didn’t feel right, damnit). The sounds they created were quite varied, starting with an ambient/drone type of thing and working back and forth between that style and more beat-driven parts. It was great when it came together, coalescing with Damo’s chanting to produced something that felt almost ritualistic. At other times, though, there seemed to be a real disconnect between the vocals and the music going on around them. That may of course have been the point. Every now and then I recognised a snatch of sound from MTO’s own more poppy oeuvre (a lot of the sounds they use are unique, unsurprisingly), which made me smile.

We popped outside for the boy blunder to have a smoke and discovered something that may be important: you can’t hear the music from the tables right outside the Hare And Hounds. The Courtesy Group had already started when by the time we came back in, which came as a surprise.

The Courtesy Group went for a more swampy, voodoo-y approach. Al Group’s bizarre angry-sounding interjections made me think of Hoover from Spaced (for some reason). It definitely had its moments but was far, far too long. My attention had well and truly wondered by the time they’d finished. Admittedly my attention will wonder over the course of eating a biscuit, so that’s not too damning, but there we are.

We were up to about nearly eleven o’clock by this point, and it was announced from the stage that Andy Bole had gone and double-booked himself and wouldn’t be on till later. A portion of Mills & Boon jumped into the temporary breach. They hit it in a noodly repetitive sort of style, closer to Can than anything else thus far that evening. We had to leave after really not very long, though, and I got the feeling they were still just warming up. There are, however, these things called buses and they don’t wait for you just ‘cos you don’t feel like leaving yet.

As usual, Big Poppa P’Ashton is your hookup, holla if you hear him.

Pffft, gigs at The Rainbow, eh? You don’t go to one all your life and then you end up at two in the space of less than a week. I blame Thatcher.

So, in terms of a comparison to the Friday night therelinked, on Wednesday the 15th they had the cover thing over the open-roofed half of the courtyard (it’s a canvas sort of affair), and the grill/barbeque wasn’t on. That’s a shame. I probably would have bought me some eats.

I arrived, paid the very reasonable £3 (for one international and two local bands I reckon that’s pretty good), and waited. And waited. Ah, late runnings. People like me who get about via public transport love late runnings.

The Dexateens from America (and they really were, this time. Not just pretending to be American like most bands I end up seeing) opened. Southern-rock with a dash of garage-blues about them, maybe like The Rolling Stones meeting a much (much) happier version of 16 Horsepower without all the Faulkner American Gothic business. I liked ‘em a lot; good tunes and an engaging performance. The drummer marching into the audience t’umping his cowbell was a fun moment, and I really liked the bassplayer’s shuffle. Deft footwork. You don’t see enough of that from guitar bands.

I was unsure about Mr Derry, liking them and disliking them at different points in their set. Pretty standard indie-rock ‘n’ roll, definitely, but with what sounded at times like catchy fun songs and at others like little beyond bluster. They swung between giving off energy and the feeling that they were having a good time up there and giving off the impression that there was a lot of energy being expended to make it look as though they were having a good time. For the time being, I’ll say: dunno.

The Big Bang were a band I liked a lot when I saw them at The Jug nearly a year and a half ago, but didn’t quite get around to seeing again until this. Well, I still didn’t to see very much of them, going on as they did at well after eleven (on a weeknight. What on earth is the point?). Still great, of course, very 80sMBB-LD, raggedy-arsed glory, blah blah. Then I went home. Annoyed.

On a tangential but related note, I would also like to give hails to that one girl who works at The Rainbow. The most hardworking barmaid in Birmingham, sez I.

Russ L’s top five tunes of right now this minute, presented in exciting reverse order:

5) Whitney Houston – I Wanna Dance With Somebody
4) Can - Vitamin C
3) Beyonce - Get Me Bodied
2) Rip Rig & Panic - You’re My Kind Of Climate
1) Copter – Testify

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Any regular look-er at-er of this blog who doesn’t actually know me in person (there are millions, I tell you. Millions. I am not merely shouting into a void, irrespective of what appearances might suggest) might not realise that I’m an avid reader. I don’t tend to find easy to write about, you see. Speak all you will regarding dancing about architecture, but I’m even less able to dance about dance. Or talk about talk. The only thing about me, in fact, is the way I walk. That way is ‘about walk’, obviously. It’s quite the stride.

As the Brownian motion of this swirl of Authentic Russ L Gibberish loses momentum and we bob gently towards the actual point, I bring this up as a way of getting around to dropping two pieces of science: A) The Artist Formerly Known As The Shiny Shoed Concert Slattern now be spreading the word heavy about literature (The Tatty Trainered Book Tart?); B) Read Stephen Hawkin’s “A Brief History Of Time.” Yes, I know, but I’m telling you. It doesn’t deserve to be remembered as the book that people buy just to put on their shelf to try and look clever. It explains obscenely complex things in an understandable way. Plus: light cones. My mind=blown. If you don’t think a diagrammatic representation all possible causal future and past isn’t amongst the top ten most reeking-of-awesomeness things evaaar then I question the working condition of your reekingofawesomenessdar.

~ ~ ~

Whupped again at chess by Smilin’ James Trucker on Sunday morning, but, but, but… I actually won a game! It was three games to one in his favour by the time we’d finished, but I’ll always remember my first victory over him.

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Great things on Wikipedia #381 - On Blue Eyed Soul: “The term is a misnomer, in that the artists don’t all have blue eyes.”

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Prediction: Gonzaga beats Couture, stoppage from strikes, round four. Hope: St Pierre beats Koscheck, fist clean through head, round one.

The Rainbow is a very cool pub, and since its recent-ish renovation there seem to be a lot of interesting gigs going on there. I don’t generally know about them until they’ve actually happened, of course, as it seems that quite a lot of them aren’t advertised any further than posters on the back wall inside.

Hurrah, then, for Kamikaze Events (I hadn’t heard of them before), whose promotional efforts actually managed to catch my attention for this first night of their new 444 club (£4, four bands, revelry continuing until four in the morning). I would say that the good turn-out supported this, but having just read the blurb on TheirSpace that could be pure co-incidence. It appears they’re only interested in bands if they have “strong local fanbases of 50+”. Hmmm.

The gigs at the Rainbow take place in the little courtyard (I would say ‘beer garden,’ but there’s no grass. There is a palm tree, if that helps) out the back, which is pretty cool. There’s a retracting roof thingy in case it rains (I bet it gets hot when they shut that, though. Fortunately wasn’t a problem on this particular night) and a barbeque/burger grill type thing. Genius ideas.

I’d never seen The Velvet Texas Cannonball before, but someone had in the past had told me that they were rubbish. This someone was wrong. Slightly psyche-y blues rock (Cream meeting earlier Deep Purple, perhaps), and very good with it. Their opening song had a daylight robbery of a lift from Rip Rig & Panic’s “You’re My Kind Of Climate,” but I suppose if you’re going to jack a riff then I applaud that as a choice. Visually they all looked like they belonged in different bands, which added something in a strange sort of way. Thumbs up.

Swampmeat were a duo consisting of a fella from The Big Bang (more on them soon, quite possibly) dressed up all retro-fied while singing and playing electro-acoustic guitar, and some kind of sea-mammal on drums. Their songs came out like a really engaging sped-up Memphis Country Rock, with some interesting lyrics that seemed to fit really well with the whole theme. Even more enjoyable.

Bee Stung Lips were next. Carnage. Absolute carnage. Their frantic and screamy (but catchy) JesusLizardeatinghteirownfaces punk seemed even better than on the previous two times I’ve witnessed it, yes, but at this gig their followers were more important. This was a lesson in how a small group of people can create havoc. I was paying more attention to them than the band, on the whole (readers will decide for themselves whether they think that’s good, bad or indifferent. I had fun), but that shouldn’t be taken as a reflection on Bee Stung Lips. Absolute chaos. It was ace.

Not every band could follow that, but obviously Copter were up to the task. Their StonesC5 Brown testifying soul’n’roll exists at a different end of ‘gloriously ludicrous’ to Bee Stung Lips, but glorious they are nonetheless. The redemptive preacher after the vision of hell, perhaps. Still no sign of this robot they’re supposed to have, though.

The Baron also wrote about this one, and he wrote about it here.

Maybe my last post was a little bit harsher than may have been strictly necessary. Facebook is, I’m sure, a website that has had a massively beneficial effect upon the lives of the teenagers that use it. I salute all involved in creating and running it.

I also hand out blessings to those who tell me I should sign up to Facebook. If these people want me to have a new medium through which I can make My Bold Pronouncements to them then this is something that my messiah complex and I find difficult to resist, but resist we must.

Y’see, at first I thought that I didn’t need to sign up to any more webcrap that I didn’t actually need to begin with. I also initially viewed “A website that expects me to register with it without showing me what it does” as a laughably stupid idea. Now I know better. Facebook, my friends, is a living model of a quantum superposition.

Look at it this way – I can’t view Facebook profiles without having already registered with the site. I have no idea if this registry will lead to a whole pile o’fun’n’frolics (I doubt it, but don’t know for sure), or yet another waste of my time. The wavefunction of the system is both “fun” and “crapola” smeared into one – a superposition of states. Only when I observe it (by signing up) will the wave collapse and become a definite state.

There is such a thing as ‘Objective Collapse Theory’ (I think. There’s a certain extent to which I’m winging this, not that you’d have guessed) which states that there’s nothing definite to say that the superposition won’t already have been collapsed by the time I get to it; ambient conditions directly applicable to it will (in effect) already have observed it. Not sure about that, in this case. I’m not willing to accept as credible the reports of all but a very small number of people who have taken it upon themselves to use Facebook (but bless that very small number. Bless ‘em to heaven).

Ultimately, I think I’m happier viewing this particular website in quantum terms than I am signing up to it.

***

On a related note, here is the first lolcat image I have ever created.

NO, I WILL NOT BE JOINING FACEBOOK.

Thank you.

When a-wondering through Last.FM I found a survey thing about one’s top 50, and decided to do it. Mine lies here, although may well have altered by the time you read this.

1. How did you get into 29? (Tom Waits)

If you’re into music then Tom Waits is likely to be a name floating in the ether, even if you’ve never heard him. Legendary Artist, Universally respected, and such. I believe my first actual experience with him was borrowing “Bone Machine” from Dudley library (or maybe Halesowen library. I think it was Dudley, though) on the basis of said reputation when I was about 18-ish, enjoying it no end, and taping it.

2. What was the first song you ever heard by 22? (Frank Sinatra)

I don’t have the faintest. In this case it’s his music as well as his name floating in the ether. I suspect “My Way” would have been the first song I actually associated with him.

3. What’s your favorite lyric by 33? (Nightwish)

I like Nightwish but I can’t pretend I pay a fat lot of attention to their lyrics.

4. What is your favorite album by 49? (Municipal Waste and Beaten Back To Pure are both in joint 48th place)

“Hazardous Mutation” and “The Burning South” (respectively) are the only albums I’ve heard by them. Both are ace, though.

5. How many albums by 13 do you own? (Al Green)

Two – “Let’s Stay Together” and “I’m Still In Love With You.” I’ve seen him live twice, if that helps.

6. What is your favorite song by 50? (Amerie)

“One Thing.” Oh, the drums. The beautiful drums.

7. Is there a song by 39 that makes you sad? (Bob Marley & The Wailers and Black Flag in joint 39th)

For Nesta I was expecting to say “lots” and give just one example, but now I think about it I’m not sure that’s right. Uplifting, y’see. There must be a couple nonethless, but I’ve thought hard and they’re not coming to mind. Black Flag are more about “GRAAARGH!” than “Boo-hoo-hoo,” so that’s another no.

8. What is your favorite album by 15? (Beverly Knight)

“Who I Am.” I do love Our Bev.

9. What is your favorite song by 5? (The Clash and Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds are joint 4th)

Both are difficult. I’m going for “(Are You) The On That I’ve Been Waiting For?” for Young Nicholas plus cohorts, but that’s something that tends to vary. For The Clash… oh, blimey. Right now I’ll say “Spanish Bombs” but that’ll vary even more frequently.

10. Is there a song by 6 that makes you happy? (Carina Round)

Most of her early stuff, depite them not being happy songs. Lord, that sounds ghoulish.

11. What is your favorite album by 40? (Bob Marley & The Wailers and Black Flag in joint 39th)

“Live!” and “Damaged” respectively.

12. What is your favorite song by 10? (Kanye West)

Ooh, dunno really. I think I might lean towards “All Falls Down.” Syleena Johnson’s voice is a rare thing.

13. What is a good memory you have involving 30? (Billy Ocean)

I have no memories involving Billy Ocean, but I’m going to see him in October. Hopefully that will create some.

14. What is your favorite song by 38? (Editors)

The “We don’t need excuses, no no we don’t need excuses” one. It took my ages to figure out what that lyric was, though. I wondered for a good while about what this unneeded “Astyoosis” might be.

15. Is there a song by 19 that makes you happy? (Britney Spears)

Let’s go for “Toxic”.

16. How many times have you seen 25 live? (16 Horsepower)

Never. Before my time, as far as I understand.

17. What is the first song you ever heard by 23? (Madonna)

Pass. See question two for an equivalent. I couldn’t even tell you which song I’m aware of first having associated with her in this case. “Like A Prayer” is responsible for me dropping the stupidity of insisting that I was A Rocker (and nothing else), though. It was too good to deny.

18. What is your favorite album by 11? (Marvin Gaye)

“What’s Going On”, even if I don’t view it in quite as strong a “one of the best albums ever” light as The Official Cannon does. I’ve never heard “Hear, My Dear” all the way through, incidentally. I think I’d like to.

19. Who is a favorite member of 1? (Johnny Cash)

That’s a question that doesn’t really work in this case.

20. Have you ever seen 14 live? (Radiohead)

Nope.

21. What is a good memory involving 27? (Black Sabbath)

Black Sabbath were the first band I ever reallyreallyreally fell for, and I remember how only too well. My mother (who used to listen to them in her youth) bought home a cheapo compilation one day (“Blackest Sabbath”), when I was aroundabout nine or ten or so. The first track was their eponymic; I heard the bells and the rain and thought “Well, that’s pretty atmospheric.” The huuuge slow riff then kicked in with its “BOWM… BOWM… BOOOOOOOOWM” and I thought something along the lines of “I’ll have some of that.”

22. What is your favorite song by 16? (Jamelia)

“See It In A Boy’s Eyes.” Shame it needs a southerner to help a Brummie Gal She with her best song, but there we are.

23. What is the first song you ever heard by 47? (Vashti Bunyan)

“Diamond Day” I would assume.

24. What is your favorite album by 18? (Damien Marley)

“Welcome To Jamrock.”

25. What is your favorite song by 21? (Neurosis)

Neurosis are absolutely not a ‘song’ band in my eyes by any means, but push me and I’ll (resentfully be forced to) say “The Doorway.” Or maybe “From Where Its Roots Run.”

26. What is the first song you ever heard by 26? (Ani DiFranco)

These ‘first song heard’ ones are really difficult. I honestly don’t have the first idea.

27. What is your favorite album by 3? (Aretha Franklin)

“I Never Loved A Man Like You.”

28. What is you favorite song by 22? (Frank Sinatra)

“That’s Life.” That’s what all the people say.

29. What was the first song you ever heard by 32? (Bedouin Soundclash)

I downloaded “Sounding A Mosaic” from recommendation, so I would hazard a guess that the first track “When The Night Feels My Song” would be the correct answer to this.

30. What is you favorite song by 8? (John Legend)

”Alright.”

1. How many times have you seen 17 live? (Danger Doom)

I have never seen Danger Doom live.

32. Is there a song by 44 that makes you happy? (Bedouin Soundclash)

A few. Maybe the aforementioned “When The Night Feels My Song” if I’m to pick one.

33. What is you favorite album by 12? (Regina Spektor)

“Begin To Hope” is the only one I’ve heard. I need to get on that, thinking about it.

34. What is the worst song by 45? (Wilson Pickett)

Don’t be silly now.

35. What was the first song you ever heard by 34? (Mistress)

Whatever they opened with when they played with Medulla Nocte at The Foundry on 19/11/2000.

36. What is you favorite album by 48? (Municipal Waste and Beaten Back To Pure are both in joint 48th place)

See question #4.

37. How many times have you seen 42 live? (Entombed and The Jam are in joint 41st place)

I’ve seen Entombed once. The Jam were before my time, again.

38. What is you favorite song by 36? (Sam Cooke and Angels Of Light & Akron/Family are joint 35th)

“Chain Gang” and “Moment” respectively.

39. What was the first song you ever heard by 28? (Battles)

Whatever they opened their set with at Supersonic 2005.

40. What is your favorite album by 7? (Roots Manuva)

Hmmmm. I think “Run Come Save Me” noses slightly into the lead, even if “Awfully Deep” is more consistant.

41. Is there a song by 31 that makes you happy? (Gladys Knight And The Pips)

Loads. Let’s say “Every Beat Of My Heart,” just to pick one.

42. What is your favorite album by 41? (Entombed and The Jam are in joint 41st place)

I don’t really know The Jam’s albums. I’ll go for Entombed’s “Wolverine Blues” at the moment, although that’s yet another that changes a lot.

43. What is your favorite song by 24? (Dilated Peoples)

“Worst Comes To Worst.”

44. What is a good memory you have involving 46? (Wilson Pickett and Sigur Ros joint 45th)

I remember seeing a comical karaoke version of “Mustang Sally.” I have no memories about Sigur Ros.

45. What is your favorite song by 35? (Sam Cooke and Angels Of Light & Akron/Family are joint 35th)

We’ve done this (#38).

46. Is there a song by 9 that makes you happy? (William E. Whitmore)

“Diggin’ My Grave” is quite the hoedown.

47. What is your favorite album by 4? (The Clash and Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds are joint 4th)

“London Calling” for The Clash, easily, but… aaaargh! I’m going to nod towards “The Boatman’s Call” at this particular moment in time.

48. Who is a favorite member of 37? (Godflesh)

Welll… it’s a question of “Broadrick” and “the other ones” with Godflesh, isn’t it? Benny Green or summat.

49. What is the first song you ever heard by 43? (Gogol Bordello and Smokey Robinson & The Miracles in joint 43rd)

Not the foggiest regarding either.

50. How many albums do you own by 20? (Kano)

Only “Home Sweet Home”. I suspect that there may be some mixtapes and such, but that’s his only proper album I’m aware of.

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My hands hurt now after all that.