Oh. (Russ L going to and fro in the Earth)

(If you don’t want spoilers from this weekend’s big-time MMA events then don’t read this. You’ve had fair warning).

New Year’s Eve weekend is typically a big time for fightsports, with both Pride and K-1 running spectaculars, but this year the addition of cards from the UFC and IFl made it even more of a Mixed Martial Arts festival than usual.

It’s a shame everyone’s fave Carlos Newton didn’t get a win in the IFL, but that’s the only thing I personally found of note from that one. The K-1 card attracted my attention principally due to how poor the line-up seemed, but I’m glad to see that loveable ol’ Paulo Cesar Silva got a win (bless ‘im). Akebono and Genki Sudo retired from MMA after their bouts; Sakuraba didn’t. Hopefully his friends and family stage an intervention and/or he gets sectioned soon, ‘cos this surely can’t go on.

Pride, conversely, had a fantastic card, and from everything I’ve read very little of it disappointed. So far, by the power of the internet, I’ve seen three of the fights. Joachim Hansen’s hair and beard make him look like a 381,799% harder version of Mitchell or Webb (I don’t know which is which. The human-looking one) of That Mitchell & Webb Look. In some kind of Nordic reverse-Sampson affair, though, Shinya Aoki had very little difficulty finishing him off very quickly. Fun while it lasted, but I didn’t expect that at all. A gogoplata, too! Superb. Mark Hunt vs Fedor Emilianenko, meanwhile, must have left a lot of fighters dismayed. Even on an obvious off-day Fedor looks a good five steps ahead of everyone else. Valiant display from Hunto, however. He seems to have finally found the time in his busy schedule for a bit of submission training.

Anyone who knows me, though, will know which one I was most excited about. James Thompson accepting a fight with Hidehiko Yoshida on short notice filled me with dread, but the boy done good. A great, great fight, with Jimmy-Mac hanging on in there through all of Yoshi’s sub attempts and eventually making his way out of them. He even had a happy little stab at a knee-bar himself at one point. A really scary moment came when Yoshida got the better of the stand-up and sent James reeling in the corner, but the cumulative damage of punch and knee after punch and knee eventually took its toll on the judoka. That last re-start should not have happened, and shame on the ref since Yoshi was half-unconscious already. I hope he’s alright now, but I can’t pretend that’s the main thing on my mind – Bristol Jimmy is back to winning ways with a huge victory. It’s Eric Esch for him next, at Cage Rage. Work on that kneebar, guvnor.

Another one of my faves fought on the UFC card, which you can see most of here (it’s televised on Bravo over here tomorrow night, but there you are if you’d rather). In the only one from it that I’ve watched so far, Michael Bisping took his biggest victory yet over Eric ‘Red’ Schafer. There’s been a lot of irritating stuff said about Mikey B on the internet, from both those for and against him. Your usual Sherdog-style dumbasses are keen to suggest he should be put in against the cream of the UFC light-heavyweight division right now, and in response to this others who should know better have (primarily out of pure reaction, I’m sure) hugely underated him. I’m definitely a fan (and was so a good while before he appeared on ‘The Ultimate Fighter,’ thank you very much), and I’m chuffed with the level he showed himself to be at currently. Schafer seemed to be able to take him down at will, and so obviously his wrestling/takedown defence is still the principle point he needs to address (especially in the American bigleagues), but his striking (derided as sloppy by some) continues to do the business and his submission defence worked a treat (there are those who have pointed out that Schafer very nearly caught him a few times. So, he was able to escape from Schafer’s closest catches… and that’s a bad thing?). He’s not at the top of the UFC yet and absolutely nowhere near, but I really do shake my head at those who would claim he isn’t proving himself as much as I would at those who think he should be Chack’s next challenger.

~ Russ L, thinking hard about would be a good next opponent for Bisping.

This one is crap, and although that probably is mostly the fault of my cursory research I can’t completely take the blame. It’s January. People’s stomachs are heavy and their wallets are light after Christmas and New Year, and as such less happens. I also think there’s some sort of psychological barrier for promoters and event organisers, where they begin to think “I don’t need to get the adverts out for that just yet, it’s not till next year.” In a couple of weeks time they’ll all go mental. Standard disclaimers: I can’t ensure that these events will go ahead, that they’ll be good, or that I will be going to them. Please do not contact me to ask for your event to be included. That’s not the way it works.

Sunday the 7th – BBC 1’s “The People’s Quiz 2007” open auditions @ The NEC, Birmingham - It says “open auditions” but suggests you contact the organisers (details through that link), so I don’t think it’s “open” in the sense of “just turn up”. The blurb asks if you can tell your Shakira from your Shakespeare and your Rooney from your Romans. I imagine the real questions will be harder.

Friday the 12th - Rush Hour Blues feat. The Destroyers @ The ICC, Birmingham - Rush Hour Blues is a great idea, providing free live music at 5:30pm on Fridays in the foyer of Symphony Hall, for commuters who don’t want to charge headlong into the traffic going out of Birmingham. Sadly, it normally consists of noodly-doodly bands of the type that consider ‘musicianship’ something more than a means to an end. Fools. This time, though, they have The Destroyers playing. There will be dancing, the shouting of “Hey!” at the end of bars and the wearing of silly hats. I’ve seen The Destroyers twice and adored them both times.

Thursday the 18th – Nog @ The Barfly, Birmingham - Hyper-mega-ultra-super-duper technical instrumental thrash metal. Get yourself proper badly Nogulated. Plus some other bands or something.

Saturday the 20th – Moseley Bog Conservation Workday @ Shire Country Park, Moseley, Birmingham - ‘Going to the bog’ puns ahoy! Loudly telling attendees that they ‘can do as much or as little as you like’ doesn’t necessarily strike me as the wisest of moves, but if you want to get yourself elbow-deep in muck in the name of conservation but don’t really know how to go about it then here’s your chance to start. A few such of these workdays are happening over the next few months, so keep your eyes peeled.

Sunday the 21st – Roy Harper @ The Mac, Edgbaston, Birmingham - Billy Bragg once described him as “as powerful and moving as anything I’d heard by The Clash.” Since ol’ Braggy can’t seem to go a full five minutes without saying “I like The Clash, me” that strikes me as high praise indeed.

Tuesday the 23rd – Frank Sidebottom @ The Jug Of Ale, Moseley, Birmingham - Erm… no, honestly. Frank Sidebottom.

Sunday the 28th – Ben Folds @ The Civic Hall, Wolverhampton - Someone suggested that I might like to go to this, and vaguely remembering a bit of Ben Folds (both with and without the fraudulent Five) that I’d heard in the past I thought it sounded like a good idea. Listening to him now (as I type this), though, I’m unsure. Something makes me want to like him even though I’m not actually doing so. My internal jury remains out, but with the paucity of stuff I’ve seen for this month I’ll stick this in here anyway.

Monday the 29th – “Comic Capers In Birmingham” by Patrick Baird @ Kings Norton Library, Kings Norton, Birmingham - “A talk with slides by Patrick Baird about Birmingham comedians and music hall stars.” That’s all I’ve got. Could well be interesting, but since it’s at 10:30 (I assume that must be morning, if it’s in a library) on a Monday one presumes it’s aimed at the elderly and/or unemployed.

Tuesday the 30th – Scott Matthews @ The Wulfrun Hall, Wolverhampton - I saw him at The Moseley Folk Festival and quite liked him. Since then (and I’m not surprised) he’s been on the telly and on the radio and all sorts, apparently. Cor. Always nice to see someone local doing well.

Tuesday the 30th - Beethoven’s 9th symphony with The Philharmonia Orchestra & Chorus @ Symphony Hall, Birmingham - Ooooooooh, you’ve got to love Beethoven’s 9th, in particular the finale. Y’know, the one from “A Clockwork Orange.” There’s a bit of Schoenberg being performed as a warm-up, too, which is a prospect that will always fill Johnny Concert-Goer with a mix of intrigue and anticipatory terror.

~ Russ L, apologising again for the less-than-lots-of-things to see and do.

“The World Famous Zanelli Franelli And His Touring Company in ‘Eight Pantos In Eighty Minutes’ ” took place at The Arena Theatre in Wolves on the 15th of December. General cock-ups (they happen) led to us being slightly late getting in. Yes, we were that night’s example of those annoying people who turn up late and walk across your field of vision after the play had already started. I was mortified with embarrassment, I really was. Sorry to all. We weren’t the only ones, at least.

The play itself, though, was fantastic. Think ‘The Muppets,’ in terms of a show that’s half a show in itself and half a show about the cast trying to put on the show, if you see what I mean.

Although I know I often seem easily amused, there wasn’t a minute-long stretch of this in which it wasn’t hilarious. Highlights would include “Jack And The Beanstalk” being done in yodel-ay-hi-hi singing style, and “Ali Babar” done with glove-puppets of animals. Hilarious stuff and genuinely suitable for all the family.

More Zanelli Franelli productions, please. I’ve a feeling they could go further with this.

~ Russ L, wondering how on earth he will ever… get… Throoooooooooouuuuuggghhh…

Straight from work over to town on Thursday the 14th, to see The Roots at The Academy. This one wasn’t approached without a fair degree of trepidation. Lots of people say that The Roots are the best live hip-hop act going; some even say they’re the best live act going of any description. I was worried, though. The sort of people who make these claims often strike me as the kind of folk who enjoy long solos, lengthy “When I say Boris, you say Johnson! Boris! (Johnson!) Boris! (Johnson!)” bits, and endless medleys of covers. Live music’s forced-fun equivalents of a firm of dour accountants all wearing party hats with grim determination at a New Year’s Eve do, in other words.

And? Well, at least we escaped one out of the three. Ceaseless numbers of little-bits-of-other-songs assailed the audience. It was lifted no end by some genuinely unexpected choices (I honestly didn’t see ‘Shimmy Shimmy Ya’ or ‘Flavor Flav Cold Lampin’ coming), but still all got a bit Jive Bunny’s Mastermix (as someone far better with turns of phrase than I once said about another gig). The bass and drum solos, meanwhile, went on. And on. And on.

Most people seemed greatly impressed with it all, of course. I doubt all of the people in the place fell into the category mentioned in my first paragraph, but that thought raises the spectre of something even worse. I seriously don’t think the extensive solonanism would have been as rapturously applauded if it hadn’t been a band that most of the massive knew they liked in advance (maybe the covers would, not sure about that). I hate noticing things like this, though. It puts me dangerously close to sharing the thoughts of the sort of elitist people I don’t want to share the thoughts of.

The disappointing thing about all this, of course, was that The Roots were really good when they were behaving themselves. They do create a very effective hard-edged groove, and Black Thought is an incredibly effective leading vocalist. When this constitutes only about 50% of the set, though, it’s a shame.

The best live hip-hop act? I wouldn’t say so – even the good bits weren’t as good as what I’ve seen in the past from Dilated Peoples, Public Enemy etc. The best live act of any description? I laugh in the face of such a claim.

~ Russ L, who was nonetheless amused by the bloke attempting to impress a young lady by doing Peter Crouch-esque bodypopping at her. God loves a tryer.

Right then, I hope you all had a nice Christmastime. I did, thank you for asking. Let us return to the discussion of prior events.

Off to see Billy Bragg at The Academy on Tuesday the 14th, so I was. I can imagine ‘what to do that night’ having been a difficult decision for some, with The Pogues playing at The NIA and The Damned at The Wulfrun as well as this. I can imagine the three of those having significantly overlapping followings.

I missed openeer (I like that, I’ll use that one again) ‘Get Cape. Wear Cape. Fly’ but I’m not really overly fussed about the fact. Braggy was… well, I think we all know what we can expect from Braggy. This was the third time I’d been to seen him, but even without that I think we all know what we can expect from Braggy. That’s not meant to sound in the slightest bit negative, since we also know that what we can expect from him is amazing. It’s interesting to note that this was the first time I’ve actually seen him fully solo (he was with The Blokes the first time, and accompanied for most of the set by Ian McLagan the second), just him and his guitar in the manner for which most of his more famous songs are known.

You got all your favourites, anyway, a few less famous ones, a few new ones (‘Farm Boy’ sounded especially good), some inspiring talk of solidarity (the Peugeot Workers had a stall in the gig), and a lot of hilarious wit and comedy. My last paragraph probably wasn’t fully accurate in the sense that I imagine there are probably folk out there who imagine he’ll be very po-faced and serious, whereas nothing could be further from the truth. I couldn’t pick a line of the night, but silencing someone shouting out the names of songs he wanted to hear with “It’s easy for you mate, you only have to remember the title” had me creased up.

A couple of the ‘Johnny Clash’ songs got an airing, he explained the double-meanings in Woody Guthrie’s “Ingrid Bergman” at embarrassing length (“Dad, stop it…”). “Great Leap Forwards” had updated lyrics, the fact that ‘Seven Nation Army’ is the modern version of ‘Smoke On The Water’ was demonstrated… all sorts of nifty and enjoyable things came about. He’s always fantastic, but I think this was possibly the best gig of his that I’ve seen yet.

There’s another account of this here. He definitely didn’t kick off with ‘Sexuality,’ though, that song came somewhere in the middle of the set.

~ Russ L, waiting for the great leap forwards.

Yay!

I just searched for and came across something that I really used to enjoy, once upon a time. I thought I’d share it. Ladies and Gentlemen: Yaz fanzine.

I used to send off for music fanzines many years ago, and Yaz was one of my favourites. Shortly later I discovered the internet and Dave Yaz’s amazing archive of gig reviews. I read them all, y’know. Start to finish. It was in my Halesowen college years, and if me bredrins weren’t around at a time when I didn’t have a class, I’d tend to go on the computers in the library. A lot of that time was spent reading through all of his live music writings, in chronological order. It took a while, as well you might imagine. You weren’t supposed to use the computers for recreation, so I will forever be grateful to him for putting them as simple text on a plain background in a way that could make it easily look like a scholarly treatise on the subject of whatever-have-you.

I don’t know (and have never known) Dave, but I always thought he seemed very similar to myself in a few ways. The ‘gradually and then ultimately getting disillusioned with seeking out new music, largely because of the behaviour and nature of a majority of the people around music’ bit is really writ large at the moment, and in fact was the reason why I today chose to Google for ‘Yaz Fanzine’.

But yes, anyway. Have a read. It’s all good stuff, and (as wanky as this sounds) probably something I’d call an influence on my own tendency to waffle on about events I attend.

~ Russ L, who has two gigs and two plays to write about and will get round to them soon.

In the Waterstones in Walsall.

I was approached by a young girl, about five years old (I suppose. I’m not good at guessing that sort of thing). “I’ve got new shoes” she announced, with all due solemnity.

“Have you?” I replied.

She beamed, and nodded her head with eagerness and enthusiasm.

“They’re very shiny,” I noted.

She returned to being solemn, and after considering this for a moment nodded her head in a very sage sort of way, as though we’d both given each other something very significant to ponder.

Then she wandered off back to her mom.

~ Russ L, thinking that there was probably a lot to be learned from this, but unsure precisely what.

If you’re out and about it’s not “the flu,” it’s “a cold.” This is definitional.

~ Russ L, saying ‘bah’ to blocked-nose related melodrama.

I’m even further out of chronological order than I intended to be. This happened because I’m a bit of a div. I can barely remember what day I’m on today, never mind the order in which things happened a week or two ago.

It was the 9th of December, anyway, when I went to The Mac to see ‘Alice In Wonderland’ as performed by ‘The Luke Players’ (I think. I can’t be certain, since I wasn’t handed a programme. I suspect I there may have been a slight touch of the same problems as here, leading the young ladies taking the tickets to Look At Me All Funny, Like. Apt for a Lewis Carroll tale, I suppose…). December 2006 will forever be remembered as ‘Alice Month’ by me, between this and the next version of it I’m going to see on Friday (as well as other things that we may well come back to later. Cryptic~!).

I hadn’t known beforehand the extent to which this was an am-dram performace, with little kiddies amongst the cast mumbling and forgetting their lines, stuck-on bits falling off the scenery etc. Fantastic! No, honestly. It was a lot of fun, and the general chaos of it added to the Alice-y atmosphere. Less pleasing were the folk in the audience who kept feeling the need to speak (out loud. They weren’t even bloody whispering), but there we are. Serves me right for going out amongst the public, I suppose. The Welsh Rabbit (cunningly adapted there, methinks) was probably the star of the show, although the little kid playing the Cheshire Cat was pretty fantastic, too.

There was even an audience participation bit. Given four options for answering “Why is a raven like a writing desk?”, we collectively opted for “One is good for writing books, the other is good for biting rooks…”

~ Russ L, not like Lewis Carroll really. Not in that way. Honest.